Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You

Observation Post, Volume 1, Issue 31, 18 December 1942, Page 4

Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You

SOFT PEDAL Sandy was learning to play the bagpipes.d One night, while ,he was strutting about the room, skirling for all he was worth, his wife attempted a mild protest. “That’s an awfu’ noise ye’re making,’ she said. Sandy sat down and took off his boots and'got up and resumed his piping in his stockinged feet.

THE VERY last. “How’s your uncle, Bill?’’ “Didn’t you know? He has committed suicide. ’ “No, really? .That’s the last thing I should have thought he would'do!’’ “.It was. 1

RUSTIC REASONING. A motorist approached a- ford on a strange road, and before venturing, he asked a passing youth if it was safe to drive through it. Being assured, he drove on, but was soon stuck in the middle. With a withering glance he turned to the youth, who had stopped to watch proceedings. “That’s funny, said the lad. “It only, comes up to the middle of my father’s ducks. '

TOO GENEROUS

Nineteen-year-old William was puzzled over the girl problem and he de cided to discuss the matter with his friend Martin. “I’ve walked to the tennis club with her for three weeks,’’ he confessed, “and carried /her racquet. I’ve given her flowers and chocolates, and I’ve taken her to the pictures once a week. Now, do you think I ought-to kiss her?’’ Martin gave the!' matter earnest “-ought. “Well, you don’t need to, * “ he replied., “You’ve done tlO jr that girl already.’’ em

UNFORTUNATE Political Speaker: “I’m pleased to see such a dense crowd here to-night.’’ Voice from the crowd: “Don’t be too pleased we’re not all dense.’’ Both the photographer and the mother had failed to make the restless little four-year-old sit still long enough to have his photograph taken.. Finally the photographer suggested that the little darling might be quiet if his mother left the room for a few minutes. During her absence, the picture was successfully taken. On the way home, the mother asked: What did the nice man say to make mother’s darling sit still?’’ “He shaid, ‘You thit sthill, you little brat, or I’ll knock your. block off. ’Tho I that sthill.’’ ;

A new gunner'was having his first lesson in motor-driving. The expert was at some pains "to make him understand the action of the brakes. ‘ ‘ The hand lever, ’ ’ he explained, “brakes the rear wheels only, but the foot pedal brakes all four wheels. Now, is that plain?’’ “It is,’’ answered the gunner,with a trace of annoyance. “But what is going to happen to me when all the wheels are broken? “I have no confidence in men. Why not? 'Every time I go to the pictures with another young man I find mine there with some other girl.’’

PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE. iMagistrate: .“What did you do .when you heard the prisoner using such iwful language?’’ Policeman: “I told him he wasn’t fit to be among decent people, and brought .dm here. ’ ’ ’

Mess Sergeant: Who in hell put those flowers on the table? Orderly: The captain. Mess Sergeant: Purdy, ain’t they?

U-boat Commander: Enemy ship in sight. All men to action stations! I Ready! Scuttle!

High heels were invented by woman j. who had been kissed on the forehead. | I