MR SMITH'S ITEM.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume V, Issue 1563, 20 May 1887, Page 2

MR SMITH'S ITEM.

Ho oamo into tho office, and drawing a chair up closo to a reporter's table, ho said to tho reporter : " Take a bit of paper and I'll give you an item." When tho reporter was ready the visitor began :— " Yesterday afternoon Mra Smith— my wif9,.you know— and my daughter drove out with my boy mare for a little ride. Jenny was driving the mare, coming down from Airy to the Wießadiokon, when just below the crest of the hill, she kicked eff one of her shoeß," " Jenny did ?" " No, the mare. Mrs Smith, however, concluded to go on, as the roads were «oft and tho more quiet ; bo Jenny let her proceed blowlv down the hill." »<Lefc Mrs Smith or the mare ?" " The mare, of course. A few minutes later, however, while Jenny was stopping to pick Borne ferns for her mother, a fly oonr n something bit her on the nose." "Upon Jenny's nose or her mother's ?" " No, no I the mare's nose ; bit the mare upon the noae, and Jenny had hardly time to get baok into the carriage before she began to rear and plunge m a most alarming manner." "JNot Jenny V "Oh, pahawt tho animal, tho mare. Mrs Smith, of course, was very much frightened, for the mare soomed really excited, and she bogan to scream violently, and to try to get out of tho back of tho carriugo." " The mare did?" "Mrs Smith. But Jenny told her aho could manage the mare if she would sit still." " If the mare would sit 1" « If her mothor would sit still. But jasfc then a buckle broke, and Jenny was unable to prevent) the mare from dashing down the hillat a frightful pace. When they catno to a bridge over the creek, Mrs Smith was ovejjoyed to obsorve tho mare come to a dead Btop ; ' but, unhappily, the next moment a fit of blind staggers struck her and——" " Struck Mrs Smith, or the——" ''Don't yon under* stand) -at rack the mare j and before Jenny could comprehend the situation, sho reeled about upon tbe bridge In an uncertain jway, while Mrs Smith wai completely unnerved and without self* control, and tho next moment she turned an entire somersault over the side of the bridge into the water." "Are yton referring now to Mrs Smith, or to Jenny, or the marc?" " Why, the raarel Of coarse sho dragged the carriage In with her, and Mra Smith and Jenny m it. All three Bank to the bottom, but.the mare almost immediately struck out for shore, and Jenny clasped her by the tail. As they swam pait Mrs Smith clutohod at her dress " "Not the mare's dress?" "At Jenny's dress, and this forced to lose Ler hold upon tho tail. " " I thought you said Jonny had hold of the tall; not Mn Smith?' "So I did. Mrs Smith had hold of the — the — I mean, yes, Jenny had ho^d of the maro's tail, and Mrs Smith had hold of her dress," " Whose drejo.— Jenny's V fYon know very well what I mean. Mrs Smith held on to Jenny and Jenny to the mare, but Mrt Smith pulled her loose, unintentionally, of course, and aa the mare swam off Mr« Smith said to her " "To the mare?" 11 You think you're Bmwt now, don't yoa ? Yon know well enough J mean Jonny. Tv^ gp,t a potfon to punch your head for yog, you scoundrel." " Whaf; did you say that for T "I came m here/ ealdJMt Smith fiercely, " to give you a first rate Item, and I wos going to toll you what Mrs Smith Bald about the mare being dragged from the water, and how she turned eomeriaalti all the way home; but hanged if I'll do It now,' 1 The reporter rose slowly, and elevating • chair to ward off the missile, he calmly intiulred—•' What object had Mrs Smith In turning someraaulta all the way home!" The people, who brw Mr Smith oo me down* stairs and emerga from the front door, gay he looked as white as if he had teen ft ghoat.— « Danbuty News.'