ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 317, 1 August 1879, Page 3

ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

(Collated from our Exchanges.) At an evening party some merry young. folks suggested that they should all try jt who could write the best Irish letter. Thefollowing won the prize :—" My dear Nephew,—Enclosed is a £5-note, which your father sends to you unbeknown to me, and desires-me to inform you of the decease yoar only living uncle Patrick; he lay five days quite speechless, asking for water every minute. I cannot describe to you •the agonies of mind we endured all the time. '0 Pat,' says I, 'If you're dead speak to me ?' Poor fellow, he could not move a limb, so he raised his arm in reply. A stroke prevented his inquiring about his dear relative :so he says,' Bridget how's our nephew faring ?' Says I,' All serene: I intend writing to say how ill you are, when you are dead.' 'Oh,' says he, * tell him not to open the letter for a week from the time he gets it; that will give him time to get over his sorrow before he knows about » ft.' Kind forethought of your dear departed uncle. He died very suddenly after illness. Now, my dear nephew, write and teU me how you bear the loss of your near relative. Better ;do so at once, before you receive this, to save time and anxiety to my mind respecting you. With kind love, believe me, dear nephew, your . loving auut, Bridget. P.S.---I think you had better address to me aB before; but put a blank envelope over to avoid any mis- * take.—-Kathleen Stcabt.''

A woman clad in mourning took a seat in front of a sharp-faced, inquisitive-look-ing female. Presently the woman in black -,-felt a tap on her shoulder, and heard her neighbor ask in a low* sympathetic tone : \ « Lost anybody ?" A silent nod was, the response. "Child?" A negative shake of the head. " Parent?" A similar reply, ''Husband?" A slow, affirmative nod. "Life insured?" A nod. Experienced religion? A nod again. Then: "Well, welt cheer up. Life insured and experienced religion; you're all right and flo'B he."— lnevrance Age, j A New York letter to the Philadelphia Ledger says:—There would really seem - tobe no future for the poor sailing ship. About the only paying business that has been left for the smaller class of vessels of late has been the West Indian sugar and molasses tirade, andnow even, that is ■**" about to be turned over to tlie all devourine British 'steamship. At this moment there are some six or seven of these quicksailing, cheap manned British freighters on their way to this side, under charter to briwr Bugar at 3dol. 25@4. per hogshead; port charges included, whereas the fiailimr vessels heretofore have thought they were doing badly if they could not get a much higher figure. These steamers - IWupwardsol aIOOO tons burthen, but their <_nmght is not so great as to prevent them from getting in "*,-«*£- m *°* the succar ports without difficulty. lue woretof itV said an old shipowner at the * Maritime Exchange the other afternoon, " when these British steamers xmce take hold of any particular trade, they never letgotheiJhold until they have driven Srerybodyelseoutofit We may as well accept the situation, however, and make Sebest of it Certain it is that the sailing vessel has had its day, and as things stod at present, no one but a lunatic will think of bmlding a new one.

The number of emigrants who left Irißh ports last year was 41,626-an increase of _» iOionly on tbe previous year, notwith- * stwdSg the agrieultual and trade deSSrio£ Forty-one thousand one hunIred and twenty-four of these were nafaves of Ireland; but it is remarkable that m- only 35 per cent of the whole number went to tL United States. Of those who cmiSated to Scotland the largest proportion were Ulster men ; and even the Irish emigrants to English towns were more largely from Ulster Ind Leinster, than ivom the provinces of Munster or Connaught, from which the more » nationalist" class of emigrants would be expected to come.