MAN ABOUT TOWN.

Auckland Star, Volume III, Issue 630, 18 January 1872, Page 2

MAN ABOUT TOWN.

Within the last few months no loss than eight summonses have been taken out againstTrimble.minehostofthe Oriental Hotel and all for selling liquors on a Sunday and most remarkable to relate every one of these cases have broken down, with the exception of one, and that one is not yet disposed of. Is it that Trimble leads a charmed life or is it that his persecutions are most lamentable failures ? One comfort to the police is, that anyhow he gains a loss, as each time he is mulcted in heavy expenses. But what does that matter? he has plenty of money. But what amuses one is the testimony brought against the man. I have always given Mr Broham credit for being possessed of great sense, but when he relies on a civilian's evidence to obtain convictions it does secmunaccountable that he should pick out such men whose characters are not irreproachable. And then when these personages talk of ten and twenty pounds being offered them as hush money, while one would suppose from their tout-ensemble that ten shillings would be a godsend to them, it surpasses all imagination. To take one case, the man upon whom the police relied for a conviction admitted that he had twice done a little " time," but then that was only for ill-using a fellow creature; he wouldn't deny that he had been a rogue and a vagabond (within meaning of the Act), but at the same time, when he was charged with performing on a " flah knurd cove," and easing him of thirty "hog," he was " turned up,'1 and it wasn't fair to bring that matter forward. Another witness subpoenaed by Mr Broham was a curiosity. She was dressed as a female, aged 14, but had the appearance of being a gi'eat many years older. She evidently had no idea for what she was wanted, and was no use to either side. The great witness of the day "consisted of a Government official, at least he had once held a Government appointment; lie had obliged the sheriff on certain occasions in a certain land where blood shedding had been rife. Somewhat old and decrepid now, and somewhat shakey, but withal a trustworthy witness. He had certainly once taken the awful oath to " dispose " of all those he might be called upon to do, whether it were uncle or aunt, father or mother, sister or brother, and had received the customary dismissal — " Get out you sanguvnary wretch." But what matters, his word was as good as his bond, and he wasn't "Jack Ketch," now and why should he be doubted. But it was all no go, and Trimble again won a loss. It does seem unacountable that in their attempts to put down Sunday liquor traffic, tho police should stick to this one man, knowing at the same time that seven houses only in Auckland obey the law, and all the others are permitted to remain unmolested. " Fair play is a jewel," and if the police authorities are honest in their intentions, let them go in a " buster " and have a shy at the lot, or else, if they wink at the traffic, let them wink also at the Oriental, and not turn police prosecutions into police persecutions. One could'nt help laughing last Sunday when five members of the armed constabulary took the house by storm and thought they would bowl him out, but it was no go. One of them discovered a wet patch on the table and commenced licking it up, expecting to taste eau de vie, but it turned out to be a decoction used by mine host for healing a festered hand. It was a study to see the taster's countenance. All appeals for something to wash it down were unavailing, and our friends had to seek at another tap the liquor that was refused them there. Such is human existanco beloved youth.

What wonderful ideas people in Auckland have of natural history. Not many weeks ago a gentleman in alluding to the silkworms, proposed that the brutes should be hung, drawn, and quartered — I beg pardon, I mean hanged, drowned, or burnt. Now, I was not aware that a silkworm came under the classification of of brute beasts. Again, not long since an auctioneer in advertising a sale actually described a retriever dog as a fowl, and placed it under the head of poultry, and one of our morning papers on Thursday last, iii alluding to the low state of the water in the reservoir at the Domain, coolly informs the public that swarms of carp with which tho ponds are stocked are to be seen in thousands, kicking about in the mud. Now, on referring to John■on's dictionary you will observe; Kicking, noun, act of striking with, the foot. Andso these wonderful little members of the ichthyology family are possessed of feet, and to be seea daily kicking about in the mud. Shades of Buffon, what a phenomenon ! Well, wonders will never cease. I would advisa our worthy friend Brighton to turn them to account, and exhibit these extraordinary footed-fish to the public, making a small charge for admission, as no one would object to pay

to behold such uncommon freaks of nature.

When General Cholmondeley Smith informs his troopers of the Prince Alfred R.C.Y., that the usual Wednesday's dismounted parade will be held on Thursday, it reminds one of the parish clerk who gave notice at the village church once at Billericay, in Essex, ''That next Sunday being Ash Wednesday, but this year failing on Good Friday, no service will be conducted in this 'ere church." But the) gallant general goes further. He says that as a full muster of the troop is impo; Jt, all members will endeavor to be present. Now, if he is so confident of that, why does he take the trouble of giving them any notice at all, as it must be quite unnessary, consideringho is sure that they will be present. The Armed Constabulary, at the Waikato, have at last received their arrears of pay from the General Government. This is a source of congratulation to all, except those who coutemplated opening a loan and discount office down there. A promise has been made that in future their " screw " will always be paid regularly, and so it ought. If an ordinary employer fails to pay his servant's wages, he is liable to summary proceedings being taken against him.