SPECIAL EPISTOL.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 384, 26 March 1880, Page 2

SPECIAL EPISTOL.

(JFVom the Saturday Advertiser.') Lambton Kay, Wellington, March 13th, 1880. Be the hokey I've some startiin' news for yer readhers this week, and divil a word o' lie in it. A few daya ago, jist as I was sindin' me portmantey down to the steamer to take me to Dunaydin to jine the Pasthor, I was stopped on the Kay be a sarious lookin' man. "Misther Murphy,

I preshutne," ses he. "The same, at yer sarvice," ses I. " I'd like to have a few minutes' discoorse wid ye," ses he ; " jist the last taste in private," ses he. Ay cootse I couldn't do less, undher the sarcumstances, thin ax him into the Oxidintal, an' " whin we tuk the oatb," as the Yankees say, he inthrojooced himsilf as a Mormon Eldher. He told me that he'd ju.st hoard o' me raycint convarshin', an' he was sorry to see me goin , in sich bad company. Thin he wint on to ixplain the beauties o'the Marmon religion, an', bedad, he wasn't long in convincin' me o , the thruth ay it. "Misther Murphy," ses he, " I can asure ye, on the word ay an ixparionced saint, that yell like Polly Gammy," ses he. "Arrah ! d'ye think so?" ses I ; "is Polly so purty as all that?" ses I. Begorra, ye don't undherstand me," ses he ; " Polly Gamtny is the name we give to all our wives ; ye can marry as many as ye plaise," ses he. "Och, .uitjrther, luk at that," ses I; " tare-an-ounthers, man alive, don't say another word, for, be me conshinsti, that's the religion to shuit me," ses I;" an, begorra, I'll get a few more o' the boys to jine ye," ses I; "but whisper," ees I, " don't braithe a eyllabil to Molly or the childher, or she'll put the comether on me new convarshin'," sea I. "Mum's the word," ses the Eldher, as he rung the bell for another " wink." I'll be startin' for Utah be the nixt Frisco mail, an' the Pasthor will be as mad as a March hare whin he hears that I'vo lift him. The folio win' milody was suggested be the ivint: . . JININ , THE MORMONS. Arrah, boys 1 did ye hear ay the change that I've made, I'm goin , to give up the political thrade, Mesilf an' Tim Flinn an , big Barney Macquaid> Wid two ay the Burkes an , O'Gormans, Are packin' our baggages up for a thrip, An Elder from Utah has give us a dip, We're bound for Salt Lake in a beautiful ship, Begorra, we're jinin' the Mormons. Hurro ! me bould hearties, I'm dancin' wid glee, The sweet little craythurs are waitin , for me, I'm proud as me ancesthor, Darby M'Gee, Who thrashed all the Saxons an' Normans. ' I'm free from Sir George an' political sthrife, The Eldher has taught mi to either roe life, In Utah I'll not be tied down to one wife, Begorra, I'm jinin , the Mormons. Och tundher-an-turf! how the datlints will thry To conquer me heart, as the honies will cry— " Sure we are yer wife, Pat, an , f aix that's no lie," An' thin for a kiss they'll be swarmin , . I've wasted me years wid Sir George and wid Mac, But now on New Zayland I'll turn me back, I think I am now on an illigant tack, I'll make a most beautiful Mormon. PADDY MURPHY.