All About a Dog

Observation Post, Volume 1, Issue 5, 19 June 1942, Page 3

All About a Dog

(A True Stbry). 4 Battery Please Note. Bill Smith claimed that he was a dog fancier, by which is meant that ho knew a good “dorg” when he saw one, but Bill had the unfortunate habit of picking on dogs of doubtful ancestry and by close analysis, 1 endeavoured to trace their good points, for Bill believed that there is some good to be found even in the worst of dogs. For example Bill claimed that if a dog had two long hairs under his chin, he was the second pup of a. litter; if three harts, it was the third pup and so on. If the dog had a black roof to its mouth, this was the symbol of good breeding somewhere. There were people who looked upon Bill as an authority and believed all he said, thus Bill gained a reputation of being able to “pick ’em” at a glance. But there were others who regarded Bill as a crank, and decided to pull Bill’s leg. One day while Bill was weeding his front garden, one of . the village wags happened along “ quite by accident.” Leading a dog which bore the markings of what might be termed an artists dream of camouflage. The family tree of this particular dog ' went so far back that it became impossible to find out how he first got started. Bill looked up just , as the village wag came through the front gate. One quick glance and Bill’s critical eye took in everything about that dog, particularly the fact that it had no collar and was being led by a short, heavy and well worn piece of rope. He was at once suspicious. Instinct told him that something was afoot. ‘‘Take it away” said Bill “and drown it.’’ Much shocked by this sudden and quite unexpected attack the village wag attempted to bluff. ‘‘This dog was given to me as a good watch dog” he said. But Bill was unhioved. “Go and drown it, shoot it, smother it, do anything you like with it, but don’t let “it stay here dislodging fleas in my garden,” said Bill. The village wag was worried. He showed * embarrassment. Bill weakenedat least he. pretended to weaken. ‘‘l’ll tell you what I’ll do,” he said. ‘‘You come with, me now, and we’ll *go out. into the country and get rid of it. Suiting action to words he went to the garage, bucked out his model T Ford, and slipping, something into his pocket, invited 1

the village wag and his canine friend to get aboard. Five miles from town on a lonely country, road he pulled up. ‘‘Now,” said Bill ‘‘this dog’s death is going to be quick, sudden and painless.” Pulling a plug of ‘‘gelly” with fuse attached from his pocket, he set about tying it to the dog’s tail. Turning to the village wag he told him to find a stone and spit on it and let the dog see it. “When I light the fuse you call the dog and throw the stone into that paddock,” said Bill. By this time the . village wag was showing visable signs of nervousness, and began talking to the dog and gently whistling to it and showing it the stone. The dog evidently had some .retriever strain in ' it for it was just “rearin’ to go” and when the stone sailed through the air the dog went after it with a trail of smoke steaming from its tail. But the fuse was too long, and the dog had retrieved the stone and was bringing it back, and the charge had not gone off. Bill meantime had jumped into his car and was some fifty yards down the road and gathering speed. As he looked back he could see the village wag sprinting after him, hat in hand and calling frantically. It was a race against time. Bill had a good load — village wag was holding second place i and the dog coming up fast in third place. Suddenly an explosion split the air and the dog was ‘‘no more.” Bill kept his foot on the gas and as he j topped a hill he looked back. The village wag was still running—slower cer- , tainlv, but he was still running. From > that day Bill has had no further , trouble with practical jokers, nor has • he set eyes on the village wag who was ' given a watch dog. > WHAT WHAT ! ! | Proud Father in 6th Battery inspecting triplets for first time. ~ . | ‘‘See what you get with practice.” , . , ! Haidresser: “Shall I give you a shampoo Madam? ! .Mrs . Newlyrieh; ‘‘l can . afford- (he , lest, a genuine Poo or nothing at all.”