MAN IN COUNCIL.

Auckland Star, Volume II, Issue 602, 14 December 1871, Page 2

MAN IN COUNCIL.

By GrEOFFBEY SOFTSAYVBEfi

There was a dreadful contest in the Council over the Auckland Institute vote or rather a proposal to give that learned body £1000 to build a lecture-hall offices, and museum, The Council had not the slightest objection to allow the Auckland philosophers to build a hall for themselves if they paid for it. Indeed the assemblage of scientific curiosities that meet every full moon require an asylum With perhaps three exceptions i^'i, assemblage of superanuated inepii^j For real scientific predilections I havelte greatest respect, and to Captain Heale, Mr Kirk, Captain Hutton, and it may be' one or two more members, I am ready to do all homage. But a man is not a sage because he wears spectacles. I knovr a good many people who wear spectacles because they are fools. The megatherium would acquire a venerable look if its pro. boscis surmounted, a pair of Negretti and Zambras 1 " patent pebbles." It would look even more antediluvian. These scientific societies everywhere promote a fungoid growth. Great amusement was * created last evening by the reiteration of a philosopher that the " rata " grows downwards. Mr Swanson, we think it was suggested the classic contour of a philoso' pher standing on his head. Mr Cadman enlivened the discussion with a narrative of his battles with the " blue-tailed " and "yellow-belly" flies." Our Provincial Socrates is in the habit of meeting these pests so dear to the Auckland swoons in the bush. There was a great grievance felt in a statement made by Dr Nicholson that there was hardly a member of council with intellect sufficiently developed to understand. What a buzzing there was at this audacious statement. The blue-bottles and yellow-bellias almoit split their sides against the windows. Mr Cadman made sundry movements athwart his nose, which showed he was ill at ease. The presumptuous insects got into his beard and hair, and trumpeted with vigor amid the orator's hoary locks. But there was a gale getting up against the flies. Mr Swanson told the Auckland dilletanti that the Councillors could not afford to give two pound ten for a spider, even though it were a British spider. Another hon. membar said that butterflies were pretty things, but he would not give a shilling a piece for a dozen of them. The "cricket on the earth" was a sociable kind of insect, but what the " dickens" did they want with black beetles. Perish black beetles, cockroaches, and mollygrubs. Would not, and did not, any bushman destroy myriads of them in a day. Mr May blossomed with benignity for science. Mr Hay said the caterpillars had chewed up all his grass, and Mr Farmer, being in the chair, could say nothing about the crops of the goldfinches. Dr Nicholson settled the question. He said there was a building available where i the bones of the Provincial fauna would rest in peace. The shark and the flounder would be in no fear of their skeletons catching cold. There was not the slightest fear, in Mr Mackay's opinion, of the coal measures and specimens in the museum setting the Thames on fire. There was no fear of the eggs of the kiwi getting addled, being wrapped up in flannel. The tracks of the moa would not stir. Mr Shanaghan would give £100 to the museum, so that the shade of the late benevolent doctor in Parnell should not bo disturbed* There was a cruel suggestion that when the skeleton of Titokowaru, the teeth of Te i Kooti, and the head of Kereopa were > amongst the collection, it would be worth going to see. Auckland science, we regret to say, was disconifitted by 18 to 13 votes.

Woman s Sights came up for discussion last evening. And woman was there in all her glory,—pretty, patronising, vivacious, ribbons streaming from their coquettish little hats, kid gloves on their dainty hands. Gracious! to see how assiduous the members were in pointing their shirt collars. Those who had none, —collars we mean, —stroked their beards; those that had no beards pulled their own noses with profound interest in the question. How eloquent the advocate of women's rights became! And what gracious smiles they got. The Provincial Secretary was meek; the Treasurer was radient; and the Goldfields Secretary held that the rights of women - were the precious nuggets of human life, her smile the true colour of the mine of wealth beneath, and the virgin bloom upon her cheek the support of the Government. What could the Executive —any Executive do without it. Mr, Carleton leaned his s , head upon his staff, looking to the ground. " The light of other days was gone." The orators on both sides were women defenders. Messrs. Boylan; Cadman, Mackay, and the majority insisted upon the impregnability of her virtue, as against the petition of a publican and sinner. The woman's right advocate, insisted that the best security, for home, was in giving her the " right "to tear the publican's opinion to tatters. The ladies won the victory by eighteen to eleven, upon a division. The hon Mr Creighton came up from the.; Thames to see the fray. He sat in the very blaze of the ladies' gallery. Had these maidens been on the floor of the house they would surely have passed him a vote of thanks and put a ribbon < round his neck. We have heard it said that a medal will be struck in honor of this gentleman's exertions for the reform of husbands. The arms of the cause will be raised ojy one side — three hearts with an orange; blossom for a crest. The likeness of fIPSj hon gentleman will be struck upon the^ other side, the effect being very striking indeed. The device would have beneath the inscription: Creighton admirabilis et aqueosus. There was great joy at the victory of j water pure and simple over water fortified with spirit. The majority proceeded straight to Bellamy's, and procured a dozen and a half of soda water and firedß volley over the remains c tgw'tf££r publicans petition. This feu discharged, the members adjourned c T'Jf Council Chamber, reported progre^jM" asked leave to sit again next sitting WThe minority have been "standing to one another ever since. ; [This was withheld from yesterday S., issue, owing to pre3B of matter.]

His Honor the Superintendent invites his constituents for the city west, to meet him at the Mechanics' Institute, at 9 t o'clQck to-nioryow evening.