THE VERDICT

Gun Flash, Issue XXVIII, 10 July 1943, Page 1

THE VERDICT

CHAPMAN ' Vs • COLE

WORMSWTDDLE FCS THE ( EMC E

Readers will recall the dramatic turn of events in our last issue. It looked as if Cole was in the cart. Remember the facts - the batman was in the box - Ducksbottom was going pretty low to discredit the defendant, hipping to influence the jury, Some say that if he had gone any lower we would have got gravel rash’* The heat was on - and was Wormswiddle boiling’. Those of you who have suffered from scalding urine know what that is like. What was the batman’s damning evidence? You want to know? Well, so do well ; ; The..Court, was cleared ahd his evidence was taken in the Judge’s Chamber - not even the press got the low down* However, we bring you Wormswiddle’s able defence. WORMSWIDDLE; You listened patiently to my worthy friend trying his best to rouse your sympathy by bouncing Cole. Those tactics won’t help his client’s case. You can all see without my saying that Ducksbottom let go nothing but hot airl I The defence does not intend to produce witnesses, but what we have to confine ourselves to io the question of fact. Is Chapman a Maestro? A genius? If so, he’s mad - they all are. Then there’' sho case, But I say No I - he’s nothing but a bull- something artist. And further, I’ll say he loves this Boogey-Woogey stuff. When he hears it he experiences those tingling shivers of appreciation running up and down his spine like a window blind. Do you he’s just received a copy of ’’ln the Mood" and yet ho says he’s not a swing.king. Balderdash and Poppycock’. I Again, would you not question the sanity of a man who attempted to tune a piano with a monkey wrench and a nail?? Chapman did.! However, I will admit cf Chapman, ’tis said he, hath a liquid touch - that is why he attempted to play the Chicago Piano - too much liquid!’. And finally, what my client said to the complainant, a mere extension of common courtesy, has been deliberately misconstrued by Chapman. Why? To gain in the press from this case. The defence rests? HEIFERDUST: (Summing up) I won’t say that slander has not been proved, and on the other hand, I won’t say that slander has been proved. That’ what the jury is for. THE' VERDICT: It was a drawl But, with certain recommendations, .Cole must pay 2*5 centimes and the whole matter will be forgotten. Or, if he can’t raise the money, a public apology mode through the columns of , the paper "Gun Flash”, not less then three days and not more than seven days* from this date, will see justice done. Also the defendant is to have the right of appeal to a higher authority.