The Common Round

Observation Post, Volume 1, Issue 5, 19 June 1942, Page 3

The Common Round

(By

This is WAFE calling. Many of you will have been wondering what old I * ‘ Wafe ’ ’ thinks about the war. So is i he. Now here is old “Wafe” in person to tell you what he doesn’t know about it, and, believe us, that is plenty. Ladies and gentleman, Mr Wafe. ’ Good morning, everybody! You have probably read in the newspaper hoardings that there’s a war on. Well, there is, too. The British are lighting the Germans, and the Germans are lighting the Russians, and the Japanese are. fighting the Australians, and the , Americans are fighting the Japanese, ! and the French are fighting the Vichy Government, and the Balkan States are fighting one another, and the political parties in New Zealand are lighting among themselves. So far nobody has exactly won, but the Italians have lost. Now let us take you over to the 'Russian front. Here Hitler has started another great push. The last one he started ended up in his face, and probably this one will too, if he hasn’t yet lost his' face entirely. In the south the Germans report that they are driving the Russians to the east, off the Kerch Peninsula. Just a little to the north the Russians, under Marshal Timoshenko, report that they are driving the Germans to the west. Well, the conclusion we must draw from this is obvious. If the Germans keep on driving east they will come to the Black Sea, where they’ll have to get out and swim, and then to the 'Caucasus, where they have to get out and walk. Meanwhile if the Russians keep driving west they’ll find themselves sooner or later in Germany, where they will be entitled to have a rest. So among all the strategic possibilities we have to consider, the most interesting— will not venture to say the most likely, but you’ never knowis that the Germans may take Russia and the Russians may take Germany. This would l create a very grave language difficulty, probably foul. Good evening, everybody! j • This is WAFE calling. You have just ' heard . . . (fade out to the strains of , the Amalgamated Pig Iron Apprentices’’ j Mates’ Silver Brass Band playing' ‘ ‘ Dance of the Merry Gnomes. ’ ’) (I » This is WAFE calling. What is Hitler secret weapon? Many of you will I have wanted to know ,what this secret i weapon is that the Germans claim to j be using on the Eastern Front. So have, the 'Germans. Here is “Wayfarer,” the’ distinguished columnist of the Daily. Tinies, to tell you. Mr “Wayfarer”: 1 1 Ai hev bin esked to tell you whet Al noo about the Nezzis’ secret wep’ns. i Well, kendidly Ai don’t! Yeu noo, nobuddy does noo, reahly, or et wooden | be secret! Mai own b’lef, tharfore, is thet ayther et isn’ secret or et isn’ a wep’n. We haird a lot lotlely about improved British: bomb blast. This in no secret. The Gairmans hev haird a lot of British bomb blast too. Now Hitler is replying with bombast. So perheps thet’s his secret wep’n. We ken only conjecture, but this we dou noo, thet his bombast gives off a very poisonous gas. Chairy-ou.