OUR STAFF.

Dozerdust, Volume 1, Issue 5, 9 July 1943, Page 2

OUR STAFF.

Culprits?! On Paraded

A unit newspaper is something of a spare time problem. And spare time in the army is presions® There are all manner, of jobs, such as washing,.’ darning, mending and cleaning up one’s gear. Jobs that a civilian can hand on to the laundry,, the wife or the girl friend. But nothing can be handed on here, except,' perhaps ” our stuff ” .and here they are.

The design of DOZERDUST is the work of Sgt Lin. Lipanovic, in

|civil life a commercial artist whom the army nabbed in Auckland Recognising his value ( of cours< he was one of the first men to be sent to the New Hebrides, of which he can tell seme good taloi As Art Editor of this amazing production, Lin, does us a weekly sketch. He goes tempeAiental at times, but that, he assures us, is a privilege of all the ” Elam People 5 As an artist Lin has something in store for N.Z. Art. But we must not anticipate.

• Our weekly feature is the work of' one ” Major Sucker,O.B.E. 11 , whoso identity has up to the present been R Security ”, but which wo may now reveal to be no less than Sgt Alox Bowman,an architect of questionable repute who hails from Christchurch. Wo understand he designs only for the ” best people ” who rarely, if ever build, since they find it cheaper to move than pay rent i? Major Sucker’s H favourite expression is ” people of our class 15 and his pet aversion is M lewd fellows of the baser sort

Circulation is in the hands of Sgt George Lindsay whose service were obtained when we advertised for ” a clean old man” to delive: papers. His antecedents are some what obscure® It is understood that he comes from n Washdyke? which should always be spelt in the singular. Of the Oity of Washdyke he is Mayor, Town Councillor, Chamber of Commerce and carries on the combined., practice of grocer, midwife and vetinary surgeon.

In charge of the linotype is Spr Porcy Renna who claims he was born in Gisborne, . educated in Dunodin, took up advertising in 'Veilington, a wife in Napier, .and a job with Cadbury Fry Hudso:

Ltd, Been in tho advertising game all his life and still believes what tho copy-writ dish out 111 Hobby, eating Cadbury’s chocolate and playing pQker. Military career consists mostly of camouflaging himself out of sight when wanted,...by tho editor. Assisting Art Editor Spr, Ray Barnaby another zealous ‘Aucklander who gathers news the editor once printed with disastrous consequences. Ray is suspected of writing poetry ► to Javanese girls. That, at d)east is the theory of Sgt G. Aim, our proof reader who complains bitterly that he is Snover given tho proof to read until ho gets his copy of the paper. Nevertheless, he manages to conceal our lack of primary skool sphelling. Sgt lan Pears has no relationship with Pears Soap, or Pears’ Cyclopaedia. We question whether he has heard of either,. Wo do not 'wish it to be inferred that ho does not wash oi' cannot read# W@ do not know.. As Distribution Manager he counts the papers fairly inaccurately ©

For our legal adviser wo have Sgt Ford of In’gill who is reputed to bo Oyster/Eating Champ and something of a » hog on mutton birds®

The staff has not yet made 1 up its mind whether the Editor, Sgt R.Maclvor is entirely & mad, or occasionally so. He z is frequently heard talking y to himself and has a mania for collecting moss gear ’other than his 0wn..... a "lewd fellow of tho baser sort’J

Spr Rex Conoyboor called at this office today asking that wo publish a denial of tho story of his affair with Mrs, Spider. Ho made no date and states that he spent* the night in the Spider’s web because ' he could not find his way outj not because Old Man Spider was out on a job»