MELBOURNE TOWN TALK.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 1911, 6 August 1888, Page 3

MELBOURNE TOWN TALK.

(from our own corrbsfondbnt.)

Exhibition v. London Gaiely Co.— and the Gaiety wine, as horsey men say — " m a common canter."' Why I draw the parallel is because seats to both functions were thrown open last week, and whereas there was a rush almost unprecedented as regards the burlesque, things went off much much more quietly m regard to booking seatß for the Exhibition. The Gaiety rush was oaused by the change of piece, •• Monte Christo Jr," being replaced by "Miss Esmeralda." A friend who was present at the battle of the seats described it to me as being •• simply disgraceful," the scrambling and pushing was so Bevere that actually women fainted, and limp and clinging had to be dragged out of the crush; It is almost incredible that such things should take place, but I oan assure my readers the faots aro true. Strong men jostled the few ladies who ventured there ; hats were crushed, coat-sleeves torn, bonnets destroyed, and dresses nearly dragged off the wearera' backs. The men smashed the brass rails and woodwork m front of the- ticketoffice, and broke the oh airs m their endeavours to reach over the orowd m front. Suoh a scene has never been witnessed m Melbourne before, and m all senses of tho word it was truly disgraceful. The sale of the Exhibition seats on the contrary went off quietly enough. There wbb no rush, and hardly any exoitement over tho matter. Still the seats went off, and the management declares itself well content. There is a feeling of disappointment m the public mind with regard to the opening day, whioh I think has had some effect m interfering with the eale of the Beats. The fearful oondition of unpreparednees is the principal thing. People object to spend a guinea unless they get a quid pro quo, and reßent their being called upon to pay bo heavily for a letise. By-the-way, the model dairy there has been bo much talk about has bocome rather a joke among the frequenters of the building. They have painted it sky-blue— and this has been laughingly taken as a Bign and a token. It was a witty M.P. who first set the ball a-rolling. " Good heavenß !" he exclaimed m mook dismay, referring to its color. " I never for a moment dreamed it was milk of that kind one got oat of a model dairy." Aprojws of the Exhibition I might as well i tell a story, whioh comes to me through a third party. There is a well-known musioian here, Signor Alberto Zelman, who has lived m Melbourne any number of years, and is oonduotor and leader of the Lord knows how many musical sooieties. He is as well-known a figure as any m town, but nobody ever suspeoted him of being a wit before. However, it would seem that he is, He waß talking to Mr Curtis, tho secretary of tho Ath6nccum, and happened to remark that Mr F. Cowen had brought out with him enough mußio to give something fresh every week for cix years instead of six months. "He has brought out among other things," added Signor Zelman, " all the orchestral parts of Mozart's Requiem." Mr Curtis expressed surprise at this, and remarked, " surely they won't give the Requiem at the Exhibition ;" " Oh, yea they will." answered Zelman patly, "for the benefit of the dead heads, you know."

And now I come to think of it, this is not ' the first time Signor Zelman has aoted the humorist. The big music-shops m Collins street are the centres around which all the musicians of the city ciroulate, and any day one can see detached groups of them standing at the doors or m the shops. " Allan's "is one of the best known, and & favorite haunt of tho oraft. So much so indeed, that Mr Allan had to issue orders that no one should be allowed to smoke inside the saored preoinots of his establishment— musioians aa a rule indulging m unlimited cigarettes. He .had a notice to that effect put up, and lay m wait for transgresßora. Now the first one who happened to walk m was Mr Zelman, cigarette m mouth. He is a little man always untidy and not over clean m appearance. "Mr Zelman, don't you see that notioe?" thundered Allan angrily, pointing to the plaoard. •• You see that, don't you ? Gentlemen are requested not to smoke m the shop } but you seem to take no notice of it." " Gentlemen's requested— net smoke," repeated little Zelman with his foreign drawl. "Ah ! But then " — Budden relief dawning over his f aCQ _«« You no know I am no gentlemans." Do you know what a " scalliwag" is ? and if not, have you ever heard of a "joey." I never had myself until I heard the expres* eions m the House last week. It seems that these terms typify the youths of the back streets and byways, who devote their spare time to the collection of rags, bottles, bones, etc, and sell them to the marine-store dealers. I have, however, long known what a plague they are m Melbourne. The baok yards of poaoeful citizens are ransaoked m open day, and their hen-roosts stripped at night by theso nomadic ■ tribes of young

rapsoallions, from whose ranks the prisons of the oolony are daily recruited. Now they are to be numbered and licensed like cabmen, and suoh restrictions plaoed upon them as will tend to put a stop to pilfering and thieving; I heartily rejoioe at this, for only last night one of these " soalliwags" stole both mat and uoraper from my humble dwelling—and if they have no respect for a pres.sm.aa, what can be expected of then?