Winging it with Mr Bungle
Reader Warning #1: What follows may damage your mental health. Maybe the reason Mr Bungle make such nutty music is because they’re full of utter wacksters like Danny. Danny does something; in Mr Bungle [in a more conventional band, he’d be called the drummer] and lives in San Francisco. It's a Bungle and He’s Out There Before I get the chance to enquire just why Mr Bungle want to inflict their records on the innocent, Danny enquires after my health. After checking everything’s OK-ish with me, he informs me he has a broken back, but it’s only slightly broken. According to Danny his back problems had something to do with the overcrowding in San Francisco = / “San Francisco’s an absolutely lovely city. It’s on a peninsula, bay area, with 500 million people. It’s very crowded, I used to have three people living in my left lung. Maybe that’s why my back’s broken.”
Danny then finds out I’m calling from Christchurch "Jesus Christchurch.” Ho, ho, ho. This is about the time d biffed away any questions I may have had to ask, and decided to just let whatever happened happen. Reader Warning #2: Any reader with a low tolerance for reading mindless drivel should just stop reading now. James Bond anil De Plane, De Plane Mr Bungle’s latest masterwork is called Disco Volante. Could this have anything to do with the ship of the same name from the classic Jimmy Bond film Thunderball? "A long time ago we did a cover of Thunderball. It’s one of my favourites. I like anything Sean Connery did, or the first two Roger Moores. The Man With the Golden Gun was the last of the good ones. It had that funny little guy from Fantasy Island in it.”
Up until now Danny had been blissfully unaware that Ricardo Montalban’s shortarse sidekick, Tattoo, had, in fact, topped himself. Danny .took the news fairly well “That funny little guy... that cute little guy! He killed himself! I feel bad for Rick.” Suckers ant Dug fucking In one last aborted attempt to find out the secrets of Mr Bungle’s musical madness, I , enquire about the Bungleites’ latest album. “If I was a sucker, I’d buy it.” What would Danny like to listen to, then? “I don’t get much of a chance. I have to listen to our stupid music.” When Danny does find a few moments to relax, chances are he’d listen to the Barefoot Hockey Goalies (if they exist), that is, if he could drag himself away from his alleged excursions into pooch prostitution. "I’m a pimp. There’s a lot of fucked up, rich old men in this city that just love to have sex with animals. I work down at the dog pound, where I get to take some of these dogs out so these fucking old creeps can fuck ’em. That’s how I make my cash.” ' Fearing the vengeful wrath of vegan vandals, Danny later back-pedals on his cruel canine capers "I don’t follow through on it. I just keep ripping off a bunch of sick old men.” A Pint of Extra Bitter, OU Man, Please Steering Danny away from the X rated world of animal husbandry towards the safer climes of modern rock shows leads to some soul searching. "I go to shows once in a while. I’m a fucking old man I don’t really have time for that shit... I’m a bitter old man.” (In best Paul Holmesian style) Why are you so bitter Danny? “An excellent question. What made me bitter? One day I realised I’m a bitter old fuck-
er. When I was growing up, I remember thinking: ‘I. hate people who grow old too fast before they even ripen.’ I just hate everything and everybody. I think I'm just intolerant of crowds .” Tie the Kangaroo Down, Sport, amt Fuck Off! When he discovers his words of wisdom are being printed in a New Zealand magazine, Danny let’s fly with some hastily chosen words on one of his (many) pet hates "Those fucking raucous Australians, fuck those bastards... fuck those bastards. I’ve never been there and I hate it. There seem to be a lot more fatheads in Australia than there are in New Zealand. “It seems : Australia is full of a lot more people who’ve been hit really hard in Australian Rules football games. The only taste you get of Australians here is these pighead football types, or uptight, egotistical surfers.’’The Patton Man '■ What Mr Bungle interview would be complete without some attempt at an irritating question about Mr Bungle’s most famous member, Mike Patton? Danny responds in the only way he knows how. ■ “I’ve heard of the guy. Oh, hang on, I know who Mike Patton is. Didn't he used to sing for Turd? He was a pretty shitty one at that.” Fight Taranaki! All good things must come to an end, and luckily things that aren’t that good also finish. Before leaving, Danny left us with a message for all New Zealanders to share. “My last word to New Zealand is, fight till fucking Taranaki and Southland rule the earth.”
KEVIN LIST
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Rip It Up, Issue 220, 1 December 1995, Page 16
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858Winging it with Mr Bungle Rip It Up, Issue 220, 1 December 1995, Page 16
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