THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

Auckland Star, Volume II, Issue 476, 20 July 1871, Page 2

THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

So the Highway Boards have been at it again.: They W cefilffiiy a lively lot; and if only half takes place that Dick affirms, these Highway Trustees- must have a comfortable time of it. Says Dick, on Monday morning, " Give us half-a-crown, dad; I want to be away to the Lake—tho annual meeting comes off at half-past two." I knew very well if I didn't give him the money to pay his boat fare he would have swam across the harbour : so I baaded the amount over to him, with instructions not to indulge too freely, nor to mix with any questionable society. He returned safely in the evening, and gave me a long account of what had taken place. It seems there was a great row, through the interference of Allan O'Beill, who declared that the' money spent on the private road of one of the members of the Board ought to have gone to building the wharf on his (Mr. O'BeiU'a) own ground. - At the election of trustees, several Maoris present were proposed, but declined to stand, unless the rates were oil handed over in advance, and they hod a carte blanche to spend the money in any way they desired, strange to say they were not elected.

But the really funny meeting of the season —the meeting of the Dedirood ratepayers —came off" on Tuesday evening, at the Suffolk Hotel. Dick told me the story with great glee. Says he, " You see, father, I knew there'd be some fun there, 'cos the chairman 's such a rum chap; and so I set off on my long walk, quite cheerful like. When I arrived at the hotel, I found the bar quite full of independent ratepayers, who were putting themselves outside of their favourite " touches" with great rapidity. The old trustees were standing by themselves in a corner, congratulating themselves on the improved state of the roads near their private residences sinco they had boen in office. Well, the meeting soon commenced, and after reading the balance sheets, the outgoing trustees hoped their successors would linish on the workswhich they had begun, and the chairman added that a few more drain • pipes wore ' required for his back garden, which he hoped the now Board would attend to. One of the chaps wanted to speak, but Bones wouldn't let bim, 'cos he said he had'nt paid his rates. Bones added that he knew what ho was doing, and he should try to act intelligently on this evening, if he didn't do so as a general rule. " Which," said one of the ratepayers, "is a fact." Mr. Bay Cloud had'nt paid his footing, and if he opened his mouth, he should be adjudged to shout for all hands. (Loud cheers). Well, father, continued Dick, " Tho Cloudy one tried to speak, but tho Fiery little chap wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise, and so shut him up fora time. But then another fiery little chap, who was apt to got into a dreadful confusion of words and grammar generally, kicked up a bobbery about tho Board paying £10 fer a job which he said, could have been done in his office for twice the money." But as Dick's so long winded I'll finish the account of the meeting myself. All then tried to speak together, and did so very satisfactorily but unintelligibly. Mr. Use spoke on tho li-gal aspect of tho question, which then assumed quite another phase, Mr. Use's well-known oratorical power convincing, if nobody elsr>, at least himself. On the whole this young gentleman mudu himself anything nut agreeable, but' said if they'd get all the work done in his office he'd *-.it down at once. When it came to tho election of trustees this Mr. Use said he had ninety-fire proxies, but the gallant Chairman at once came to the rescue with one hundred and twenty-four, and completely swamped them, Mr. Use retreating in confusion. By this .masterly bit of strategy, Mr. Bonos found himself once more in tho Board, with many of his old coadjutors. After another shindy abjut defaulting ratepayers, whose names are to be published in this journal for the next month to come, unless they immediately stump up, a vote of thanks was given to the Chairman for his noble conduct in the chair. Mr. Bones replied in his usuil wellknown style. He said they might depend upon it that while they entrusted him and his gallant colleagues with the key of the treasury, they'd leave no stono unturned, to do their very best for the roads in the immediate vicinity of their own property ; so far as he was concerned he had ever done so, end he was sure they would believe him when he told them that ha ever meant to do so. (Loud cheers.) All hands then adjourned to tho refreshment ropin, and it being a cold night, it was unanimously resolved to have hot drinks all round, the same to be paid for out of the rates. Some very pleasing toasts and sentiments were then given, and the evening which had begun roughly, ended in harmony and—gin auu" water.

