AN ESSAY'ON THE GUINEA PIG

Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2089, 16 March 1889, Page 3

AN ESSAY 'ON THE GUINEA PIG

The following smart little satlrloal slcctob we clip from a recent lisne of the " Otago Workman," Who and what the ' guinea pigs ' are, our readers will soon gUPB9 ! — Dunßdln is tho happy bunting ground of tho genus Guinea Pig. This animal'd favorlto rnuort during tho day Is Bond otrcet and It? *utroanding<j, where It hanto In aemoh of fo >d, nni retires at nlijht to tho Barr-iundiug hoighto to sleep, foe tho (Guinea Pig, is vory careful of its health, and oinnot live m fl*t Bwampy plaoeu. Tho Guinea Pig derives its name from attending at meetings of the same genus m banks, insurance offices, mining companies, etc., whore th^y adjourn to a comfortable parlour, smoke a cigar, and bave a ohat for a short time, reoolve their guinea, and wslk off to repeat this pleasant prooeii at some other Institution. Thle the guinea Pigs o*ll business, and very lucrative it li, m it ia said that one ancient Pig, who is not supposed to be endowed with an unusual amount of brains, realises tome four or five hundred guineas per annum by nmoklng a cigarette for a short time nt each office. These banks, Insurances offices, mining companies, syndicates, etc, not only furnish food for the old Guinea Pig, but the young males of tho speoles are alco brought up to look upon theße institutions as their own particular and proper feeding ground, and where the Intrusion of a young male of a lower spades, which they call the Working Class, would be looked upon nan oh In the mmc way as if a young rabbit was to Intrude itself Amongst com? youog foxes at pUy. The young main Pig does not feed where it will dirty Us ooat. It Is very oareful to be always very clean, and be ableto meet the female of the speotei, and ploy with them at their gamea The harder and dirtier work is done by the males of the working speoles. who humbly furnish tbe funds of the institutions whloh keep the Guinea P'gs both old and young. They are to be found m all Urge oentres of population, bat Id proportion to its s'ze, I- know no plac* where this Intelligent animal thrives ao well as Id Cuoedin.— F.W.