WAY SIDE NOTES.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 132, 23 October 1877, Page 2

WAY SIDE NOTES.

[by an occasional contbibutor.J

For the last few days certain portions of our way-side have been unsafe. The portions alluded to'are on either side of the bridge immediately adjacent to Victoria House, and the residence of the singing councillor, where, in reckless disregard to human life and limbs, two fearful pits have been excavated, and left uncovered, both day and night. On enquiry as to the why and wherefore of these chasms, I am informed that they have something to do with an arbitration case, at present sub judice, between the Borough Council and certain contractors. The information is as vague as the arbitration case itself! Can it be that the judgment of the arbitrators will be the burying alive of the Borough Council, or their opponents? , Ah! demoniac thought! It is a fearful scheme of vengeance—the arbitrators themselves* perhaps, are to be herein engulfed, should their decision he adverse to the civicpowers ! Or, are they prospecting for gold, wherewith to pay the expenses of the case ? Or is the wisdom on either side so deep, that it has to be dug for ? Or, whatever it is, why should the public be imperilled because of a Borough arbitration case, and whose duty is it to see that those pitfalls and "obstructions" do not exist in our streets ? Wagstaff, where art thou?

Stirred up by the amusing and pithy remarks of "Sundowner," the way-side advertising dealer in produce, &c, has walked , his chalks over every available inch'of the , f ructile blackboard in question. .The item that.strikes orie triost is, '• Boxen for sale/ . It. will be>emeinbered that in olden times • the mantles of Prophets, Seers, -Ac, - (which, by-the-by must have been manufactured olfar sterner stuff than now-a-days)j descended' to their successors in office, who, By virtue of tl»e mantle; in . turn acquired prophetic and' - divining powers. Is it too much to apply -the idea " to theae " boxes " (for we all know what boxes are meant, are they not even those on which mighty srhemes have beten schemed, and many a gigantic project planned) ? What'value enn be placed on them? ''For. sale;" forsooth! Are they, not beyond*the purses of these.humble burgesses ? Who shall say what reflected glory by boxologically acquired thinking, plotting, and scheming powers may not appertain aitei'Wards to the fortunate and * „ wealthy purchaser, could such a one ,bY found ? rlbwever. that blackboard is a clever way-side note, wondrous clevkk. >' lam reminded of a story to this effect:— ■ "A Sabbath-school teacher asked of his scholars, ' what is solitude , ? To him answers readily a small boy, ' a store that • don't advertise.'" Verily, that little one readeth the newspapers, likewise, inarketh and understandeth.

Here is a way-side that is fearfully and ... awefully suggestive—right in our midst— yet we sleep comfortably, and the Akaroa Mail, which is printed just opposite, appears out of mourning. Fancy, a gravestone carver's workshop ne*t to a '• Medi- : - cal Hall I" " How convenient, too, for both the proprietors. For instance, the assistant to Professor Nostrum, administers-. •.- arsenic in mistake for magnesia, all he hat to do is to step round the corner to Old Chi eel, with the remark— ; " Another job for you, old man," and preparations are 'made forthwith. Besides, the opportunities for: '■ collusion—say 20 per .cent, on ordered . tombstones! Oh! horror!