Sketcher.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 348, 8 January 1903, Page 2

Sketcher.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES. columns- of the feiwb daily journals are always matters sJ£j£ of exceeding interest to a large class of readers. Whether it be the heralding of soul-stirring bargains in the multiplex caravan-seriess -the pitiful appeals for situations desired and the mors eager calls for help wanted; whether the reference is to the sale of real estate or the disposal of a new milch cow, warranted kickless; of the shaggy dog lost and the monogram watch found; of the reward to be given—and no- "questions asked or answered —for the return of the missing flotsam or jetsam of- careless womanity; or, less frequently, but equally important, the desire of the gentleman in black with one moustache to renew the acquaintance of the lady in blue with a pink parasol and a bird in her hat, who left car on Steenth Street at 1.00 a.m. yesterday morning, with a smile on her face —all these things have an indescribable attraction to the searcher after ephemeral knowledge, as well as affording a vast field of entertainment to the casual reader. Thousands of newspapers are purchased daily for this kind of information alone, and are oagarly scanned by those who want, as well as by those, who, perchance, are wanted.

Not; all the great world, however, chooses this convenient medium of proclaiming its wares and its wants. The journalistic columns have their especial field of labour and their immense clientage of bargain hunters, but, if observant, you cannot fail to hava noticed the sundry and manifold bits of diverse information given oat to the public by tha occupants of various places of business on which the searchlight of publicity has scarcely shed the faintest glimmering of discovery. Some specialty; soma suiden cheapening of staple good?; some wonderful disclosure; some immediate want, demands an instantaneous introduction to the notice of the world. The manner and means of attracting attention and conveying information may not be the most elaborate nor erudite; the artistic display may be exceedingly feeble, but there is no mistaking the earnest intent of the informer. The grocer, the saloonist, the dealer in odds and ends of oddities, and riffraff in the dying stages of mercantile existones; the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker, all vie with one another in this inexpensive manner of soliciting your patronage. Tho orthography may be unblushingly phonetic, and the grammar rigorously governed by the rules of exceptions; the announcement may be crayon sketched on the sidewalk, daintily written on on a card, or fulsomely displayed on a square pasteboard in a window guiltless of Godliness, or painted on a board before the entrance of some infantile emporium. Brevity, not tautology, prevails, so that he who runs, be it never so nimbly, may read, mark, learn, inwardly digest, and, mayhap, purchase It is the very aftermath otV minor key advertising. Sidney Smith, of ancient memory, was walking with a friend through one of the shady sides of London when they noticed over an ale-house door a sign which read, 'Bear sold here.' The friend insisted that the spelling was incorrect, but Smith claimed that it was right because it was probably the man's own Bruin. In this manner education triumphed over illiteracy, and in the. following examples of the art of advertising you will oftimes be obliged to wrestle with your acutest intellect in order to comprehend the exact information desired to be conveyed. In front of a reatauranfc along the bybaths of a city you will sometimes observe these signs: * Oysters opened in every style.' « Warm meals at all hours and of tener if wanted. ' Dew Drop Inn. Free Lunch 5 cents.* * Are you hungry P Enter and fill a long-felt want with Beans and Coffee for ten cents.' At one place there is exhibited in a glass ease a plate containing meat, a boiled potato and cabbage, two slices of bread, a pat of butter, a cup of coffee, knife, fork, spoon and a paper napkin. A placard announce, ■ Enclose tbis for ten cents.' Often there will be rudely painted on the window a mammoth beer glass, bubbling over with frothy nothingness, and below it there will be inscribed, 'This schooner will sail for three cents. Take a trip.' Possibly there will be added, «Best glass of 5-cent whisky in town. Pour for yourself.' In some localities, where bibulous tastes are more cultivated, you will see, • Fine old Sherry, 3d p, drink.' At another place a druggist announces: ' Beat Port Wine 25 cents a quart. Better for 30 cents.' Take a box of Cur em's Pills and be happy.' 'Asiatic Ciolera squelched for fifteen cunts. Try it.' A professor of the terpsichorean art has this placard : «Monsieur Crapeau announsez that dancisg is taught to pupils male . and female est.' Tse window of a little dry goodß store contains these notices: ' Red Children's stockings.' ' Black men's leather gloves. ' Small babies hats,' ' Yellow woinens ties,' and other adjec tival monstrosities. At a clothing store is a sign, ' Hands wanted on Boys pants.' There is a long line of people besides this little merchant who have often sighed for that sort cf thing. Another one says: • Slaughter of ready made clothing. Come in and have a fit for Three ninety Eight.' On a dosr nearby is an announcement, ' Two sisters want washing,' andacross the street from this watery waste is a furrier's, with a window card which reads ' Garments made up for ladies out of their own skins.' At a store, where corsets are freely displayed, is the sign: ' Ail sorts of ladies stays hero.' In a window near by, the proprietor of the place, not evidently American bom, appeals to hia adopted countrymen thu3 tersely: ' Here much English is spoke,' At a corner grocery : ' Butter—off ul nice.' Tho proprietor > probably had the article by spells. At another little store the occupant, evidently in fear of prices of his rivals, advertises: 'Everything litre cheaper toan the cheapest' At a batber shop: 'Hair cut 10 cents. Shavijjjj without 5 As an incentive fo the custom of busy people it is added, ' Hair cut while you wait.' "In an jeweller's window, the sides of whose shop are ffillod with clocks, is a notice which roads; ' Como in, Don't huiry. There's plenty of Time.' A hardware store announces, ' Great cut in knives.' At a place wh«re sheet music is sold there are displayed these notices : 'Tee girl I love for ten cents.' ' Only a faded flower for a 'Alone I thee adore for fifteen cents.' 'When lam dead and gone for a quarter.' ' Never forget me for half a dollar.' At an establishment where old things pass away and all things become new, is the notice: ' I dye that I may live.' ;i

And so in these out; of the way places, far from the madding crowd, the busy merchant in his rude manner caters to the simple wants of his neighbourhood, the people of which know no world save the circumscribed area of a dozen blocks, where wholesaling is unknown, and retailing revels in its paucity; where want is a synonym for necessity, and petty needs in the struggling existence of these dull lives are as great £ a the wildest deBireß of opulency.