THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 112, 14 August 1877, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

"Whilst all the way to Church, the pipes struck up"— Thoughts oh "Chords and Discords." " Tweedledum and Tweedledee" over again ; Wainui being to the fore in playing the leading part in that bellicosely peculiar drama. As true as I am a sundowner, I consider it more sillily ridiculous to agitate for another road district, on the Peninsula, than it is for the Akaroa burgesses to jangle over a bone which has not yet been thrown to them. The chances are, that Roao 1 Boards may shortly be snuffed out by the extended powers, which are likely to be given to the counties. What the Dickens becomes of your would-be splitting up policy then Messieurs Wainui ? Hard, isn't it, to have wasted your oratorical, rhetorical petitioning and letter writing powers, in the pursuit of a veritable myth, or rather a " will of the wisp." "Peninsula" —"I looks tovards yer, and likevise bows"—you are right in rating the members of the Akaroa and Wainui Road Board on, what must seem to everyone, a breach of duty. The action taken by the self-constituted representatives of Wainui, should have, in common courtesy to those ratepayers, received some recognition. Explanations might have been given ; statements made might have been disproved ; facts, and figures, might have been produced, proving that the agitation for a severance of the district was uncalled for, unwise, and unnecessary. To me, it appears that this was clearly the' business of the Chairman, of the Board, or some one of its members, but, apparently, " what was everyone's business was noone's," as this essential act has been completely overlooked. If this apparent slight was intentional so much the worse, as I hold it unwise to think of any persons opinions too cheaply, or to treat with contempt those who may differ from us in thought-as to what system of governance may be best for local requirements. I think the Road Board magnates might take a lesson in the art of diplomacy. " Thyself and thy belongings Are not thine own so, proper, as to waste • Thyself upon thy virtues, they on thee. Heaven doth with us as we with torches do, Not light them for themselves ; for if our virtues Did not go forth of us, 'twere all alike As if we had them not." "Competition is," we are told, "the soul of business," but this business—like way of doing business, does not appear to find favour in the eyes, and minds, of the members of the Borough Council. -I notice, that if a work requires doing, it is ordered to be done by someone or the other; no tenders are invited ,* no competition sought;: no attempt is made to, obtain offers which might get works done more cheaply. Is this acting in that spirit of economy which should be the very first consideration of every public body ? Is it right to the ratepayers, many of whom, no doubt, would be tenderers if the Councils work Avas offered for competition in an open market ? I cannot understand the apathetic indifference of the ratepayers to this and some other matters, which I may, perhaps, yet ventilate. It strikes me that the financial position of the Borough, is not over and above flourishing, so much the more reason why economy should be not only studied, but acted up to. It will be useless to dry out over the doings in the past, when the boot of taxation' pinches by and bye. "Take the bull by the horns,"jmd now is the time to do it. •■ When I consider life, 'tis all a cheat. Yet, fooled with hope, men favour .the deceit; ' v Trust on, and think to-morrow will, repay, To-morrow's falser than the former day." " One for his nob," and " orfe for the go,' just pegs us out! Does'nt it "Pegs ?" Do you know " Pegs," I scarcely understand what you are pegging at 1 Surely you cannot be in earnest when you infer that any alteration of the levels and grades, just made for the sidewalks of the Borough. WOUld " for ever afterwards destroy the re-

gularity and appearance of*its streets." Won't do " Peggy," you know it wont do. •Why neither you, nor me, Jack, are so verdant as to suppose that wooden kerbs will last " forever," or the present style of sidewalk will suit the Akaroa of the future. Oh no, I think our heads are level on that, and, for my part, I shall keep pegging away in hopes that Akaroa's future will soon require the removal of these temporary makeshifts, so that sidewalks, worthy of the name, may be permanently formed. "Pegs," "dear astute," do'tell 1 I feel anxious about " the people" of " various tastes" who "reside on the margin" of " the pathways." I am curious to know how they manage the business. I should not think that " a margin" was up to much for residential purposes, it may be so however. Peg in " Pegs," and don't tell us things by halves, or lead us poor denizens of this land of the romantic rnoa, astray with poetic imaginations or flights of fancy. You will " Pegs," wont you, dear ? •'Spur boldly on, through thick and thin? Through sense and nonsense, never, out nor in." Shade of Adonis come not near J Is'nt it enough to fetch that lover of the past, from the " shades of Hades," to this " prosaic and mundane sphere," when we read that " Venus," with a twist, is to be had in Akaroa, at 5s per lb, cash ? I fed quite sixpennorth " cut up" over such scandalous proceedings; another " ounce packet" of such depravity would burden my remembrances with a heaviness that " no tick will add to its confirmation." "He is well paid that is well satisfied I" Is he, H.B. ? Don't believe it, I don't. Even a " large bottle" of " clothes pegs" thrown in, would not, to me, *' prove of more Value than a whole packet of Steedman's Soothing Powders." how then can I fancy a Bar of Gold for ninepenee?" "It is hardly credible." | Strikes me, H. 8., that I am like the " cutup" getting somewhat mixed The novelty of your style of advertising perplexes whilst it amuses me. I do not know if it is my " nature" to " betray my folly" over such matters, but suppose it is, as I certainly do admire the novelty of your plan for drawing attention to the " goods you offer to the gods." Your efforts to make trade deserve to succeed, but how is it you bracket " cash*' and "no tick ? Do your friends memories require these terse but expressive words to be frequently jogged into them? Do they like all the parting to be done on one side, and that side yours? Eh. B? "Sly dog, B! Joey B! old JoeB!!" " Eyelids were made to droop. Cheeks were made to blush, Hair was made to curl and friz, And lips were made—oh, hush !" Adieu.