Kauri Point Kapers

Flak, Volume 1, Issue 3, 15 April 1943, Page 7

Kauri Point Kapers

Presenting a. drama in one act, ' from real life: • /' . Scene: An army pay-room. As r the curtain rises to the soft strains ;of the “Star-Spangled .Banner.” Lt. och joy ’is seen seated at 'the central table. A stern frown hovers over his dark, manly beauty, as various one-pipped gentlemen hurry to and fro, a world of care shown ’ on > each martial ’face. ’ ■. '/■///' ; < From ’the/ ; right centre a gunner marches smartly in, snaps a salute,’ and stands rigidly at attention. The ? sun, reflecting from her platinum blonde hair, throws a ray of glory into the sombre atmosphere;; a shy but expectant light shines in her beautiful blue eyes..7* > Lt. Och joy glances up; slowly a gentle smile softens his stern beauty as the following dialogue takes place: v .‘‘Good afternoon, Gnr. Throbbing.” “Good afternoon, sir.” x.' ' “Are you doing anything - to-night, < "Gunner?”- f ■■ “ : •?'/•■s “Oh,-no,'* sir” (shyly and expectantly). ■ : • . . , i “Good. Very good. My uniform is in a shockingly " dirty condition, .Please; see what you can do, and don’t forget to -polish the buttons.” ; The gunner collapses on the floor, and four sobbing Waacs / tenderly carry the body out .as the curtain falls. ❖ v ❖ . ’ # \\ ' ' ? Kauri Point ’has been honoured by a lengthy visit from our revered' and venerable. 8.5.. M. His present occupation seems to be to encourage our young rookies to hit a certain given spot in a certain given time. A ribald suggestion has been. put forward that a few spots judicially administered : might greatly enliven proceedings •- generally. Enquiries as to the B. S.M.’s health from B.H.Q. were • as follows (over the phone): BH.Q.: “Hello,'S.M. • How are you getting on?” S.M.: “Fine, sir, lam now back on a battle station.” ' 8.H.Q. : “What’s that? A bottle station?” We pass such suggestions' over in dignified silence. : . ./ ■•,••.

We must admit, however, that Kauri - Point, from a scenic point of view is, if it can possibly be imagined, benefiting from- the S.M.’s visit. The S.M. was overseeing the preparations

for the planting of pungas. One inquisitive gunner asked the .natural query: “Say, S.M., what are we supposed to be planting? ’Pansies?” Back ' came the S.M.’s answer: “Pan- . sies! Pansies be damned! There are far too many here already.’’ We the / guardians x of Kauri Point morals, take that literally. We scorn any hidden inference. v- "“h - f " ■ ... • ' , The Kauri Point; cricket pitch; is definitely taking shape. A beautiful rustic fence is being .constructed round it, volcanic soil, is being-spread . . and rolled in. The expected . results; have given rise to a furious controv- . ersy. Which is the more profitable to raise on our . future pastures-— springing heifers or woolly sheep? Apart from the war effort we have given our vote to the heifers as serving a double purpose. Our lady gunners would just love to attend them as a break from gun routine, and our commanders, gently dozing in their cots in the early hours, their great minds fixed ;on ; imperial ; problems, would have ample milk in their morn- . ; ing cups. Waited on, of course, by shy and beautiful batwomen. Oh, Aphrodite What a jolly war!