Social Moods.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 421, 12 May 1904, Page 7

Social Moods.

t ■ , .0 »•* "iPr ■ ■ .. «-• ■• •• BUJSBAffP. > is more unfortunate, or jMkIl ■ l i^'"3etriioeiitial : toherhappineßß snir«fc aj id peace of mind thsn for a young and inexperienced woman to start married life with" the firm conviction that she is going to manage everything connectod with her new home —including her husband—according to' her own special ideas. It is generally such women who are conceited enough to think that they ate quite competent to train up a husband in the way he sbonld go, and it comes as a great shock to them when they find that he prefer/] to go in quite a contrary direction. A woman who starts out on her matrimonial career with the idea of managing her husband will, in nine oases out of ten, come to the conclusion in less than six months that marriage, as well as her idea, is a tailure. Out of pure love, a man will sometimes humour the whims of his wife rather than oross her,, during the first few months of their married life, But, not content with such concessions, a wife will often become more and more exacting, with the result that she quickly causes a 'little rift within the lute,' and loses whatever influence she may have wielded over her husband's lotions.

A woman can do almost anything with the man who loves her except drive him along a road he does not wish to travel. All men hate to be ruled, and no husbaHd will be, if he knows it. Any married womin, however, gifted with even a small degree sf diplomacy, may have her own way quite-as much, if not more than is good for her, -if she is only careful to defer to her husband, and never allow him to . suspect that her way is her own. The secret, of a wife's power is the same as the power behind" the throne, which never openly asserts itself.. •Take no Notice Of the advice Of married'" lady friends wh#b6ast of the manner in ■-.•■ which they rule their husbands, * and would show you how to become master as well as mistress of"' the. home. • In* the - majority of oases such women are mere nonentities in-their own households, with no power whatever over their husbands, having exhausted the latterV patience and love through wishing to have their own way at the beginning of married 'life, and are now obliged to consult their husbands* wishes on even the smallest points,; '"'- e - •■ ''■ '•' ' : j' ■'■■ •'■ A man will be master of his own home, and the woman who is truly mistress .of her household never fails toast her husband upon a. pedestal, and to insist that all in the house shall honour him as lord and master. r There, are many women who think it is fight that they" should resent - the moßt. trifling infringement of what they consider is due to them from their husband, and will say or do the most ex- . iravagant things in order to assert themselves, as they think. a matter of fact, they, =only succeed iu making themselves look ridiculous, and -will often cause a husband to resolve that if his wife will not try to harmonise her. wishes with his own. matters shall be carried out in the manner he thinks fit'.;

Don't stand on youc dignity with your husband, and insist on setting forth what you consider your eights. Deference to a husband is the drop of 0.l which keeps the wheels of domestic life running smoothly. Make up your, mind that you will ba •patient, and practice the art of forbearanoe as much aa possible during .the first two or three years of married life, while you are getting uaed toeach other. This _ is the critical paijod of married life, and I if it is passed in safety it ia generally fairly plain sailing afterwards. : • : t - Do not expect your husband to give up ',- all those pleasures which he enjoyed in hia bachelorhood days, and spend every moment he possibly can by your side. A ■ man must have his personal friends after as well as before marriage, and he will very naturally resent being asked why he wants to meet Tom, Dick, or Harry now and again, in order to spend a few hours with them. - '■'■■-■*'■.

Above all, dba't ape your rich neighbonrs, for-money which, he caanot afford to give you. Have the courage and independence to accept your life as you find it, and make the most of it. . Probably no girl ever realises her most brilliant expectations of happiness, and possibly you may never- be quite ho happy as you expected to be ;■ but you must not grieve over that; If you do, your husband will think you are reproaching him, and thus you will -render him unhappy: and miserable also. . i: r -*';w «';'■>*• 6:* £-i