Penis Envy Poke

Rip It Up, Issue 217, 1 September 1995, Page 10

Penis Envy Poke

Each month I read the letters column in RipltUp to catch up on the latest public opinion on things musical. Each time I am confronted by snide snipes and churlish quibbling from opposing aural critics. Unfortunately, the August issue was no exception. I read the chauvinistic, polarised, verbal diarrhoea, being slung at the all female band 5 Girls, by Method Man and his bunch of rugger bugger cretins, who obviously suffer from an insecurity complex, probably due to their mammas refusing to breast feed them as babies (can you blame them?). I quickly concluded that their dads, must have brought them up on a strict diet of fellatio and cream, judging by the stench of Big Man Syndrome their letter reeks of — a sure sign of true cocksuckers. I have had the pleasure of seeing [Pumpkinhead, Semi Lemon Kola and 5 Girls] play live on various occasions at Framptions (RIP), Mount Maunganui, and personally feel it should have been 5 Girls headlining on the Night of the Living Rednecks in question. There aren’t enough all-female bands willing to get up and play some arse rockin’ hard-edge around anymore. [This is] probably as a result of the unwarranted antics they have to put up with, from dim-witted Philistines like you and your merry men. As for your frustrated, penis envy chum, Jonah (prop cock), he’s damned lucky to have

departed with his snivelling anteater still intact. If I had been in their boots, I would have administered a swift right Doc to the bollocks. You dickheads certainly intended to have a good time all right, but at the expense of everyone else. If there's any apologies to be rendered, then it should be forthcoming from you and your conformist shitheads. Personally, I think South Island band No Idea hit the nail on the head when they sung: ‘Rugger bugger, bloody tugger, with the boys.’ Rugger bugger, bugger, bugger off. Scott, Mount Maunganui.