The I Hate Merle H Thomas Fan Club

Rip It Up, Issue 214, 1 June 1995, Page 10

The I Hate Merle H Thomas Fan Club

This is to Merle H Thomas of Auckland, After reading your sad comment about Pearl Jam, I was fucking steaming! You’re the best excuse for nuking Auckland, and I hope the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits. Why are you slagging off at Pearl Jam? Did it even occur to you that Eddie Vedder isn’t Kurt Cobain. I bet you still believe Elvis is still alive too. The fact is, a lot of people adore Pearl Jam. Why do people take it upon themselves to back stab every band who are honest and sincere? What gives anyone the right to do this?

There are many bands I don’t like, but I respect that people like them and leave it alone. I’m sure you’d feel pissed off if some trendy fuck shitted all over your favourite band. Go bitch at someone who cares. Real music fans should accept each individual musician for who they are, and not compare them to persons who no longer exist. And when have Split Enz sounded like the Beatles? I found it a real compliment when Pearl Jam acknowledged some New Zealand talent, unlike some tight arsed, self indulging Americans. Get off the bandwagon man! Knocking bands is old and getting boring! And, I might add, all of Pearl Jam’s albums have sold like gas masks at Belsen. Lots of love and kisses, Kelly, Christchurch. Re: Merle H Thomas, Gee Merle, you must be a real fan of Nirvana et al to have such an eloquent, well thought out opinion. But don’t hold back. Wash out those finger paints and put crayon to paper once more. Regale us with some more pithy insights. It is refreshing to see an open (albeit vacuous) mind string so many big words together. Roger T. To Merle H Thomas of Auckland, I think that you are the most sordid, pigheaded person in this entire world. Not only did you slag off two of New Zealand’s finest musicians, but just because you don’t like Pearl Jam, you have to call everyone who likes them idiots. Have you got nothing more creative to do with you time than to write in to a magazine that featured Pearl Jam last month and call them idiots. How would you feel if someone wrote what you said about Kurt Cobain? You are a disgrace to New Zealand by slagging off Tim and Neil Finn. You are putting down the New Zealand music industry. You mustn’t have any sense of pride about our country, and you mustn’t have any friends because there’s a lot more people that like Pearl Jam than you think. I don’t care if you don’t like them, just don’t go calling people who like them idiots. If you’ve got nothing nice to say, keep your stupid thoughts to yourself because no-one wants to know. Kelly Nicholls. I would just like to say a big ‘fuck you’ to Merle H Thomas, you wet dreaming, perverted filth. The lyrics that Eddie Vedder writes are not just lyrics, they are some sort of phenomenon — something that will never come out of your impertinent little pathetic mind. This [is] coming from neither a surfer, homosexual, orangutan or Henderson resident. Are you sure you are not a closet bed wetter? It would bring me great pleasure to see you sing and perform in front of 10,000 people; or are you just a hypocrite with no co-ordination or musical talent, you two dollar peep show watcher? Nick T, Glendowie. I just want to say the letter from Merle H Thomas in the May issue was the most bitter, twisted and negative letter I have read for a long time. Telling people to throw their Pearl Jam records in the garbage. If everyone listened to the same music (ie. that dictated by people like Merle), would be out of business! Besides putting people down because of their musical preference, how many other readers were outraged by the comments on Tim and Neil Finn (founders of one of the best New Zealand bands in history)? For those attending the Pearl Jam concert (and some of those ‘orangutans’ actually like your beloved Cobain too thanks Merle!), the Finn brothers were a surprise and a delight. And since when have Split Enz been ‘Beatles imitators’? I think Merle is way off beat with the musical analysis. Who is really the ‘git’ here? I think maybe Merle H Thomas should get a life and stop obsessing over poor departed Kurt Cobain — not all musicians can be as perfect as he. Shelley, Wellington. Regarding a letter in May’s issue 213. Our response is pretty straight forward. Merle H Thomas, get your hand off your cock for a minute and listen up. First things first: Merle is one big fucking toss. Let’s get to the point. Anyone who can’t appreciate another’s effort to get up and entertain thousands of people (with lives) must be a Milli Vanilli fanatic. Another fuck-up on Merle’s part is that Pearl Jam don’t play heavy metal. Some call it grunge, some call it alternative, but no way is it metal shit. Pearl Jam brought on two of New Zealand’s greatest artists when Tim and Neil Finn took

