PARTY PARTY PARTY: ELVIS PRATERAZZI AT THE MUSIC AWARDS

Rip It Up, Issue 213, 1 May 1995, Page 12

PARTY PARTY PARTY: ELVIS PRATERAZZI AT THE MUSIC AWARDS

DIM THE STAGE! LIGHT the LIGHTS! There’s no REHEARSING or NURSING a PART! It’s SHOWTIME! Yes, overseas they have the OSCARS and the GRAMMIES or if you are unfortunate enough the BRITISH MUSIC AWARDS - but when we here in LOVELY PURE GREEN OUTDOORS BUNGY-JUMPING WHITE-CAPPED MOUNTAINS LUIS VUITTON CUP LOVERS BLACK JERSEY BEER-SPONSORED NEW ZEALAND NEW ZEALAND NEW ZEALAND and we want to TRADE FUCK-UPS in front of a LARGE DRUNKEN AUDIENCE we slip on a SINGLET, fill out a nomination form and come on DOWN to the NEW ZEALAND MUSIC AWARDS. Also, it’s a great place for having TANTRUMS, FIGHTS in the CAR PARK, going into the WOMEN’S TOILETS if you’re a MAN, throwing a few PUNCHES in the carpark, DRINKING DRINKING DRINKING contrary to the advice of health authorities and community leaders and also STARTING FIGHTS IN THE PARKING LOT. Also you can have a FIGHT in the car park. This is HOW: First, DRINK AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Second: DON’T WIN ANYTHING. Thirdly: speak LOUDLY in a DEROGATORY manner regarding the success of other bands. Fourthly: when CHALLENGED by YOUNG MEN HALF YOUR AGE, hesitate not and agree to meet them in the car park. FIFTHLY: go outside and get the SHIT kicked out of you.

Headless Chicken McDonald and part-time Christian deity impersonator Mr BEVNIN SWEENEY featuring partially glimpsed ANGUS McNAUGHTON below ear. Assertion of DRUNKENESS supported by exhibit (a) Mr McNAUGHTON’s impulsive but somewhat irrelevant ‘peace’ gesture flashed to camera at no extra charge and exhibit (b) the newlook GRANT FELLS (far right) who extends lower lip and SQUINTS. The Headless Chickens are a nice band we like them they are nise. They are also the Top INTERNATIONAL Performers in the whole of New Zealand: refer exhibit (c) large yellow plastic rectangle held by Mr SWEEEENEY (foreground, center, right a bit).

BREAKING ALL THE RULES: Alabaster-skinned songstress and amateur photographer FIONA MCDONALD wears watch on right wrist and snaps picture with unfocussed Olympus compact, lens cover unfortunately still in place. Conclusion: drunk, despite sly orange juice prop (far right).

AFTER THE EVENT: Although visibly drained by his exorcism role, Martin Williams maintains the easy charm that has seen him through many a society evening.

HANG ON MATE THERE COULD BE MEAT IN THE WINE: Lovely prizewinners BRENT and JASON of PUMPKINHEAD say NO to flesh-based foods but give a big thumbs up to the natural things in life like WHITE wine and RED wine and SCOTCH and WHISKY and...

HEADLESS CHICKENS PEACE GESTURE: THE BATON PASSES. Internationally recognised twofinger signal now responsibility of Mr SWEENEY who, no stranger to hand movements, deploys it adeptly with right hand, a subtle variation on Mr McNAUGHTON’s more conventional ‘left hand’ approach (using left hand). Freed of gesture duties Mr McNAUGHTON strikes chirpy ‘Thanks, Clearasil!’ pose. Mr FELL remixes squint theme.

PLO WIDOW ATTENDS AWARDS: Israeli couturier and sometime lamprey impresario Andrew ‘Theresa’ Fagan deploys the media flair which has taken him so far in his rock career.

CHILLS REUNITE: Easygoing South Islander MARTIN PHILLIPPS toasts lineup #57 and the forthcoming album with new members MARY CAMMICK of Ribidup Records and GEMMA from MAX TV. Mindful of Chills precedents 1 through 56, Phillips intends playing, recording and performing entire repertoire: Mary's job is to put him in the magazine and Gemma’s to play the video. ‘There’s still a little bit of creative dissent within in the band musically,’ Phlipps concedes of lineup, ‘but after firing myself and hiring myself again a few times I’ve begun shaping up and listening to what I’m trying to tell myself to do.’

CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS: TIM STEWART of SUPERGROOVE and DAVIND VOOT of GREG JOHNSON INDUSTRIES moments before being run over by an advancing vehicle.

RINGS OF CONFIDENCE: Lovely DIANA FROM BMG and equally lovely if slightly frantic GARY FORTUNE compare respective bridgework. Anonymous toothsome companion (right) offers half-hearted tooth-with-tongue combo.

NIGHTCLUB OWNER IN UNFORTUNATE TONGUE POSITION: Media personality and SQUIDDLY-DID-DLEY executive MIKEY HAVOC does something really, really strange with his tongue. Our cameras were there! A Ribidup exclusive.

Helpfully standing to attention for our celebrity lens, top-shop producer MARK TIERNEY forgets he is holding a full glass of Chardonnay. Fellow musician PAUL CASSERLY and spectacled companion survey damage. Result: darkened Moschino trouser leg; drycleaning bill to Sire Records. \

WHO’S THAT GIRL???: She’s back/Lovely trendsetter ANDREW FAGAN strikes Madonna-like role- '. reversal pose, in the women’s restroom. Soon to ' be published in AFTERNOON NAP STORIES: SEX WITHOUT MADONNA, a book Of two hundred instamatic portraits of the nude // Fagan in provocative - poses, eg thumbing a ride naked down Ponsonby Road: rolling in the surf with Karyn Hay dressed as a man, etc. /

LIFE AFTER KURT: COURTNEY DROPS 65KG, MOVES TO WAINUIOMATA. Television personality and Marcus Wells backing-vocalist CHLOE clutches helpless glass of warm Chardonnay in vice-like grip while striking urbane sophisticate pose for our Ribidup society cameras.

UK PRODUCER SUCKS DEVIL FROM HORN PLAYER: In eerie X-F/7es-style scenario Killing Joke shaman JAZ COLEMAN draws evil spirit from heart of local jazzer GREG JOHNSON using the spread-hand-and-chanting trick as seen in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Discarded, high-pitched evil spirit (‘You will play things in 7/4, you will play things in 7/4’) is then transferred via finger into brain of nearby engineer Martin Williams.

Rolling' Stones guitarist TREVOR REEKIE and Not Sheryj Morris. ■ I / I I

GRAHAM BRAZIER attempts to revive the quiff that made him what he is today. ELVIS SLAG Photos by Becky Nunes