From the pulpit

Tu Tangata, Issue 21, 1 December 1984, Page 17

From the pulpit

by Tabernacle TARBUK

Hundreds of natives emerged from their cultural cool-stores from all regions of Aotearoa young and old or is it bold. No matter the weekend was notable for the excellence of the “utter rot, stuff and nonsense, balderdash, and piffle”.

Dignitaries present included the leader of the Tarbuk Church, one Tabernacle Tarbuk, along with his entourage of newly appointed Bishops Bishop Dim MIHAKA of posterior fame. He has been granted the Bishopric of PONEKE with particular responsibility for posteriors. He is in the process of objecting to Tom Scott’s misrepresentation. He adamantly denies the representatiuon made that he has no testes. This rumour is false and the Tarbuk Church decrees this.

Bishop Sydney MELBOURNE of the Bishopric of Extra-Terrestrial Objects with particular responsibility for Ding-a-Lings held two sinners meetings during the weekend. Bishop Mira SZAZY did not wish to accept a BISHOPRESS since she mistakenly thought it to be of a lower quality to the title Bishop. Her Bishopric is under discussion as is her area of responsibility. She has however accepted the title of Bishop.

Of note however is the appointment of the first Bishopress of the Tarbuk Church. This honour went to Bishopress Wini Minarapa HAHIPENE of TE TEKO. She holds the Bishopric of TE TEKO but with particular responsibility for all Eskimoes in Aotearoa. She is also the instigator of every “Beam up” within the church. She also helped with the birth of the 15th Commandment.

Along with Tarbuk another notable event was the overwhelming sale of products from that new Maori enterprise “APOPO CANNING INDUSTRIES”. Every item sold at half price, and over the weekend various recipients won cans and cans they badly needed. Some won cans of humility, some cans of honesty, cans of aroha, cans of silence. It was notable that each recipient was in dire need of the particular product they won.

Maori Repairs were present and accepted their cans with grace and dignity. Maori M.P.’s also received their appropriate cans. The weekend was a raging success in that people with differing points of view were able to stand up and put their point of view with dignity and aroha. To me it looked as if the RANGATAHI showed the way. At least they kept their speeches succinct and to the point. I found some older ones went on far too long. I felt exhilarated overall and feel proud I was present for a number of reasons. Firstly, I talked with whanaunga I had never truly talked to before. Secondly, I fell in love, but then I fall in love at every hui I attend. Thirdly, I was thrilled with growth of my church. Fourthly, I met many dear friends whom I hope I will continue to meet on marae again and again and again. “Bless you, my children”.