Extracts.

Auckland Chronicle and New Zealand Colonist, Volume 2, Issue 15, 15 November 1843, Page 4

Extracts.

A Plain and Easy Method to Tind the Time of High'Watek.—Take a cheap lodging in a oeller in Ra'clirTe highway. When the rats run out of their holes and over your bed, iheu the tide is rising ; hot when the floundt-rs get into your pillow case, and the bed is gently floated ap till your nose touches the ceiling, then it is Mgh water. On the other hand it is low water you cannot afford to pay your rent, and it is 2ien advisable to ebb yourself.-— lbid.

Nursery Directions for Jan.— Transplant beds for sucklings, if requisite, to make room for holiday olive brunches. .Sew buttons on shirts for the vacation. Graft slips and ofl'cuts on damaged frocks, and prime elder sisters' pelisse* into little girls' cloak*. Prepare hotbeds for coir • caught at snowballing or tumbling through the ice. Cut sprigs of birch an-.i ling up for., future use. plant suckers or hardbake and cuttings of TelfihCake in nurses' cupboards.

The jEsiial Steam-carriage.-Ji is understood tint the "fir-a line to be established i» ! that to India, the earring"* leaving the top of the \ Ivlonmni'ot, Fish-s'reet-hi!l, every mominr, and taking five minute* at the summit of the Great Py ra . Said for refreshment*. anil to allow the passengers « short lime to '*«f«*trn iie ; ir From this :>oii t Walloons will be continitoi'y starting 1 for the most' ■important cities of the \ti\otln Desert. The car. riage is then to proceed to Fndii, thus (shoti'd Mm weather be not fogey) affording tit the traveller a delightful cohj> d'ceil of the mn>.i interesting countries of thfi E*.st. The arrangements are in et-e>y Tespect very complete' Lord Brougham is understood to hive accepted the office of patron, being himself of a rather flighty nature. The provisions will be carried easily in the conductor's waistcoat, as by a new invention the essence of three slurp ©an be concentrated 'into a small lozenge. The "waiting room fur the ladies at the Great Pyramid is igf'the "most commodious kind, the ancient sepulchral chamber of King Cheops being fitted up in the Oriental style for that purpose. Passengers who should wish to be dropped at any of the inters mediate towns may be lowered by small band balloons at the usual cab prices. N.B.J The "Rocket'' Aerial Steam carriage will 'start on Monday next for a trip round the Comet, proceeding by easy »tages along the Milky Way. Sir J. Herschell has leen engaged as conductor, being the only person who knows the exact road.— lbid. Jonathanisms.—"l can't be beet,' remarked a poor carrot'to a sympathising onion. the temperance men say they put logwood i n port wine. Is that what dyes your uose so red ?> * Nonsense, my son, go to bed.' Oneof the Southern papers having asserted that * Miss Lucy Long' was to be set to mnsic, the editor of the Picayune gave his opinion that she had a great'deal better le sent to work. "The victory is no .always to the mtrong,' as the boy said when he hi/led the skunk with a brickbat. * Oh, what a soft seat,' as the bat said when placed on the dandy's head. ' All's Weil that ends well,' as the young wife said when the old man died— rich. 'You are beneath my notice,' as the hawk said to the field mouse, 'Pray oib't wait forme,' as the 4 mouse said to the cat. * Those notes enliven me,' as the printer said Wfaeo a remittance, came for five years' Jsubscrip,ti*i. ' "l'm a victim to an artificial state of society,' aa ike mor/key said when they put trousers on him. 'I hare the honor,' as the blackleg said at whist- ' You're beneath me !' as the bog said wbeu he stepped over the drunkard. * Back out,' as the bustle said to'tht petticoat, "I feci greatly relieved,' as the patient said to ifct doctor when he paid him his bill. t&o oi,' as the 4tra«d«r »aid to the jg lifting,