Miscellany.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 476, 15 February 1881, Page 3

Miscellany.

A NUMBER OF THINGS THAT AXE

HARD TO FIND.

An unmarried woman who never had an offer,

A pocket lenife that is never in " them other pants."

A singer who never complains of a cold when asked to sing.

A pencil that is always in the first pocket you put your hand into.

A child who would not rather eat between meals than at meals.

A man who will refrain from calling his mend's speech a " happy effort." A married man who does not think all the girls envy his wife the prize she has captured.

An editor who ne>er feels pleased to have his good .things credited, or mad when they aro stolon.

A man who has been a fool some time during his life and knows enough to keep thq knowledge of it to himeelf.

A woman who when caught in her second best dress, will make no apology for her dreadful appearance.

A person, age or sex immaterial, who docs not experience a flush of pride upon being thought what he is not and may never hopo to be.

A married woman who never said " No wonder tiie girls don't got married nowadays : they are altogether different from what they were when I vas a girl."

A woman who remembers last Sunday's text, but is unable to speak understandingly of the trimmings on the bonnet of the lady in the pew next in front.

A man who never intimated that the economics of the universe were subject to his movements, by saying, " I knew if I took an umbrella it wouldn't rain." or some similar asinine remarks.