often fear that you will be disappointed with myself and hesitate inviting me to New Zealand which makes me so anxious to gratify you in intellectual attainments if I cannot in personal appearance but instead I think I shall have quite sufficient time to become metaphorised into an old woman ere you come home so many unavoidable hindrances come in the way. I had no sooner got over the trial parting with Cath, and commenced the classes I meant to attend during winter when a letter came from Uncle urging of me to herewithout delay as he was so embarrassed with Aunt Helen becoming imbecile, could not put from home on his ministerial duties having no one to take charge of the house or be with Aunt in his absence. Naturally I was much annoyed. I knew not what to do. I was most painfully reluctant to give up my studies and as equally unwilling to seem undutiful to my Uncle. At last my feelings of compassion overcame, in the meantime, my educational interests so that the present finds me here I hope in the path of duty and if it is so I shall be rewarded, but longer than three months I certainly will not and cannot remain. I am not going to leave half done what I have begun as Uncle would have me do, but for other two years [crossed out] with your sanction for two years more that which I think will eventually be of value to me. If all is well