ITEMS FROM OUR EXCHANGES

Ashburton Guardian, Volume V, Issue 1364, 7 October 1886, Page 2

ITEMS FROM OUR EXCHANGES

A TL’N>KL STORY. Passengers on the Wairarapa line (says the Wanganui Herald) generally complain of the Rimutaka tunnels, bat one of the travol'ere on Saturday evening held a different opinion; He was a young man ali the way from Christchurch who was wending his way towards Woodville accompanied by his newly-wedded bride. The sea voyage had created a disagreeable hiatus in the honeymoon, and “spoons”' undismayed by the flavor of mal de more accepted the opportunity of th» first tunnel on the hill to imprint a doz-n kisses on the lips of his fair young paitner. They were still hugging and mugging when the train suddenly emerged into daylight, and the couple blushed crimson when their ears met the boisterous laughter of their fellow passengers. “ Disagreeable things tunnels are ?” suggested the son of a Wellington confectioner, offering Benedict a few omversation lollies. “ Just a trifle too short ” was the reply, and there was another roar from the passengers.Jß a Canadi an scandal.

The Ameliaut correspondent of the Dunedin Evening Star writes:—A story comes across the border that implicates certain members of the Dominion Cabinet in a most disgraceful scandal. The story told, is that the Kxcutive Department in Ottawa Is a centre of systematic immora'lty, and is made such by the chiefs, wf.o have tilled up the ranks of employees with women cboe n more for their physical ohtrmi and easy virtue than for their clerical qualifications. The allegations are male openly by at least one pfominent Canadian politician, and are corrobon'ed by Ottawa newspapers of good standing The story in its details is horribly filthy and if true should lesult in a comp ete revolution in political affiira and the summary punishment of the- offending officials. If fa'se, Its invention and circulation are an outrage against the Ministry of Canada and of common decency. Whether it ba true or false, it indicates that Government matters in Ottawa are rotten. The Canadian people owe it to themselves that the affair should be probed to the bottom.

TE WHITI-ISM. Somewhat disheartening accounts were given hy some of the Maori missionaries who attended the recent session of the - v elllnginn Diocesan Synod (says the Poverty Bay Herald) of the deplorable extent to which Te Whitl’a Influence still prevails among the natives of the West Coast of this island. One European missionary to the Maor's stated that his proffered ministr Uiona were in some cases received with open scorn and contempt, the idea, that “ Pakeha ” preaching or praying cotrtd be of any value being rejected with the utmost derision. One missionary expressed the opinion that “Te Wbitilsm was worse than Hauhauism," and said that a very bitter prevailed since the last disturbance, on the charge of inciting which Te Whitl has now been senticed. STAGE v PULPIT. An American actor named Harrison has amused himself during the past two seasons by keeping an exceedingly alert eye upon the clergy. He has a sears of scrap b oks in which are pasted the records of every indiscretion of a clergyman la any part of the country. Whenever a minister indulges in one of the timehonored and once popular tirades against the morality of the ttige, Mr Harrison takes his scrap books out from the bottom of his trunk, and answers him in a letter that is stocked with facts, names, dates, and cutting references. A number of clergyman are at present in gaol, and their offence?, fog t .or wtb all details of t ie r c i-nos, usually lend such weight to the letter that efhctaall/ silences the minister. This is a peculiar form of sport, but Mr Harrison says it is unqualifiedly entertaining.

HOARDING.THE BLUE

A few yeara age a temperance advocate visited Napier and held nightly meetings for the conversion of all comers. One day a master at the dl -trict school heard a distu banco In one of the claaes, and a youngster complained that he hid been pricked by the next boy while trying ti pin a piece of blue riobon to his coat. “ Where did you get that ribbon frem?” demanded tha teaeher. “ Please sir I have been to the meetings.” “ How many ribbons have you go? ? ’ The boy pulled out of hie pocket no leas than thirteen, and explained that at every meeting he had received one when he went up wth others at an invitation of the lecturer The b>y has not been wearing a blue ribbon since, but perhaps he may get his stock renewed now that Mr Burnet; is here.

DERMATINB A new substance has been patented □nder the name of Dermatlne. It is intended to be a substitute for leather, lndiarubber, Ac, la nearly all the cirenm s'anoes where those substances are now used. Deiimtina is claimed to stand more friction than either leather or indiarubber, that it is not ailec'ed by ch mges of temperature, climate, or moisture, that neither oil nor the strongest-acids have any Inflation upon It. Darmatiue belting is being maunfactured for agricultural machinery, dredging, and all outdoor work, on account of its withstanding changer of temperature and moisture. A London Company has been formed to work the patent. A SLEPY HOLLOW. A a old account (says sn English exchange) is given of a village within eeven miles of Plymouth, England, with a population of nearly a thusand. Newspapers are not delivered till thirty-four hours after they are printed, and the delivery of litters is of a very meagre kind. This ob'iges the inhabitants to resort to all sorts of shifts to obtsin “a bit of news.” Interesting items are scribbled on pieces rf paper by those who travel from Plymouth to Yoalmpton, and these are pushed under the doors of leading inhabitants, who communicate the contents to their neighbors. The vicar, who receive* £489 a year, has long been pracfcally past active work, and was not particularly active when he had health and strength. Services are conducted in a fashion on Sunday mornings and afternoons, yet they are of such a kind that few beyond the vicar’s householders attend. The vicar knows so little of his parishioners that quite recently he directed that s me oiothing should be sent from a local charity to a man whom he had burled four years ago. LAUGHIYG IN THE POLPIT. Said Mr C , a Presbyterian minister of some notoriety “I never laughed in the pulpit but on one occasion, and that came near procuring my dismissal from the ministry. About one of the first discourses that I was called to deliver, subsequent to my ordination, after reading my text and opening ray subject, my attention was directed to a young man with a very foppish dress and a head of exceedingly red hair In a p>w, immediately behind this young gentleman, sat an urchin, who must have beeu urged on his devilry by the evil one himself, fpr I do not conceive the youngster thought of the jest he was playing tfi on the spruce dandy in ftont of him. Tae boy held his forefinger towards the hair of the young man about as long as a blacksmith would hold a wire rod in the fi'e, then placed it on his knee, and commenced pounding his finger, in imlta’ion ■f a smith pounding a nail. The whole thing was so ludicrous that I laughed ; the only time I disgraced the pulpit with anything like mirth.”