ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 3, Issue 245, 22 November 1878, Page 3

ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

(Collated from our Exchanges.)

Says a writer in a Nelson paper :—-•' Parliament gone out, and big gooseberries not -yet come in! It is a dreary, look-out just at present for the members of the commissariat department of the Press whose duty it is to skirmish round for the little crumbs Tequired to fill the gossiping portion of the paper."

One day this summer we (American -writer) rode fifty miles in a railway car, seated behind four men who were playing with those awful playthings of the devil— cards. They played euchre until they were tired of it. They played a little seven-up, pedro, and occasionally a trifle oi poker. We never heard a dispute. Their bursts of merriment occasionally at some unexpected play repeatedly drew our eyes from our book. They never quarrelled and never called names once. When we got out at our station we sat at | our window and watched a. party of young men and maidens play croquet. In fifteen ininuteß we saw two persens cheat successfully. We heard the one player who did not cheat accused of cheating five times, heard four distinct bitter quarrels. We heard a beautif'd young girl tell two lies, and a meek-looking young man three, and ■finally we caw the young girl throw her mallett against the fence so hard that it frightened a horse, the other young girl pounded her mallet so hard on the ground that it knocked tfee buds off an apple tree; they both banged into the house at different doors, and the two young men looked sheepish and went off after a irink. Now, why is -tills ? Isn't croquet a goodi moral .game..? The London,correspondent of the Sydney Mail writes ":—" Tlie Capel Fitzgerald scandal, I daresay, has been thoroughly ventilated in your columns, and the whole story of the young baronet's robbery of the young woman who appeared to have both loved and trusted him, is too disgusting to be recapitulated, nor should I have mentioned him at all but that a curious and terrible legend is related about his family. The first baronet, his grandfather, was known as * hanging Fitzgerald'; he was created a baronet for the active part he took in the suppression of the Irish Kebellion of 1798, when he stalked through the country, shooting, hanging, and flogging men, women and children, and all whom he chose to suspect of disloyalty. One day an old woman knelt in the blood of ber two sons, whom he had shot dead at their own door, and lifting her hands to heaven, cursed him and his descendants to the third generation, and prophesied a death of disgrace to all his race so far Twenty-five years later the object of the malediction died by his own hand. Ten years ago his boo, the second baronet, cut his throat, and Sir Capel Fitzgerald, the third and last of the line, is mow awaiting his trial fot a felony of the -saDSk disgraceful .nature."

" A few weeks ago," states the Border Post (Victoria) of October 26th; « a human skeleton was unearthed by ~the workmen engaged in forming the new road to Howlong, via the river. On the 24th instant we had an opportunity of seeing the spot from whence the skeleton was taken, and to our intense surprise found the tomb was about -five feet below the surface in the solid rock. To discover a human being's romai-Bis in a mausoleum of adamantine stone appears to be so' marvellous a story that it would be worthy of a veritable Baron Munchausen. Nevertheless, it is a fact ■; fi-ve feet of stone have been penetrated in some manner or other by. the aborigines in years gone by, and the cavity filled up by rocks. What were the implements used to penetrate the rock, and why the blacks preferred to sink a grave in the stone in preference to soft ground, are questions that require answering " Reporting the capture of a devil-fish the Timaru Herald of the 9th says:—"One of those disgusting looking but interesting fish was caught off the breakwater yesterday morning. It was placed in a tub of salt water by a gentleman into whose possession it came, and was interviewed during the afternoon by a number of people. Its arms, of which' it possessed half a dozen or so, ranged from a foot to nearly three feet in length, and were armed with the usual suckers. Its round jelly-like body was about a foot long by e|ght inches in diameter. In the tub it was particularly lively, and whenever irritated it would discharge a spout of water or cloud of sepia with great force. Several of these devil-fish, or octopi, have been thrown up on the beach here lately, and they must be pretty numerous in the roadstead.

