PUT HER BACK

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 490, 25 March 1881, Page 3

PUT HER BACK

The Mudborrow elders had a spire on their meeting house, and on that epire a copper weither-cock. Any change of wind under a gale this weathercock refused to indicate, therefore the Mudborrow elders advertised in the paper for tenders to take down, clean, and oil the Mudborrow weather-cock. When the tenders were opened, several tradesmen ran close, 420 dollars, 430, and so on, up to 500 dollare, but Helicon Cobdasher's document signified his willingness to carry out the work

named for 302 dollars. Helicon was a

good workman and his tender was unanim- • ously accepted, though the lowness of the amount, and the two extra dollars, gave the Mudborrow worthies cause for much wonderment. Helicon erected the scaffold, got down the weathercock, polished and oiled it up equal to new, and sent it up to the preacher's house in a barrow. Down came the parson to Helicon. "What do you mean by sending the weathercock to my house Mr Cobdasher?" "Waal, parson I thought yu mbf want'ein now he's soiter 6bined up a bit. Look, fetchin' in the beet iborn windy, parson." "But, my good man, \#e require it replaced." "Oh I think of the h'isting her thar agin dv yu." "Of course we do ! Why man, can you bo such an idiot as to imagine we want to keep it down here ?" "Don't get viler.t, parson. You may get some fixins on hand about as useful, bat a darned site more expensiv' to keep." "We expect you to replace that weathercock, Mr Cobdasher." "Kant say as I hankers much of the job. I'm busy about teown for a week or two." " Unheard of impertinence 1 We shall compel you under the contrast, sir, to replace it immediately 1" ' Yaas, you may go your bottom piece you don't 1 I tender tv git that ugly copper cuss down hyar, and clean an' ile her arter she was hyar, but I reckon all the ink spilt on that contract don't hist her a foot back agin, anyhow !" The preachers and elders met in solemn conclave ; several deacons coaxed, cajoled, javed, and stormed at Helicon for a week, but it was of no avail, Helicon told them on tlieir last interview—"lt's no tarriol use yewr roarin' aroun' hyar. gen'lemen ; 1:50 dole, more, an' in tew days frum ncow yewr copper-cropper rooeter rests on the

small end of that spire in sekoority." "If we are compelled to pay to get it up, another tradesman shall do it, not you," bellowed Deacon Smithers. "Sartinly I If yew wish, jren'lemen. I'll jist git my scaffold away to give em room. Jonas, put tlie critter in the shebang, an' four or five of you lads go down an' shove them sticks off: llie spire directly, an'—" "Mr dear Mr Cobdasber, how can anyone get up there withoutyonr scaffold ?" "Oh, it »in't no trouble, bless yer. Just stick up one o'thar own !" "Confusion ! that will cost as much as their original tender for the whole. Oh dear, dear ! Properly refix that weathercock, Cobdasher, and the 250 dols. are yours." "K'rect, deacon. Write out the order thar. Thankye gen'lemen. That's a splendid bird o' yours, you bet. It's a credit to the place, and a bit of debit to the suporters of the church, but its a fine bird. Good day gen'lemen." Jonas, the firat hand, nudged Helicon after the gen'lemen left and whispered, "Say, boss, what was that.odd two dollars stuck on the first tender for ?" "Tew cover the drinks Em boun , to stan when this yarn gits Joose. Let's get tew on account, Jona^