This World of Ours

Radio Record, Volume XII, Issue 35, 10 February 1939, Page 2

This World of Ours

6

JOHN

GUTHRIE

Joseph Goebbels: ‘‘The. German people are really a great ‘companionable community." oe a . : Pond Life Dept. Det ‘‘f}ne morning Lady. -- deseended under the impression that the one remaining animal in the pool was a harmless hippopotamus, but it turned out to be a huge rhinoceros

which charged her like a polo pony.’’-Gossip news. But nothing to the experience of another lady we know, who found a smart interior decorator in her swimming pool, and he charged her like nothing on earth. ut v PS Play The Game, Boys LJ BG2Nr message from our Uncle James draws atiention to a newsline, ‘‘The Housewife Hit By Imported TIronmongery."? ‘*T was astonished and pained to read such a statement at a time like this,’’ writes Uncle James, ‘‘when the country wants all the help it can get to keep it on a decent economic footing. Surely there must be some unpatriotic creatures about when this sort of thing ean still go on. One would think, if only for their own sakes, these creatures would be more discriminating.’’ Now, if ever, Uncle James points out, is the time to raise the ery, "Hit Her with the Home-Made Variety, and Help New Zealand Industries.’’

Heart-Throb -' EWS that an incredible machine which creates human spéech has been invented in U.S.A., controlled by an operator manipulating 11 keys and a foot pedal, has cheered up our younger marrieds no end, says Cousin Wildflower. Controlled electrical currents can produce the voice of an infant child, and Wildflower says that already many of our young couples are going all out for the new invention. They say that the car and the radio and the vacuum cleaner are all very well, but they still feel a yearning at times for the soft, sweet cries of the human young, and the new machine will fill (to coin a phrase) @ long-felt want. All that is needed now, says Wildflower, is a gadget that can be

fitted to it to give the sensation of baby fingers tugging at the heartstrings, and marriage once more will be what tt used to be, or nearly. "*Let us drink to the ommortal memory of Burns.’’-Any speaker at any Burns Night dinner at any place in the world some few nights ago. Satan looked up as a warder entered. ‘‘ What is it?’’ ""There’s an application for late leave, sir,’’ said the warder. ‘*Who is it?’’ said Satan. **Burns, Robt., sir.’ ‘‘What’s he want it for?’’ ‘‘He says sinee he left the planet, where he had a pretty poor spin, he’s heard his fellow countrymen hold parties for him all over the world and he’d like to go to one.’’ ‘*Leave granted,’’ said Satan. %

The members of the Caledonian Burns Society were holding their anniversary dinner in honour of Caledonia’s poet when a man with dark hair curled over a@ white face entered late. Sitiing at the end of the room among some of the wilder spirits, the stranger drank a good deal and soon became noisy. He would interrupt the speakers. and at several stages winked in a marked manner at the wife of the President, City Councillor MclIves, until the councillor said, ‘"Do you know who I am??? **F do not want to,’’ said the stranger. "Dammit man, you behave or I'll have you turned out,’’ said McIves. "I’m a@ city councillor."? "I might have guessed tt,’’ said the stranger, impolitely. As the speakers praised the poet, the stranger persistently interrupted, ** Hear, hear!’’ in @ loud voice. Ad last the stranger jumped on to the table and began to recite a long and incomprehensible poem in which the words loons and canty loons alone were distinguishable. At the unanimous request of the whole company, the stranger was ejected by the police. Order being restorcd, the chairman then proposed thetoast of the evening, ‘The fu mortal Memory.’’ : Satan looked up as_ the warder entered next morning. ‘‘The man Burns,’’ said the warder. ‘‘He’s just back again.’’ ‘*Bring him in,’’ said Satan. ‘Sit down, Mr. Burns. What have they done to your eyes?"’ ‘*They beat me up,’’ said the poet. "Oh, really"? said Satan. ‘‘And what did your friends on the planet have to say to you?’’ *"Not to put too fine a point on it,’’? said the poet, ‘‘they told me once more to go to Hell,’’