SHORT STORY

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 403, 28 January 1904, Page 7

SHORT STORY

Mjy Zkrw Mbadows, out-of-work conwdienne, sat on the west end of a Hyde Parkiest Mr Joseph /allow, out: . of-wak eomedian, gat on the east end of sua same) sat. Both ftared straight before them. Somathng weighed on both their minds. '«*>D<nr screwed his head surreptiI ■ Ho.naly half round and heaved a sigh. V*_jnilijiTßto teU herl* he murmured. ,' Thara waa misery in his murmur. _/£■■*■*• began. She atfll gazed ~'<22¥** mL ffisfrcewoikedashis mind went courage-raking. 'Ztffie, all ia I; ever between oaf* Ok head flew round, aa if it had been held by elastic at full stretch. U 'Whst'F saappud her toague. Her t eyro hammered the query home and ■-. shivered his ccurage. But though his heart beat a tattoo and bis toee curled in i hii boots, he*oldly repeated: 'All is overbetween us!' She showd but little excitement. She merely ssHte | 'Ob, indeed!' and snapped her pretty ": mouth close, as though to prevent other words escaping. 'Tea,* wait on the intrepid comeduc. with ludicrous dignity, 'she qaeetton of our engagement, Una Zeffie Meadows, kas been the subject of my most earnest tttßghfß. Affrr grave I nave deemed that it mggt must come to an end/ t^ «Ob,inde/ tf d1 r Again her lips snapped. H**JEaathemable calmness pusried him, , ifcd arcusad a pang of quaint jealousy. * I am glad, Miss Meadowa,* hepuraued, mating she moat of hia five feet four, ' that you see eye to eye with me in this.' A. hroadsida from her eyes made him drop hia, «I never said so !* she observed. * But you have said nothing against it/ *I have not had time yet,' retorted Z Me. 'I have been listeaing to what you had so say. g you have quite finished. To Joseph there waa a ring of determination in the hut words that fere- - boded much j but he bent hia head to bates*

'Goon!' he said, and waved his hand theatrically, 'and kindly be as brief as possible.' »i war Thejjords suggested of the altar-steps, his cottedian instinct prompted a * gag.* He strangled against the temptation, merely shifting Mb feet and bowing Wtfly. 'Mr Jallow!' she perverted his own words. * All ie not over between us!' 'But I say it is!' ■ Surely theqLgest of words, since I have stated to the contrary !*

There was mastery in her manner. His lips pureed in a masmlnra attempt to

"A matrimonal engagement requires twointhe breaking, just ar in the making/ she went on, coolly. ' I shall make one do,' said Mr Jallow. ' I shall break the engagement V * I defy you!' EeffiVa daintily-gloved finger and thumb snapped softly. * But you can't help yourself.* "There ia no reason why I should. A judge and twelve good men and true will tslpmer 'You will me mel'

•eertainly!' «The hreach-of-prcmise court,' said Mr Jaliow, with a smile of bitter irony, *is aver Die resort of thshearUess/ •No, no,' Zeffie retorted lightly; 'it is a noble fustitntioa fogprondlng a portionlen girl with a dowry for her future husband/ •You think you'll get damages P' asked fcr Jaliow. •It is inevitable/ •But I have no.money.' Mr Jaliow was Kg 'Bhroatiiiß •You have ninety poundi in the Post j lines Bank/ I • I shall have spent it by than.' g 'You forget you gave me your bank' j book to mind for you/ . t 'Well, you have no evidence of a proi raise.' Mr Jaliow wae a wretched -■ ~F' acucian. ' Only what, about two hundred letter* and a peek provide* listen.' ' Pretty Zeffie omed airily ; •My darlingZ«r were dent, fes, lake finest gold a-ghntmg; >; Your eyes they kill, K l»d tore them BtiD, , Though they were both a-z«uinbug.