What a complimentary sort of. advertisement that is in this morning's paper, signed by our enterpn'sing follow townsman, Mr. Leynsson. It must be. very cheerful to th^ parties referred to. . The satire is keen indeed, and Messrs. B. and H. must shake in (heir shoes at the prospect of Mr. Lowisson's friends taking an early dinner off the turkey fattened by the grass springing from the graves of those two worthy citizens. I undorAtand that Mr. L. is about to make his will at once, and that Mr. Lewisson is already sending round cards of invitation for the feast. The advertisement is, no doubt very funny, but iv my opinion it's not in the highest tasie, and there are people who. say that it's equivalent to a threat—that Mr. L. is going to live ior the next fifty years. The turkey will, no doubt, be succulent and juicy; but I hops I shan't bo included in the list, of guests, for I really couldn't stomach it. The Foreman of Works is advertising for a waller, whatever that may mean, and guarantees conston*. employment to one whose word may be relied upon. Ala 3! I fear that the Foreman must wait awhile, or search elsewhere, for such a man, for assuredly he is not to be found in Auckland. Dick says ho thinks he wants a man to build a wall or culvert, or something or other, and one Who won't swear that wet clay is superior mortar. May-be Dick is right, but I must confess that it passes my comprehension. "■■. '■ ' •',' • Dick went to the Circus the other night, and appeared to enjoy himself

highly. I lent him jdJ§'ticket upon the occasion, arid he pftroniaed the dress circles. He say's that two minutes after the performance commenced he heard a loud cry of "jnake., way for the Press," aid directly afterwards a young gentleman took his seat in the dress circles. He at once pulled out a large book, and, impressed with the import :nce of his duties, took full notes of the performance from the commencement to the close of the entertainment. Ho was very particular in counting heads, and asked Dick to take one side while he took the other, for fear he should make a mistake in his enumeration. Ho said that if he made a mistake of one he would be visited with condign punishment from his head employer. Dick asked him for what paper he appeared, and he answered with grandiloquence that he was the Chief Heporter.on the 3£orninff_ News. Not a thing escaped him, and before leaving at the close of the performance, whichhe sat out most religiously, he had filled up his book. Next morning, to Dick's astonishment, there were about four lines in the News, and Dick says he believes the fellow is a humbug, and didn't belong to the News at all. else that he's not yet up to bis work. Very like, Dick ; very like. After leaving the circus, Dick went to Gherkins' Oxhidental for refreshment, for, strange to say, his cold still hangs on him ; and there he heard a very remarkable bet made. Old Soloshin from the Thames offered to bet Hellis, the well-known sharobroker, £10 to £1 that the Caledonian wouldn't pay a dividend the noxt time it was declared. "Done," says Mr. Hellis, and the money was stakcl. Tho next morning Solonhin wiiit to Hcllis, nnd said what ho had meant was that tho Caledonian wouldn't p.-iy a dividend in the usual fortnight. 13ut Meliis diiu't see it in that light, and Mr. Soloshin lost his £1.

"What's all this bobbery about a Volunteer l>anl ? There's n good deal to be slid, on both sides, but more for the band than against it. Several persons have ondeavourod to defend the supiness of the officers iv this matter, and one well-known volunteer belonging No. 3 Company, and of a very Supine temperament, lells me tkat estimates are to be obtained from England at the earliest opportunity. Yes; and I suppose, in the course of two or three years, we may expect to see the instruments out, and in another year or two the band formed. Dick says he shall certainly leave if something isn't done soon, and I hear others say the same. Why not send over to Melbourne, and get the instruments at once ? Let the officers and men put their hands into their pockets—but especially the officers — and we shall soon hare an efficient band for the Rifles.

I'm not much up in gazette matters, or on the subject of deputations, but it appears to me that the action of the Provincial Government, or rather, of His Honor the Superintendent, is anything b\iC just in reference to the John O'G-roats Companj. Mr. Whitaker seems to havo pointed out pretty conclusively that certain information was obtained fraudulently. His Honor admits that it was obtained at least surreptitiously ; and yet, forsooth, tho lease will bo granted to tho party so obtaining the information, to the evident benefit of the man who, being in tho printing offices where the gazette was got up divulged the secrets of the Government with the sole intention of putting money into his own pocket. Such a man merits the contempt of all,decent people, and is as much a roguo as if ho had directly swindled tho john O'Groats Gold Mining Company out of their just rights—which, in point of fact he has done —aud . His Honor forsooth ! the custodian of the Thames, will not interfere to prevmt him benefiting thereby—thus hojding out a premium to roguery and rascality. It strikes me the members of the Early Closing Association are going rather too far. If oar citizens choose to close their places of business at six o'clock, well and good, but that thero should be any attempt to shut them up by annoyance, threats, or coercion, is coming it rather too strong. There is a good deal to be said on both sides of the question. When I was a young man I could'nt get away homo at six o'clock in the evening, nor had I above finished half my day's work/ but things are changed now, and everybody goes in for &s little work as possible, and as much pay as they can get—and quite right. But tho masters are entitled to a say on the subject too. I had intended to have referred to several other matters, but Dick has taken up so much room with his wretched-re-ports of highway meetings that I have no space in this letter. Nathahiel Beeswing.