"MRS PERKINS" MYSTERY

Dozerdust, Volume 2, Issue 23, 5 August 1944, Page 3

"MRS PERKINS" MYSTERY

FINALLY CLEARED I. 1

DURING the last week the mysterious disappearance of ” Mrs Perkiris “ & her full sister from 'the Dumbca ’ Valley has .been the subject of a ) good deal of speculation, and a lot of.fantastic theories. It was . alleged, for example, . that ” Bog Ape ” Ma calc who had more or less mothered both old ladies, .had dismantled them and packed them away in '

his Kit bag, thus hoping to make immoral and illegal use .of them back on-his farm in Canterbury. Discreet enquiries reveal that he has both his kit bags full of American cigarettes and. .toy' balocns which " frees him • from all suspicion; but has him greatly worried neverthe-. less*::: IN, order to ascertain the afficial. attitude, we interviewed ths ” Old Man ” who was busy over what we took to be latest edition of ” King’s Regs A! Oil stating our ' mission, he. looked up and said: " I am just finishing sub-clause c, of sub-section A of General Introduc-

tion to the Three Thousand! Five Hundred and Forty. Nine main clauses which follow. It is most inconvenient to stop reading in the middle of. a sentence , but in order to. set all minds at rest, I’ll take ■ the . risk of not being able to.find my place,- and explain what happened. :::: IN -accordance with the last resolution passed by the General Disarmament Conference and' the Hague Court proceedings ( sec sub-clause f, of section Bi) " Mrs Perkins " and her full sister had their inn-

ards .removed- discmbowled if you like - ana their remains decently buried. " Gertrude ” , or the " Sad &Ack " was, as she was commonly known, was handed over the. Ffienoh which I discover. the Hague Court permits,. .1 had thought Of handing her over to Bob Semple for incorporation in the PWD collection of *• ’ .

a UJ. w V - W modern machinery ♦ But such are the vagaries of Disarr man..ht Confer-

en.ces that I had to' bury what I could not give ' away.:::: YOU might, by the way, inform the troops that until I have read and understood the Three Thousand Hive Hundred and-

Forty .Nine clauses and sub-clause-" of this .volume nd ship carrying - , Works Personnel will be permitted v h to leave f 1 ' the harbours, rivers, or ports of this island* You might also tell them that I am looking for a clause dealing with the declaration of goods other than issue in kit bags? I am most anxious to find something-on the question- for purely personal reasons’,you understand. ”

'flu did.