THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 128, 9 October 1877, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

" Water, pure water, for me, for me, Tis the drink of the wise, and the wine of the free." <■ Midnight Revelries." —A Dirge.

Aquapura! Do you know, Councillors Waeckerle, that is what we call bad potheen in classical Irish. You are right, my dear Councillor, it is not the kind of balmy stimulant that we affect; we know better; our.throttles are not to be deceived; not if we know anything about it, and we do know a drain or two, I flatter myself. This, however, has nothing to do with " the subject matter on hand." Somehow, or other, whenever liquid is my topic, I wander aimlessly, and get more obtuse, befogged, and incomprehensible, than usual. Bad am I at the best of times, but a great deal worse at others, especially so after

abluting in flowing fluid. In my vagrant way, I have been maundering about, and along, the banks of some of the streams, whose limpid waters, add so much to the many natural beauties of Akaroa, aswell as aiding in other ways to the cleanliness and comfort of its inhabitants. During these lounges, 1 have been somewhat disgusted at observing, that no attempts are made to keep the waters of these streams as pure as possible ; that no one seems to care how much pollution, tilth, and rubbish, is thrown, or drains, into, them ; that decomposed matter does find its way into the water, to an injurious extent, many of the inhabitants know better than I do, and yet they sleep on placidly, saying nothing, nor attempting in any way to put a stop to that, which is hurtful to health, and detrimental to the interests of the borough. If Akaroa is to keep its good name as asanitorium, then the sooner •• dull sloth " on this subject gets '; shook off" the better forallof you. Try and think, as I think, councillors, but do more than think, take active measures to cleanse, and keep clean, the waters that flow through your borough. A seldom-read author wrote that:—

" Cleanliness is the first mark of politeness ; it is agreeable to others, and is a very pleasant sensation to ourselves."

How easy we find it to fall into a blunder, and how ludicrous we sometimes make ourselves appear through, what may be, perhaps, a very simple mistake. On the occasion of the recent visit of His Lordship the Primate, to the Peninsula, it was thought necessary by the members of a church vestry, to send an embassy to Pigeon Bay, to there receive, and duly escort to his destination, that venerabie dignitary. The ambassador, deputed to undertake this honorable embassy, was a skilful diplomatist, one learned in the subtleties of law ; a stickler for forms, and their due observance; a teacher of youth, and by suavity of manner, excellently adapted to do the duties*, of his honorary office, skilfully and well. The morn arrived, and " Solomon in all his glory " started on his errand of welcome, in due course arriving, in an undamaged state, at Pigeon Bay. Espying a clerical looking gentleman busily engaged, among some luggage, the embassy concluded he had "spotted his man," so, advancing, with graceful mien, and dignity of deportment, he thus saluted the black coat on the stooping clergyman's back :—" How d'ye do, my Lord ?" Oh, agony unutterable ! The stooping cleric raised himself, and with a withering look exclaimed— " Your Lord is on the steamer." That ambassador took another track, he left sorrowfully, for, in his ignorance, he had " bailed up" a Roman Catholic Priest, instead of the Primate of the Episcopalian Church.

" He speaks home ; You may relish him more in the Soldier, Than in the Scholar."

Another case of "blustering Boreas;" "coming in like a Lion and going out like a Lamb ;"' " much cry arid little wool," as the monkey is said to have remarked," when engaged in a tonsorial operation. The cannon's roar turns out to have been only the phizzing of a damp squib, in the hands of those who undertook the establishment of a hook and ladder corps in your borough. What a shame to let such a useful movement die, or, worse, never call it properly into existence. Inspector Noonan, I blush for you—as much as I can, with Hooper and Co.'s assistance. Do, gentlemen burgesses, for your property's sake * for— what should weigh with you stronger than any other consideration—the sake of those depending upon you, take up this .movement again, stick to it, and carry it to a successful issue. You can do it. You have the class of men to do the work if they have the proper officers, and organisers, appointed to command them, as well as to arrange matters of detail. Never say impossible ! Make what may seem to some tin impossibility a simple possibility. If, instead of being, as I am, one of Falstaff's ragged regiment, I was one of the i local Artiiiery corps, I would ask Captain 1 C.W.B. to "take a hand" in this "little game." I have that opinion of him, as a good citizen, that I think he would ; and, it he did, you would have a zealous officer; as well as one who would induce others to co-operate with, or under him as the case may be. You cannot eipect the Borough Council to help you, unless you take the initiative by doing, your utmost to help yourselves. Go iv like mea ! Don't hang lire. "It so falls out That what we have we prize not to the worth Whiles we enjoy it; but being lack'd and lost, Why then we rack the value ; then we find The virtue that possession would not show v s Whiles it was ours."' You, of Akaroa. have an association in your midst that I would be proud of honoring with my patronage, only I am afraid, if they knew that I was myself, they would not admit me, and, if they did, they would very soon remedy their error by kicking rne'out. I published my references, as to respectability, some time since, but the Mutual Improvement—that is the association —would have none of me. Believing, as I do, thoroughly in the good that institutions such as this can effect, in any community, I was delighted to read of the success which attended their first anniversary celebration, and hope to hear, again and again, of their progressive doings. If the inhabitants of Akaroa, do not raise the standard of the their mental acquirements, it is their own faults; you have .an excellent Library ; the association I write of; the occasional pleasure of hearing, and learning from, some tolerably good readers and writers—songsters too, eh, Brother Economy ?—beside the Masonic, Odd Fellow and Good Templar organizations, where men and brethren " meet together for the feast of reason," and interchange of thought and speech.

One thing in connection with this catalogue of aids toward mental improvement I am sorry to read of, and that is, the miserable support accorded by you to tbe Literary Institute. I cannot blush for you, gentlemen —I have done that previously for another gentleman —but I am thorougly ashamed of you. Wipe out this stigma 1 Ah me. " I'm wearin' awa', Like snaw-wreaths in thaw, I'm wearin' awa' To the land o' the leal: There's nae sorrow there, There's neither cauld nor care, The day is aye i.air In the laud of the leal."