SOLDIER FLATTIE

Korero (AEWS), Volume 2, Issue 22, 6 November 1944, Page 26

SOLDIER FLATTIE

Published by arrangement with Army Archives Section. No part of this article may be reprinted without the permission of Archives Section, Army H.Q.

“ A policeman’s lot is not a happy ./A. one ” says the song. It is silent about his lot when the Army makes him one of its own policemen. Contrary to public opinion, the military policeman really does other things besides making himself a nuisance when you are on leave. His activities are multifarious. At an advanced base camp in Italy the Kiwi provosts carried out a raid on neighbouring villages which had its amusing side. Shortly after establishment ,pf this camp and a Polish camp in close proximity, hawkers from these villages began to ply their trade. Such was their success that their numbers increased to a couple of hundred. Coincident with this thriving trade, it was found that articles of Army property were vanishing, and it was learnt that troops were sometimes bartering Army gear, including blankets, for the hawkers’ wares. So it was decided to nip the

affair in the bud. Consideration was also given to the fact that the hawkers were a menace to security. So a small party of New Zealand and Polish provosts, later joined by two Italian carabinniere, set out to arrest all hawkers in the area and take them to the Kiwi camp for inquiries.

The first bag, taken within a minute or so of leaving camp, consisted of an unshaven hawker of middle age who protested volubly but who quickly became resigned, and a lad in his teens who burst into tears when hoisted on to the truck but was pacified by the older man. Next a motley-coloured party of men, women, and children were rounded up and bundled into a three-tonner along with their stock-in-trade, mostly fruit, nuts, and cheap jewellery. A few of the bolder youngsters made a break for some nearby trees, but were quickly recaptured. Some of the women and children made the welkin ring with their sobbing and cries, others took it calmly enough. This went on all morning, and by noon nearly two hundred pedlars of all ages, sizes, and sexes were locked in a Nissen hut. They were sorted out according to the villages from which they came and their names were taken. Then they

were lectured by an interpreter on their conduct and told they must not enter military camps without a permit. Otherwise they would be arrested and charged for daytime trespassing and shot if found in similar circumstances at night. During the afternoon small parties carried out the more important task of

searching the villages from whence these pedlars came. In one house the provosts “ flushed ” a couple of Army blankets and some articles of clothing. One of the blankets had cleverly been converted into a pair of trousers, and the daughter of the house, who had been watching proceedings closely, suddenly snatched the trousers from a startled provost’s hand and retrieved the buttons. Obviously she was determined to render to Caesar only the things that were, without any shadow of doubt, belonging to Caesar. At another house Materfamilias wore

a jaunty cap obviously made from a piece of Army blanket. In spite of a close search, nothing further could be found the signora retained what she doubtless considered a chic bit of headgear. When the three villages had all been searched it was found that the total quantity of gear was not great. In one “ line,” however, a brisk trade had been carried on, and the provosts recovered just short of a hundred pairs of hosetops. So P.O. Kiwi had done his job and went back to his beat, probably to look for Kiwis without hose-tops.