the stage. [Who] give[s] a shit about who Kurt Cobain bought on stage? Just take a look at what happened to him. By the way, we know you were just pissed off because you fucked up in getting a ticket to the concert. The I Hate Merle H Thomas Fan Club, Mike and Jason, Hamilton. PS: What kind of fucked up person would call their kid Merle? Also, we couldn’t figure out what sex you are, but obviously you ain’t got no balls. Listen up Merle H Thomas, Auckland (May RipltUp), Maybe you get a thrill out of taking the shit out of Eddie Vedder, but the world does give a toss about Pearl Jam, especially lil’ ole New Zealand. Why else would they sell out two New Zealand concerts? There can't be that many ‘looney tuned, partially deaf orangutans’ in New Zealand, or did everyone go to pick shit with them? I don’t think sooo. Before you start to stir up any more shit about any other bands, I reckon I could do the same to Nirvana (not saying I don’t like them, ‘cause I do). Pearl Jam can’t be that wimpy, ‘cause at least Eddie Vedder hasn’t blown his brains out yet! (RIP Kurt.) Plus, what the hell is wrong with surfers? And Neil and Tim Finn are among the best musicians in New Zealand. I reckon they done a better job than you could have. The only ‘git’ around here is you! Please retrieve your Pearl Jam albums out of the bin and turn ‘em up loud! Can you find a ‘Better Man’? Carrots, Hamilton. PS: What’s wrong with Henderson? Hey Merle of Auckland, Why don’t you get a life and stop trashing decent bands like Pearl Jam? It's pretty obvious to the rest of the human race that not everyone likes the same bands. Each to his own, matey. Just because you don’t like them doesn’t automatically make them losers. Tim and Neil Finn aren’t my favourite either, but you won’t hear me coming down on them. At least they’re out there giving it a go, doing something constructive, unlike you. There’s nothing wrong with surfing. It’s a great sport. There’s nothing wrong with Eddie either. He has a lot of talent and many people like and admire him, including me. (By the way, last time I looked in the mirror, it wasn’t an orangutan that looked back.) I know you’re from Auckland, but next time try to behave like a normal human being. Absolutely Positively Pearl Jam Fan, Wellington. PS: Pearl Jam aren’t heavy mental (ha, ha, very witty), they’re alternative. Get your facts straight. You’re the ‘git’ Merle, not Eddie. Hey Merle (Girlie) Thomas of Auckland, You have obviously got about as much intellect and/or understanding of Pearl Jam as a stale dog shit has, so I’d like to correct you on the uninformed and hypocritical contents of your letter from last month: 1) Pearl Jam are not ‘heavy metal’ or posers. They are merely hard rock (mistakenly called grunge sometimes). 2) They are definitely not money making as they are currently engaged in a battle with the US Ticketmaster agency to lower ticket prices. 3) You apparently didn’t go to the concerts, so how do you know if they were useless or not? 4) When did Kurt Cobain have Courtney Love as a guest? 5) No one else seems to think the Finns are Beatles impersonators, and they were brought one because Split Enz were Vedder’s favourite band when he was growing up. 6) What’s wrong with surfers? So Merle, I hope you will be more informed in the future, and will stop to think before you open your arse, oops, I mean mouth! Matthew K, Auckland. PS: Who are you to hassle Eddie Vedder’s name when you’ve got a name like Merle. Pahleese! I am writing in reply to the letter by Merle H Thomas of Auckland which featured in your May issue, for some strange reason that remains unknown to mankind. I get the distinct feeling this person doesn’t like Pearl Jam. Well Merle, not everybody gets off on Nirvana either, but everybody for their own. I have been a Pearl Jam fan for over three years so, needless to say, I counted myself extremely lucky to be able to attend their second concert, which, I must add, was an extremely moving performance. As for Mr Vedder bringing out Tim and Neil

Finn to perform ‘History Never Repeats’ and ‘I Got You’ (two of New Zealand’s classics), I consider that to be a great compliment to New Zealand music. At least Eddie is aware that New Zealand actually has a music scene and made an effort to be a part of it! The performances by Vedder and the Finns may have actually been the high points of both the concerts. Or maybe you just had to experience it. From what I saw in the crowd, no-one was complaining about the presence of the Finn brothers; in fact, quite the opposite. It was great for these classics to be recognised [by] a band who are often recognised as ‘rock giants’. It would have been just as easy of them not to give a fuck. I would like to see Kurt fucking Cobain get up and do old songs from Th’ Dudes or Hello Sailor. (Oh fuck, that’s right, he can’t!) So, Merle H Thomas, on behalf of myself and all the other orangutans who attended the Pearl Jam concerts in Auckland, I would like to say fucking dream on, get a fucking life, and give New Zealand’s musical history a go — you might actually like it! I’d also like to say a big thank you to Eddie, Stone, Jeff, Mike and Jack for taking the time to come to small ole’ New Zealand, and giving two of their typically great performances. Also, a massive thanks to Tim and Neil just for being there to perform. Oh, and Merle, what the hell has Eddie being a surfer got to do with anything? Get fucked. Viva la vinyl (and bring back Frenzy), Bruce from Wanganui (you know the one). PS: I agree with Jason Peters whole heartedly!