PUMP UP D'ANGELO

Rip It Up, Issue 168, 1 July 1991, Page 29

PUMP UP D'ANGELO

For the complete collection of Nude Madonna photos send a self addressed stamped envelope and sls (cash, no cheques) to: Photo-copies By Mail, c/o Nick D'Angelo, c/o Box 5689, AKI. You'll receive stunning proof that the Material Girl is not a bimbo but a woman in control of her own body (who just happens to like flashing the flesh). To protect your pictures further please include an extra $lO for Ezi-Wipe Laminate.

Yes, it's MADONNA month! Every magazine you look at has pages and pages of the CONTROVERSIAL ONE as seen in her new movie IN BED WITH MADONNA. If you ever wanted to get into bed with Madonna then this movie, screening August NZ time, is for you. It's a completely candid look at the private life of Madonna as she goes about her BLOND AMBITION tour. . ' Yes, a totally warts and all look at Maddy, completely unscripted or unrehearsed. Quite a depature from a woman who has slavishly controlled her media image every step of the way. Until this movie, that is. Yeah, right. Evidently the guy writing her unauthorised biography says all decisions are made in the boardroom: "... this is the date we allude to • Lesbianism Another movie beginning in August is NEW JACK CITY. Believe the hype, it's a hardcore GANGSTA flick and it's the real deal. Striving for "realism" some bits are laughable in their simplicity, but then we can't all be down with streetculture can we? So they had to make it so that , even you could understand it. Yes I've already seen the film but that's not worth trumpeting about when SOME BFM STAFF have already seen it on video. Much has been made about Ice T in the film playing a cop. Nothing for the fans to fret about, it's really Ice T playing Ice T. And some bastard shot his mother... Not a film to take your girlfriend to, NEW JACK CITY features lots of hoes getting their faces slapped. Or worse. No, to get your girlfriend all squishy take her to HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE MARLBORO MAN the ultimate in movie product placement! Yes, this is the intriguing tale of two men heavily into leather. One prefers motorcycles and the other prefers horses but they both like to ridel! Starring Don Johnson and Mickey ("Phillip" to his mum) Rourke. Plenty of movies on telly at the moment, with most of the crappiest (therefore the best) on during the day on Television One. Recently screened was an amazing animated film by - RALPH BAKSHI, who has inspired many aNY Graf artist. I didn't catch the title but another film featured lesbian sex!!! At 3 o'clock in the afternoon — corrrrr!!!!! One rare gem was not a film but a mini-series: HOLLYWOOD WIVES. Featuring a number of b-grade talents (including a pre-Murphy Brown' CANDICE BERGEN) it's hard to believe that as recently as 1985 (when it was made) women wore so much lip gloss. ’ , '■ Not to be outdone by the aforementioned lesbian sex on Television One, TV3 recently broke the porn barrier with CLASS OF 74.

Admittedly only soft porn, but titillating nonetheless, this classic screened one Sunday night after ARSENIO HALL. The film was made even more laughable by the fact that it was obvious everyone in the film was taking it seriously! Probably thought they were making an art film. ; Speaking of which, it's FILM ' - FESTIVAL time in Auckland this month, which means a financial shot in the arm for Cafe owners. You can't just go to a film in Auckland, you have to spend at least 40 minutes afterwards drinking coffee and discussing loudly the merits of the movie. The truly pretentious will also spend 20 minutes before the screening, drinking coffee and discussing loudly the merits of the movie. McDonald's are set to join the CAFE SET with the introduction of its new McCAPPUCHINO. This new product line will be launched in NZ with the opening of their new outlet above BRASHS in Vulcan Lane. This news will no doubt be greeted warmly by the High Street fashion mafia who can now savour the delights of a 95 cent cheeseburger without having to run the gauntlet of ugly black people further up Queen Street. UPPERS BELINDA TODD — How can anyone . not love this woman? She goes where others fear to tread — including the back seat of the Funny Business Hoonmobile! There she was, getting 'gangbanged' by the hoons on telly! during an item on Funny Business. As Trevor De Cleene would put it: 'This woman has testicular ability!" SASSI — Door dolly (they hate that word) at the Box for the last seven years, Sass has finally saved enough of that pitiful salary Grigg was paying her to afford a one way ticket to London. A ray of sunshine on an otherwise dreary night, she will be missed. (But by who I can't say cos that would be too much)! NGAIRE — Herself titled album has been playing in our office for the past fortnight. Our editor liked it so much he bought the (record) company! Actually he already owned it but that's not why I love the album so much. This girl is sooo fine, and the album is smoooth! IN BED WITH MADONNA — Others at the preview said it was fairly warts 'n’all, that she allowed herself to be shown looking quite 'doggy'. We can't have been watching the same film, the woman's a goddess! I must have been gaga the whole 90 minutes. The concert staging was amazing, her dancers were fab-u-lous, and as for - that bit with the bottle at the end . .. DOWNERS HO! HO! IT'S SATURDAY! — Full credit to TVNZ for realising their mistake and whipping this one off after only two weeks (of dismal ratings). Nightclub owners up and down the country must now be rubbing their hands with glee. The show has been moved to 1 1 pm

Saturday to run up againtst TV3's "TVFM" which is a 'guitar orientated' music show. I shouldn't diss it sight unseen, butfunkophiles like myself will have little to stay home for. MADONNA — The conspiracy theory goes like this: Why would a non-smoking fitness freak like Madonna use cigarettes as props in her photo looking for that sexy seductive pose? The answer alleges that she is getting big bucks ' from the Tobacco Companies to promote the glamorous nature of cigarette smoking. Who can say what the truth is. THE BUDGET — Boy, oh boy, oh boy! Predictions include denying the DPB to mums under 18, making parents financially liable if their errant sons can't make the maintenance payments, and a tax on bonking. I have no idea but I know it's going to be bad news, and that crime will increase significantly. CRIME — Listen mate, I know it's tough out there, but there are better ways to make an earner than robbing our flat. Now we've had to spend all that money on security equipment. (I would've done what other people do and gone out and stolen a pitbull, but for the fact I'm allergic to dogs.)