NOMINATED CANDIDATES AND THEIR VIEWS.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 120, 11 September 1877, Page 2

NOMINATED CANDIDATES AND THEIR VIEWS.

+ (By our Spiritual Reporter.) A meeting was held at the Town Small, Sleepy Hollow, for the purpose of allowing the burgesses of that somnolent locality an opportunity of hearing the various candidates to municipal honours severally and respectively state their views on the affairs of the borough. The Buliringer was unanimously voted to the chair. The Chairman briefly stated the object for which the meeting had been called, and then called on the candidates, who were looking decidedly uncomfortable, one or two being seated" on thorns, another in the horns' of a dilemma, a third on tfenter hooks, and the rest oscilating between two stools, to address the meeting. Mr Smackearly, who was received with cheers, feaid he had never felt so bothered in all his life. He would briefly sum up his intended line of action, if elected, in the words of " square-dealing." That was a straightforward course to pursue, and one that was bound to carry weight with the burgesses. " Act on the square" was his motto. He had himself seen some who were present that evening "on the square." Some of them had been " run in " for it, but that was irrelevant. Mr Hardware Grenadine Bodkins, who appeared slightly nervous, in referring to past services in connection with the Borough, wished the meeting to disabuse their minds of any preconceived idea that he or his box had been of the slightest use to them. Let the past be buried. _ He desired to go now on present merit. His motto was "Concentration, Centrality, and P. 8.." meaning Public Buildings. He might justly lay claim to having found the centre of the town. It had cost him hours of infinite labour, but by the aid of a powerful microscope, a pair of compasses, a foot-rule, and the Borough map, he had successfully and irrefutably found the exact centre oii the town. If he was incorrect, in his calculations, he would take up his box and walk. On this head he claimed their votes and suffrages. Mr Anan thought there was little use his saying much. They all knew him and what he had done. His works stood for themselves, and others stood in them. They were always highly spoken of. Mr Shakestaff was heard to murmur something about Normanby, whisky hot, doorsteps, and Public Baths. Mr Cullp.m was sure the meeting would endorse his sentiment "independent action." For the last twelve months his actions had been marked with an independency, except in the matter of Lollies street, that was conspicuous by their absence from public records. , Professor Shavequick was somewhat diffident in approaching the meeting without any well-defined mode of actino'

like the others. If he had a motto at all, it was " Cherry Pectoral," which was a non-expectorant. (Cries of order, hearhear, no shop, &c.) He would assure the meeting that this wonderful remedy was a sure method of raising the wind. (Cries of order, turn him out, &c.) He would sit down, ac the meeting desired it, but he maintained that for hoarseness, shortness of breath The Chairman here suppressed Professor Shavequick, who retired. Mr Bleecher craved the indulgence of the Burgesses. He could think a considerable lot, but was a bad handataspeech. His motto was "John, and judicious expenditure." It spoke for itself. . He did not believe in " square-dealing " by itself, nor did he shelter himself behind other people's doorsteps. He would not detain the meeting, but was willing to take a back seat until, an he felt sure they would, the Burgesses called him forth to a front one. Mr Screech said his sentiments were " Kip the upper handj" He believed in keeping the upper hand over the discontented factions that were always to be found in every public body. . If they elected him, he would do his best tc have his own way. Mr Patrick O'Smiley, who was received with loud acclamations of welcome, said his motto was "Reclamation." u Oi've bin axed," he went on to say, " what do I mane by reclamashun'? Now, whisht a bit an oi'll tell ye. Says oi to meself, them apal panes foreninst us have appropriated all the land reserves on the shore for municiple purposes, ses oi, then me lome of condhuct is to appropriate some more from benathe the wather, an if that's not Reclamashun, what is it at all, at all ? As for the money to pay for it, we'll borrer it, and lave it to our childhers' chilchildher to pay it back agin." (Great uproar.) Mr Smillings said his sentiment was " Economy and Venus Twist." He would like to sing a little song. (Cries of no, no, and order.) Well, he would give in to the meeting, and conclude by saying that if elected, he would take care to see that the Borongh wanted nothing from an original painting to a Chinese cracker or a clothes-peg. (Hear, hear.) Mr Smuncle would not waste the time of the meeting. If elected he would do his level best to render the Borough quite the " cheese." (Loud applause.) Mr Peddlington said he was a naturally highly-gifted individual. He ventured to assert that his facial expression was quite sufficient to check any frivolity on the part of councillors. On these grounds he was content to take his chance of election. (Sneezes, coughs, hum's and has.) Mr Wadams had watched with interest the proceedings of. the Council, and was of opinion that their circulation was too slow for such an impetuous, go-ahead, community. What they wanted was " New Blood." (Hear, hear.) Mr Alfred King stood his ground on " Consistent election and everybody else's business." His election would be consistent —with common sense. The latter portion of his motto would increase the knowledge and power of the Council. The meeting then terminated with a vote of perfect confidence in all of the candidates. Everybody's vote was promised to each of them. So there will be a close election.