CLIPPINGS.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 160, 29 January 1878, Page 3

CLIPPINGS.

.(" iEgles " in the Australasian.) Young Baddle, who was down for the New year holidays, and whose scriptural— or, indeed, any other —knowledge is not overwhelming, attentively examined an •engraving in a collins-street widow representing " Moses and a Fiery Serpent." Turning to a bystander he asked for an •elucidation of the meaning of the picture. Being correctly informed he looked suspiciously at the expounder, and remonstrated, ■" Serpent! Serpent!! Why, itfs a darned "big snake." : Talking of the switching off the heads ■of the tall poppies in the corn, an ambitious banking junior, who had been informed by reading of the dismissal of numerous heads of the Civil Service ■departments, said to me. "By Jove! Would't it be a splendid thing to dismiss nine or ten general managers ?"

By Postal card from England came to my editor the following-interesting printed information :—"The Rev. StylemanHerring,. Vicar of St. Paul's, Clerkenwell, J,pndon, has, during the, past 17 years, visited :30,000 cases among the London poor, and persuaded <6,000> -other emigrants, to makethe British colonies their Jioine; largely assisted in the 'Clerkenwell Explosion,' * Nortfafleet,' ' Co'spatrick,' iojid ' North Sea Pishing' disasters, beside"s temperance, Messrs. Moody's meetings, open-air and other philanthropic works ; and spent 12 hours eacji day in endeavouring to do good.— lslington Gazette. ,, Now, if this curious intelligence be sent by the Eev. S. Herring, it shows that he has an excellent opinion of. the Bey S. Herring, and his scriptural reading impels him not to hide his torch 'under & pint pot. I am not quite sure that it is much to brag about, to have." assisted in the Clerkenwell explosion," or the marine disasters enumerated, but of course there is the counterpoise that this worthy gentleman was there and thereabouts at the Sankey .sensations. ■

Not many thousand prices from Deniliquiri was stationed a "Irish trooper, very zealous and anxious to catch his first man. ■ Onedny, thinking that a chance oilered. lie went to the nearest magistrate's residence, but found that he was absent. After a riile of 40 mile* ho arrived stt the station of a well-known sporting J. P. and applied fora warrant. The J. P. looked seriouf, and, turning the matter over in his mind, and recollecting tliat an . honorary magistrate not long before bad had an action brought against him. and some £150 costs and damages awarded, for granting a warrant and causing an arrest upon insufficient grounds, the J.P. was cautious. He said to the trooper, '• I can't grant you a warrant —I have lent my Plunkel." The trooper returned to the township and a diiy or two afterwards, hearing that another magistrate had come back from town,' started off to get this wished-for warrant. After stating bis case, the magistrate said, " This is not a case for a warrant. I refuse to grant it." The boy in blue was struck all of a heap; but a bright idea flashed upon him. " Have you got Pluuhet, sir ?" Magistrate—" Yes." "Please then, sir, you can give me the warrant. If Mr Woolgrease hadn't lent his Plunket I would have got it long ago." Plunlcet, to this trooper's mind, being the one thing needful when warrants were wanted.

Backbloeks says that he wanted some tanksinkers lately, and invited a friend in the township to look out for a party. The friend put the following notice on a board outside his place of business.

"Wanted!!! Tank Sinkers. Apply &c, &c." Soon after a couple of sundowners stopped and studied the notice for some time. At length, said one sententiously to the other: " What the blank do they want with 111 tank sinkers on the blanked station?" Since then that estimable commission agent has foresworn the use of notes of admiration.

The national resemblance of Ah Foo to Ah Fum getshim into difficulty .sometimes. A Chinaman was on his way to a !*JTew South Wales gaol to serve a sentence of a month. The weather was hot and the journey long, and the trooper—honest fellow—called with his charge at a wayside tavern. Perhaps, under the circumstances, he absorbed more .than his fair share of the " good the gods provide." Upon looking round for his prisoner, that person had in the most inconsiderate mannerdisappeared. Here was a difficulty. But the representative of the majesty of the law was equal to the occasion. He espied a yellowskin peacefully harvesting a crop in a neighbouring field. To capture him and place him in the police-cart was no sooner thought of than carried out. And it was on]y on his discharge that that Heathen Chinee could make known that " Me no savee what for me along of lockup—one month."

The leading scenic artist of Melbourne wasinvitedto takeaticket in the Diddle'em Mechanics , Institute Lottery—l beg pardon Art Union—2,ooo tickets at £1. and the first prize- a publichouse. With professional aptitude he said that '• the drawing might be fair, but there was too much perspective about it."

Enter Dr. B—, addressing barmaid, " Ha> Miss Smith, the old prescription—a shilling's worth of whiskey and a bottlo of sodawater." The doctor imbibed half, and resumed— ■' Miss S., I cannot understand how it is that, with your figure and accomplishments, you continue to follow the occupation of a barmaid." Qnoth Miss S.. with a winning smile, " Why, doctor, what better could I desire than to wait upon yon ?" The doctor glowed with delight like a big sunflower, his pleased expansion being only checked by the young lady, still swsetly smiling, continuing,'Foryou know, dot-tor, if I sent for you, you would have to wait on me ?"