THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 160, 29 January 1878, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

"Make Ready! Present! Fire!" " Mutterings and Maudlins. ,, Another note of warning has been sounded on the heedless tympanums of you Akaroa burgesses, and, what I want to arouse you to is, not to let that warning pass unheeded. The warning note which I am exercised upon is the recent disastrous fire in Christchurch. Surely you do not sleepily suppose that your highly favoured— I almost wrote flavoured— borough is to' be always exempt from the " fiend; of fire." You know that at any moment the devastating power may be in your midst. You have homes, which, doubtless, you have worked hard to acquire ; houses which it would be difficult perhaps to replace, and yet you calmly snooze on without taking the slightest care or thought as to doing what does lie in your power toward protecting and keeping that which you have studied so diligently to obtain. lam ashamed of you, ashamed of your apathy, ashamed of your indolence, and thoroughly ashamed of your being so unanimous in following the doctrine of " putting off till to-morrow, what should be done to-day." What are we to do with them, Brother Noonan? and what are you doing, Brother Morey ? Have you two, who are, or were, the leaders in the hook and ladder brigade movement, turned lazily indifferent to what you both so strenuously advocated " in public meeting assembled ?" And " paper-cap " William, that energetic platform organizer, has he sought. the cave of Adullam," there to bury himself and his schemes ? Fie I Fie ! on all of you. In this cause you should think, aa we were taught in Aberdeen, that—

" Labor ipse voluptas" (Special translation for Cr. Quackearly.) " Labor itself is pleasure."

There isa certain amount of hallowedness about the dingy temple of justice in Akaroa, which often tempts my erratic " karkiss" to enter its portal. Do not misunderstand me, I do not allude to my involuntary visits when " the beak," with the reverse of a smile on his genial phiz, says, " You here again ; not a word from you ; five shillings and costs ;" but, to my voluntary calls, when I go to see and not, be seen, to hear and not be heard. The other day, and in my latter capacity, I entered the dingily dirty den which enshrines the majesty of the law, and found a case going on which afforded me considerable amusement, us well as "putting me up to a wrinkle" in land measurement. The disputants and litigants in this case were, 1 fancy, Frenchmen, although one of them, the defendant, by his tongue, might have been taken for an Englishman. The matter before the court seemed to be as. to the correct measurement of a certain area of land, the plaintiff stating that it measured so and so, and that he had proved this as correct by having chained it.. The defendant, in a great state of excitement, here broke in with, •' your Worship, he says he has chained it, how do you think he did it? Why, he chained it with a rope!" Shade of Sir Boyle Roche, and this from a Frenchman. "In logic and law. It is nick or be nicked ; : In gambling or trade, It is trick or be tricked." The ■" Lord of Misrule " seems to have it all his own way in the deliberations (?) of the august councillors comprising the Akaroa Borough Council. Disorder is in and with the majority. The different scenes that occurred at the last meeting must have been disgraceful in the extreme —more " mixed and cut up " than either I or " Venus " —no respect paid to his Worship or his rulings; ■ and, in my opinion, no respect paid to.themselves. Where were the old members of the Council during these ebullitions of discord was you doing, Normanby ? Surely you did not countenance the violation of the rules of law, order, decency, courtesy, and respect to your presiding officer. Did you, and could you, sit there and calmly look on at such exhibitions without pouring " ile " on the turbulence, or expostulating on the unseemly displays made and language uttered ? If you did, " Markiss," then am I astonished at you. Screech, clear boy, what has got into your " uppers "? Oe gave you credit for having a solid " understanding ; " for being temperate in "awl " things—for wishing solely to expedite and properly carry on the business of the borough, arid yet we find you among the ranks of disorder. "An you love me," Screech, " patch 'em up " a bit; don't rush into disorder and disorganisation. You know the old adage of a " stitch in time ;" now is the time to take that stitch by returning to the paths of quiet order, and by assisting in conducting public business in the way in which it should bft carried on, making it creditable alike to yourselves and those yon represent. Surely, gentlemen, there are enough among you to set an example of order; if you steadily put your faces against the recurrence of such scenes as have occurred, believe me you can silence the rowdy elements. lam truly sorry for the Town Clerk's position. Talk about curs over- a bone—why the most mongrel oi curs could not have growled and fought more over their food than did some of the councillors over the genial discoverer of '"incidents." Never mind, nurse, think .this of some of the haranguers.—-

" For what he uttered under heaven None else could understand ; They found him garrulously given, A babbler in the land."' . Among the many who prepared for the arrival of Bishop .Redwood and Father Hennebery was a well-known hotel-keeper of Akaroa. His preparations consisted in - laying in a stoqk of poultry and other £ood things in the way of eatables,' making sure that, as he was .one of the fold;, he was bound to receive the patronage of his spiritual pastors. Our dispenser of liquids and solids founi out, however, that "he had counted his chickens before they were hatched," for those for whose comfort he had been catering, in anticipation, passed his establishment by, and took their provender from an heretical outsider. This kind of treatment very naturally made Mr Wine and Beer very irate j in fact, so much so, that '* passion bleached his features ;" he was not going to stand that sort of thing, so went off to one of the lights of the synagogue to know, why himself and his hostelry had been thrown overboard, and his place, by ri<rht, given to an " alien who knew not Israel*" The elder, knowing that " a soft answer turneth away wrath," said—" don't get crankie, old man, you know that Father Hennebery will not go to a house where intoxicantsare sold, and you know the sale of these tipples is part of your trade." "Quite true," said Publichouse, "but why the deuce did not Father Hennebery, swim from Lyttelton, for don't they sell liquors on board the Akaroa ; why does he not carry out his ideas to their fullest extent?" That question was too hard a nut for that elder to crack, and he " guv it up." " Show me one that has it in his power To act consistent with himself an hour." Adieu.