A physiological phenomenon has just been discovered in Cincinatti by one of the district physicians. It is nothing less than ft colored woman turning white. Luella Smith, aged 30 years, who is living at No. 60, Gano Alley, is not a mulatto. She's as black as your hat in the face, but her body is gradually beginingto turn as wliite as any Caucasian. Tin's changing process began about fiveyears ago, and now her body is fully two-fifths while ; on her breast there is a white spot about eight inches long and six inches wide. Her limbs, too, present the same singular appearance, and, if the change keeps on, she will in a few years be as white as anybody. At present she is being treated for consumption. The only wliite spots about her face are directly behind either ear and inside the ears. The doctors call this transformation " absorption of pigment," but whatever it is, it is extraordinary, and will elicit a good deal of attention from the medical profession.

A St. Louis joi.rnal advises young men to choose a wife l»y the music she pla3 r s and the way she plays it. If she manifests a predilection for Strauss, she is frivolous ; for Beethoven, she is unpractical; for Liszt, she is too ambitious ; for Verdi, she is sentimental ; for Offenbach, she is giddy; for Gounod, she is lackadaisical; for Gottschalk, she is superficial ; for Mozart, she is prudish ; for Flotow, i-he is commonplace ; for Wagner, she is idiotic. The girl who hammers away at " The Maiden's Prayer," "The Anvil Chorus,"nnd "Silvery Waves" may be depended on as a good cook and also as being healthful ; and if she includes " The Battle of the Prague " and "The White Cockade" in her repertory, you ought to know that she has been thoughtfully, religiously, and strictly matured. But, last of ail, pin your faith upon the calico dress of the girl who can play " Home, Sweet Home." Our lady readers will learn with interest that the value of a French girl's nose has just been judicially appraised at £200. Some time ago a Paris omnibus horse became frisky ; there was a collison, a window was smashed and a passenger, a young deinoif-elle, received some of the broken glass in her face. It was at first thought the hurts were trifling, and her parents declined the proffered services of the omnibus company's doctor. But the scratches did not heal as they were expected to, and the girl's father brought an action against the company, alleging that her nose had been permanently injured, and that this seriously diminished her prospects of establishment in life—in other words of getting a husband. He obtained £40 on the first trial and £200 on the second.

A little boy, earring some eggs home from the shop, dropped them. " Did yon break any?" asked his mother, when he told her of it. "No," said the little fellow ; " but the shells came off some of 'em."

In a recent case for assault the defendant pleaded guilty. " I think I must be guilty," said he, " because the plaintiff and I were the only ones in the room; and the first thing I knew was that I was standing up and he was doubled over the table, You'd better call it guilty."

A certain Pulling-er, inventor and manufacturer of the " perpetual mouse trap," thus descibes himself on his card :—" Collin Pullinger, Selsey, near Chichester, contractor, inventor, fisherman, and mechanic, following the various trades and professions of a builder, carpenter, joiner, sawyer, undertaker, turner, cooper, painter, glazier, sign painter, wooden pump maker, paperhanger, bellhanger, boat builder, clock cleaner, locks repaired and keys, fitted, repairer of umbrellas and parasols, mender of china , and glass, net knitter, wire worker, grocer, baker, farmer, stuffer and preserver of the skins of birds and insectß, copying clerk, letter writer, accountant, surveyor, engineer, land measurer, house agent, vestry clerk, assistant overseer, clerk to the' Selsey Sparrow Club, clerk to the Selsey police, assessor and collector of land tax and ppperty apd income tax, collector of church and highway rateß. Has served at sea in the four quarters of the world, as Beaman, sailroaker, cook, steward, mate and navigator." " Ijf one QQuld change himself into any anira*iMie' pleased," said a pompous young man, *•-* I think I should prefer to change myself into a donkey."—"That wouldn't be much of a change," said a satirical young lady. " Lunatic Fringe " ie the name given in New York to the fashion of cropping tihe hair and letting the ends hang down over the forehead.