BEER WILL NOT INTOXICATE.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 425, 17 August 1880, Page 3

BEER WILL NOT INTOXICATE.

I have finally cum to the conclusion that lager beer as a beverage is not in- "** toxicating. I have been told by a German who drunk it all nite long just to try the experiment, and was obliged to go home *" sober in the morning. I hay seen the same man drink eighteen glasses, and if he was drunk it wns in German, and nobody could understand it. It is proper enough to state that this man kept a lager beer saloon, and could have no object in stating what was strictly thus. I believe him to the full extent of my ability. I never drank but three glasses of lager in my life, and that made my head outwist as tho it was hung on the end of a string, but I wus told it was owing to my bile being out of place; ■" and I guess that it was so, for I never hiled over wuss than I did when I got home that nite. My wife thot I was going to die, and I was afraid I shouldn't, ** for it seemed as tho everything I haa eaten in my life was coming to the surface ; and I believe that, if my wife hadn't pulled oil' my boots just as she did, they would hay cum thundering up too. 0, how sick I wuz ! Fourteen years ago, and I taste it now. I never had bo much experience in so short a time. If any shud tell mo that lager been was not intoxicating, I shud believe him.; but if he should tell me that I wasn't "* drunk that nite, but that my stummick was ont of order, I should ask him to state over a few words just how a man M felt and acted when he was set up. If I warn't drunk that nite, I had some of the most- natural simptums that a man over had and kept sober. In the first place it was about eighty rods from where I drank the lager beer to my house and I was jeet over two the road, and a hole busted each one of my pantaloon neez, didn't hay any hat, and tried to open door by tho bell-pull,, and hiccuped and saw everything in the room get round on the back side of and, silting down on a chair, I did wait exactly long enough for it to get exactly under me when I wuz going round, and I set down and missed the chair about 12in., and couldn't get up soon enough to tuke the next one that came along ; and that ain't awl, my wife sed I wuz as drunk as a beest, and, az I said before, I begun to spin up things freely. If lager beer is not intoxicating it used me most almightly mean, that I know. Still I do not think lager beer iz intoxicating," for I have been told so ; I am probably the only man that ever drank any when his liver was not plumb. I don't want to say anything against a harmless temperance beverage ; but if ever I drink euy more it will be with my 'tied behind and mi mouth pried I don't think lager beer iz intoxieating ; but, if I remember rite, I think tasted to me like a glass of soapsuds that a pickle li|(l been put tew soak in.