, ' Miss Meadows, you are insulting me V Mr Jaliow was writhing in agony. Z-ffie l. mercilessly pursued her «.notation : t % «*. ' * Your waist bo torn, If s no mere whim, % J TosayrdliketoesuecMit "^:?./ Fve no more time ■-■:*?* To write more rhyme, • Ifsabsurd!' cried Mr Jdb*. . •Ah! you think so, too f* saidtheim--pwtiirhahfa Zsffie. "I iif» ifs absurd of you to throw ~~ those verses in my face. They were written to pass the time, and were intended to be burned after reading.' •Burned 1' cried the actress, with a sudden change of manner. And .then, wrtt a clever imitation of /plamfafrs counsel' she continued solemnly: • Burned!—intended to be burned! ThoM-Whirs which had branded themaelvesla imperishable characters on the of my client? No, gentle■S menT have destroyed them would have been like losing a limb. And so, my lord, my fair client treasured them with I loving care. Fortunate now it is that ana did no, since tkey help to throw up m strong relief tkjfcruel and heartleea conduct of the defendant' Ziffle fiaiahtd p Ii« foresaw speeeh-witt a gravei curtsey. •Enough!' blurted out Mr Jaliow. I think Tm well out of this. Good-day!, ? * «Good-lrye.MrJ*lk>w--meetyou»gain •ttheLawOourca!' And he went east,. aid she west west. n. *WeIV eneuired Mr Vere Ponsonby,. - Hm eminent theatrical agent of Rouble Street, Strand; •apyftingnewP' I 'New!* gloomily answered Mr Joseph I; jißow, who had just entered the agenfi | offix.* I don't think anything new exut*.

The Breach -of Promise Giri

The whole world's old and grey to me.' •WhyP How now P< Zeffie Meadows.' * Ton have P Well you're a man !* ' I feel like a worm !» 'Why, did Misa Zeffie tread on yon ?' Mr Jallow groaned. •2fo/ he eaidV 'ahe took it calmly and coolly—that's why all the world seemsgrey and——' 'But, my dear boy 1'— remember the separation's only for a time. You'll make" it all up again.* The comedian rooked miserably in his chair. *•? 'l'm afraid not/ he replied in a low voice. 'She won't speak to me again. She's going to sue me for Breach!' 'la she thoughP' TheVagent paced the room in silence. «Weltf'cheer np!' he said,' joa'll be able to talk her over.' Mr Jallow moved his head ia slow doubt. ' I'm sorry I chanced it. It cost me a lotto break with her, I assure you-' 'Yesj but think wh*t it means. Ia return for breaking cfl with Misa Meadows, you're to get a contract with Hilton Grandars' Comp> -y tyg twelve mouths cettais.'

'Thafa the fanny part about it, answered the , comedian. «What's Grasders' ii.sAe'game ? Why couldn't he give me the part, even, though I was engaged to be married P* 'Can't say, my dear" boy,' was the agent's response. 'Managers get queer whims, you know, and Hilton Granders is a man with ideas of his own. 4

'Yea, I know.th&t; and I'm glad enough to get a part in his show, but it is strange that—' Mr Jallow's remarks were interrupted by the entrance of a clerk with a card. 'Well,*so lonsr, dear boy! Sorry I can't spare you a moment more. Some up next week, and I'll have tha contract ready for signing; 1 and Mr Vere Fonsonby shewed Mr Jallow out by a side-door. The agent subbed his hands together like a man who is satisfied.

A little later, a filmy figure in pink and white glided in at the other entrance. It was Zfcffia Meadows.

' Well, Miss Meadows, anything fresh ? It was the agent's stereotyped greeting. ' I've come to tell you '—there was sadness in Zeffie'e manner—' that Mr Jallow has broken off his engagement with me so I will sign that contract with Hilton Granders.'

' But the breaking of the engagement isn't enough—tha arrangement is, that you shall sue for breach of promise.' ' Well, I am going to.' 'That/sailright, then. A provisional contract will bs ready for you to sign in a day ox two.' 'I shall be here!' Z ffio said Badly. ' But, Mr Fonsonby, why is it necessary for me to take the matter into oourt P Why won't Granders give me the engagement without P When you mentioned the matter to me at first, I laughed at the idea of ever breaking with Joe—with Mr Jallow, I mean. But now he has given me up, and, as lam so much in want of work, I am ready to conform to your conditions. But why must I sue him P' *My dear young lady—the eccentricities of managers are beyond understanding. However, you are wise in agreeing. Well, good-bye and good luck 1' and Mr fere Fonsonby bowed his fair visitor out.

