WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 260, 7 November 1906, Page 3

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

(By "Old Salt.")

That it takes all sorts of people to make a. world is a saying which cannot he controverted, so it is only a natural sequence that the contemplation of a question of world-wide interest should evoke all sorts of opinious from cadi according to the point of view to which his experience has led him, and this is, at times, of necessity very limited. For instance, Mr. Dearsley has set out. to explain from his point of view what are the aims, functions, and. generally, the raison d'etre, of the Peace Societies now established in various centres, and his conclusion put succinctly is that to secure immunity from attack it is only necessary to render oneself incapable of resist- ! ins it, while the presentation of the I

"other cheek" will effectually prevent any breach of the peace. I fancy I can see Mr. Keir Hardic, that fire-brand who appears to mistake anarchy for Socialism, and to act as Mr Dcarsley's mentor turning the other cheek: but he would certainly have his tongue in it. prom my own point of view, and experience gathered in such peaceful eomnmni- j tics as those found in shearing-sheds, ] gum-diggers' , camps, ships' forecastles, i and other places where light and learn- j ing do not much predominate, 1 have found that the individual who has the \ most peaceful time is the man who (as I

they say in the classics) is "handy with his hands." He does not have nearly as much "cheek" to put up with, let alone the other one, as the apostle of pes.ee, and I conclude that as with mdi- j viduals, so it is with nations.

Our King's message wishing success i to the New Zealand Exhibition is indeed a hearty one, and Christchurch is much to be congratulated. If i call attention ; to the reports of the opening and the \ :J7 : 000 visitors, it is with a wish to ex- j tract a fly from the ointment rather than I to put one in it that T enquire, were j there this number of visitors, or is the ; roll taken from automatic turntables, and should we read for •"visitors"—"admittances?" 1 can quite imagine, that with only teetotal beverages available inside, there would be quite a brisk demand to see men about dogs outside. Possibly something like this transpired.

VISITOR LOQ.: "'I have paid for admission To this great Kxhibition, Now what must I pay to go o\it? Willi the sights my head's bursting, But hungering and thirsting. My diaphragm suffers from drought.

Now. for starvation - !) colic, A driuk alcoholic Is the* medical comfort I need. I don't mind paying double, For giving this troublr. But a drink I must have, nnd with speed

Then the grave wicket porter. Remarked with some hauteur. "We only enarge people one way, I've the books Here as sentry, They're kept "'double entry," So, when you come hack, you can Day;"'

It is interesting to note that the party which charges its opponents with robbery and all uucnaritableness, become very intemperate when invested with a little brief (may it be so!) authority. The jrroliibitianlats sdccUecletl ill MukilH! moclitiel ilDolll [\VU llullulull [M CCIIC! Jjljt SCO } r 0" do it first. " '"' ■~ Exact just three times more (llall's , tllit*. Thus-tasins Poor folks' thirst. A currant scone and cup of tea, Are cheap at one and six; Don't kick though, if. in it, folks See &ls*e Prohibition tricks!

A young lady writes to a contemporary that she invariably suffers from sore eyes and lips after attending a dance, and ''Aunt Martha"—or whatever may 1)0 the name of the gentleman who at

tends 1o this correspondent's column— tells her that the symptoms are due to the particles detached from the polish ■with which the floor is dressed. Don't; you believe it. my dear. I have known girls to suffer in exactly the same way after returning from a picnic, where there was as little "polish" as is to be seen in the modern ball-room. To prevent the soreness of the eyes, don't examine and price the costumes of girls better dressed than yourself —the strain is too j;reat. The lips are best protected by not sitting out dances in remote corners, and if this be not attended to a disease known as "solitude a deux"' may set i in, and this often leads to sore hearts. ! I

Why the celebration of Guy Fawke's Day should have been signalised hy the setting fire to v a row of pine trees, as occurred at Parnell on Monday evening.. is very difficult to explain, and even the firemen, who were called out, would like to know what moved the childish ' mind to the deed. The illustrious Parnell, as we all know, always, for himself and his distressful countrymen, pined for Freedom: but that appears to be hardly sufficient excuse for the freedom which the children oi' Parnell took with other people's pines.

Most people will, I think, heartily endorse the remarks made by Mr. C. C. Kettle, S.M.j commending the -work of : the Salvation Army in this community, and stating his intention of protecting its members. At the same time, I would

suggest that they make their invitations a, little more explicit. Time after time I have heard them begging musically of all and sundry to "meet" them "at the 'fountain,'" and now one who accepted the invitation met Adjutant Dixon's "fountain," and has to pay for a newone. It was a fountain pen, and was smashed in the struggle—all sorts of attempts have been made to blacken the Army-.but the circumstance disproves for ever the adage that the pen is mightier than the sword, for it required only the appearance of a constable's helmet to subdue the young gentleman who demolished the pen.