BEER AND ITS RESULTS

Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 1830, 2 May 1888, Page 3

BEER AND ITS RESULTS

Vonoo übon a midnight dreary, I vaa feeling mad and beery, So I veut indo a saloon vere I'd often peen pefore, Und I cad town py der dable, Drinking long aB I vaa able, Den I smoked till I vaa sleepy, und I soon pegan to snore : 'Dwas der beer, und noding more. Und I dreamed dot I vaa soper (Id vas m dor gold Ogdobor), Und I saw a silfer dollar m dur eavrdaat on der fhor ; I had tried all day to porrow Fifty cents, but to my sorrow Dhey all said : " I vill to-morrow — 1 half lend you some pefore. And you baid me nefermore " Ucd der peer I had peen drinking. Sed me quickly dheo to dhlnking Of I dake dot dollar I can get my bants from Nlcoll'b ahdore, Und I'll pay my gal ao domy Half a bound of nice Bologne— Dhen I reach do dake der dollar, nud I'll pet you dot I awore — 'Owasßome shplt, and noding more. Breßaatly my head felt ahdronger, Und I dought I'll sday no longer ; So I bicked myself ub slowly, and I Bdharded for der door ; But der adhilhneES soon vaa broken, By Eorne vords quite loutly shpoken ! "Vhere'a der money for dot lager, dat you In your mout did pour 1 ' Merely dot und noding more. Pack Indo der saloon durning, All der peer mltin me puraing, Soon I heard me dot same gweßdion, scmev bat louder dhan pefore. " Veil," I said, « I dhought you trusted Vhen der bocketpook vaa puated." Dhen he grabbed me py my goat tails, und my becketa did exblore ; Found some Bheese, nnd noding more, Dhen he valked oud do der gutter, Und pegun to ahvear and mutter, Vhen In ahdepped a pig bolloemana who belonged to Shdationa Four, Und he nofer aaid " Oxcuae me," But peptan to glck and pru.sa me, Dhen ho berched übon my gollar, und he gleked dill I vaa sore — Berohed undgicked, undnodlngmore. Und he looked so habby ahmlllng, All dor vhtlo dhat he vas blling On my noae his fiats und pood-heels, till It soon vas red mid gore ; I pegun to feel guide sickly ; Dhen he Eaid, " Now dell megwlckly Vhat your name is at der shdatlon-houae, vhere you haf poeu pefore !" " Shnlggolfritz !" I loud did roar. " V-h-i-t I" he [shouted,- " dell me, Crafen, Vas you efer In New Hafen 1 Vonce I lofed a leetle Deitch gal, und dot vas der name she bore} Und she run off mlt a feller A gaeLli'r ln an oyster-cellar, Und ddey say she's In New Hafen, In a nldedy-nlne eend ahdore." Dhen I aaid : " Veil— nefermore." " Her front name vas Katbrina ; Doll me, Crafen, have you seen her ? Py der lugor-peer und-pretzols, und hor shock we poth adore — For my heart is almont.proken Vhen I hear hor shvoet name sboken Tell mo gwickly of you know hor, or your plocd I will oudboor V " Nix. Veil, hardly efermore." Dhen he said : " You aro a liar, Und you gwickly vill exbiro Of you don't get oul dhis saloon vhile I'm gounting dwondy-four." Do der sidevalk I vas greeping Vhen I tvoko up vrom my ehloeping Und I saw no pig bolicoraans dhore do gick mo oud der door — 'D was der nightmare, noding more. — "Catholio Time a."