And then once more he rubbed Mb hands together like a man well satisfied. This time the rubbing lasted longer. in. The breach of promise action, Meadows -v. Jaliow, was duly heard. The case occupied three days, many witnesses being called on both sides. The evening papers gave the case long reports and special pesters. The evidence produced much laughter, and the reading of the defendant's letters mere. The spectators laughed, the jury laughed, and when the poem (already quoted' herein) was read aloud in court, even his -very grave and very learned lordship joined in the general hilarity. And the man-in-the-street and the manin the train, going home with his nose over a paper, chuckled or guffawed each after his kind- And the girl-in-the-street and the girl-in-the-train smiled or giggled each after her kind. Piccadilly : voted the case 'awf'ly funny, don't you know/ and Mde Snd Boad signalised its ■appreciation by the broadest of grins and an oft-repeated • swelp me.' In brief. Miss Zsffie Meadows and Mr Joseph -Jaliow had set all the town talking about 'them. That was after the first and second •days of this most interesting trial.

But the public chuckle stopped and was 'transformed into universal expressions of wonderment on the third. For the newstold, in double-column headings ■and the boldest of type, of a dramatic' •denouement. The proceedings in the •case of Meadows v. Jaliow had been suddenly stopped! The parties, counsel 'stated, had csme to an arrangement, the terms of which were detailed in his lordship's private room, and the public for 'the moment bewailed the loss of the .amusing details. But when, on the return of his lordship, IMies Z°fa3 Meadows made a wild rush -across the court and clasped Mr Joseph allow round the neck, and Mr Jaliow returned the embrace with liberal interest and indulged in an energetic series of the fondest kisses, everyone in court grasped the tone purport of the settlement. Five or ten minutes later all the newspaper world was acquainted with the fact 'that a reconciliation had been effected. -Hiw it had all been brought abont was Et.ll something of a mystery, and all the world wondered. But Mr Hilton 'Granders, sitting in Mr Vere Ponionby's 'office a day or two later, seemed mightily •pleased at the turn aff urs had taken. \r« * I tell you, my dear boy/ he said, as he iubbed his fat palms together, * I've got one of the finest schemes that was ever Btrnck on this side of the Atlantic Ocean . -or on the other side either, for the matt r •of that. How does this fetch yon P' He unrolled the proof of a theatrical poster «? he spoke, aad displayed it to Mr Ponsonbj'e admiring gaze. • 'Why. you don't mean to say ' gasped the agent * But I do ! r responded Granders, chuckling. •They're going to enact their reconciliation scene every night!' • What! just as it took place in court P' This is what the astonished agent read i

I; jgsjep hj jlllo w N WUI appear together as Plaintiff & Defendant in the New Musical .* v •".. Comedy, v • ?;•' . "THB BBEAOH OF PROMISE ./I. GIBL/>& >

'Well, there'll be some slight modifiestiomß, of course. If 11 fetch the town dear boy! We'll get crowded houses | every night! London will rush.to Beet these two, about whem the papers have i been full.' » . * Graders, you're a genius 1' ' I hope not I I want to make money. Bat its a great scheme—what P' 'Magnificentl And do you mean to say the whole thing was a planned affair P'

•Not so far as those two innocents were concerned. I offered : them an engaeement under certain conditions. The; acceded to them. I did the reßt. Well, ta-ta, dear boy! I must be off; we're rehearsing day and night, and Z'ffie and Joe threaten to be splendid. So long!' And he was off. Mr Hilton Grander s' proguoaicationa were fulfilled to the letter. The first night of ' The Breach of Promise Girl went with a bang; and when it became known that the great breach of promise scene was practically a curtailed repetition of the acual tii»l in court, London flocked to the 'Privolity.' There were record bookings for the piece, and Mr Hilton Qrandsra' banking account swelled to bureting p.,-.at. And one day he astonished the simple-minded Joseph Jaiiow by writing him a cheque which not only recouped the comedian for the expenses of the trial, but enablad him to furnish a nic? lifctie flat, whither one day he conveyed Mies Ztffie Meadowp, after a preliminary formality at a certain church in Knightsbridge.—Allan Blair