TOWN TALK, By PEEPING TOM.

Auckland Examiner, Volume 1, Issue 45, 22 October 1857, Page 3

TOWN TALK, By PEEPING TOM.

To beat the life out of a Jie is always difficult—sometimes impossible. All readers of history know that if a cat has nine lives the mensonge (or lie) historique has ninety times nine. For the benefit of Town Talkers I will fortify my statement by an illustrious example. Dr. Robertson, Scotland’s great historian, speaking of Francis the First, says :—Everybody knows how he had early transmitted an account of the rout of Pavia in a letter to his mother, delivered by Pennalosa, which contained only these words: '• Madam, all is lost except our honor.” Here we have a fable which, though quite patriarchal in point of age, gives no sign of yielding up its breath. An Edinburgh Review critic demonstrates the lie, but to kill it is another matter. “ This famous story,” quoth he, “ possesses all the authenticity appertaining unto the two sets of last dying speeches ascribed to Pitt, —' Melville, remember Jervis;’ and ' Oh I save my country, heaven!’ As genuine as either of these pathetic and sublime exclamations—from the last of which the big gimcrack erected as Pitt’s monument in Westminster Abbey had a narrow escape—is the energetic burst of Madame, tout est perdu fors I’honneur (Madam, all is lost except honor). The letter of Francis is a simple and humble composition of some length, in which a phrase containing the words tout and honneur occurs, but not one ot the other words of the sentence; and the same phrase, being neatly trimmed, inverted, amended, and detached from the context, has acquired the chivalrous emphasis which has shed such a glory round .tie name of the ‘father of letters.’” Let Examiner readers, who think the lives of a good stiff lie less numerous than I do, pay particular attention to the historic-lie example just quoted. Who knows but that the empty-chest lie, like Orator Middlemas, and the “ great because so small” public meeting he astonished by his eloquence, will go down to remotest posterity? Unless we take care, and our critics use their

Christian liberty of criticising, that John Williamson “ had an empty chest, to begin with” will take its place among the best authenticated of historical lies, and our Town Talkers actually talk themselves into a conviction that, public works can be carried on without public money or, indeed, any money.

A report that certain of “ the six” are resolved not to sit with Councilor Griffin continues matter for Town Talk. Ido not believe a word of it. My knowledge of “ the six” emboldens me to declare that their “words and performances are no kin together.” Nor am I quite persuaded that Griffin is less worthy of a seat in Council than those with whom his “ party” associated him. In point of talent he can fairly challenge comparison with any other member of the “ uneducated” six. In point of energy he is far above them. In point of straightforwardness he cannot be much below them. The late City Election has torn the mask from many an ugly face. People who fir some time past have been blowing hot aid cold with the same mouth are found out. They now stand revealed mere devilment, just as, according to Milton, his serpentine and infernal Majesty did when pricked by the spear of Ithuriel, Henceforth only gulls will believe the “ whisper of a faction ;” only gulls will credit our “ nasty nice” doublegatie play,ng Constitutionalists, who have not patriotism enough to be unpartizan,or such strength of mind as enables its possessor to keep faith with political opponents. If ever the phrase neither fish nor flesh nor good red herring applied it does so in tueir case, for what they are, or what they “ correspond” to, a Swedenborg could not find out. Many of Mr. Southwell’s supporters voted for two of this squad of Constitutional indescribables Not one vote did either of them get, or exert himself to get, for Mr. Southwell. Yes, more than fifty of tiiat candidate’s friends voted for Boylan and Dignan as well as their own man. Neither Dignan nor Biylan exerted himself to get a single vote for Southwell. They took and did not give. Reciprocity was all they wanted, but then it was Irish reciprocity. Without their assistance,or rather despite their opposition, Mr. Southwell polled 338 votes. Constitutional Town Talkers are amazed th„ t the Candidate whom Mrs. Slipslop delighteth to abuse should have been so close upon the heels of a Constitutional-party supported nominee. After the two o'clock state of the poll was known, Editor Smallfield, Bogey Burns, and others of the Rump faction, rushed up to Barracks for help. They got it. A crowd of “ free and independent” military electors soon made their way to the polling booth, as I have often seen a flock of sheep make their way to the shambles. On the nerves of Mrs Slipslop herself tremendous has been the effect. On dit that her horror of Southwell is likely to unsettle the “pair” old woman’s reason ; that when a two o’clock “ state of the poll ” showed him sixteen above Griffin and six above Matson, she took refuge from her agitated self in a bottle of “ blue ruin;” and that when put to bed on Monday night she dreamt a ghastly dream, during which she seemed much troubled in spirit and hysterically muttered some speeches, the only int'-lligible portions of which were,—“ Adventurer, villain ! Ha, ha ! He go into the Council 1 No; that cock won’t tight. Money gone. What’s that to him—the blackguard I Rascally interloper 1 I’ll claw him. Examiner I Oh, vile attempt to rob a poor woman of her bread I Insert his advertisements ? Nc, no. Expose us, will he! Sixteen votes—Griffin—murder!

The only other subject of Town Talk likely either to amuse or interest Examiner readers is Mr. Brodie, who a few days since returned from Monganui. In Saturday’s New Zealander there appeared an article purporting to have been -written by some veracious Monganuian, bijt, no doubt, concocted by Nine Pin or some other equally truthful and distinguished member of Mrs. Slipslop’s corps of literary cooks. From their article it seems that Representative Brodie, in an early stage, abandoned his most serious charges against Magistrate White; that “one by one the minor matters proved to be nil” (which means, I suppose, no matters) ; and that before the inquiry was concluded Biodie saw but too plainly that he had been made a tool of;” with much more to the same purpose. According to a letter signed “ Walter Brodie” he has dene nothing of the sort imputed to him by New Zealander scribes, whom he accuses of being still determined in attempting to make the public believe that he had not proved his charges against Mr. White before Mr. Commissioner Bell. No wonder that our Town Talkers are quite at a loss what to believe or to disbelieve of such conflicting and wholly irreconcileable statements. Mr. Brodie promises to * place the whole affair in its true light” when Mr Commissioner Bell has “ made his Report.”