This World of Ours

Radio Record, 9 December 1938, Page 12

This World of Ours

Cl 6y

JOHN

GUTHRIE

We shouldn’t be surprised if the Director of the Reserve Bank, at any rate, doesn’t have sterling fun this Christmas. * * * Countess of Mayo: ‘‘A man is brought into the world without being asked. . .. When he is little all the big girls kiss him, and when he is big only the little girls want to.’’ * % *

PRAN CO’S wireless station, Radio Salamanca, prefaces ali newsitems of special importance with two signature tunes. One is the Laurel and Hardy march. The other is "Fhe Big Bad Wolf." % * * Be Prepared EVERYONE had been anxious during the European crisis, said a New Zealander just back from London last week, but while there had been feverish activity in preparing protection against possible air-raids the behaviour of the people had been excellent. ‘‘Everyone had to earry a gas-mask,’’ he said, "and I brought mine back with me.’’ Asked for this page tf on his next visit he intended to souvenir the Dome of St. Paul’s and

any other trifles as well, the | chap indignantly replied that | he had merely brought the gas- | mask out so that it could be lent —

"The chap who used to make the girls get out and walk!" round New Zealand as a protection to the people in the next war. "The idea,’’ said the chap, "will be to rush v% to whatever city is attacked in turn. When the citizens have finished with it at Auckland, they can send at on to Wellington, and then to Christchurch and then Dune-

din and so on. No one, says this chap, will be able to say we were wholly unprepared. * * # Cousin Wildflower How many of Wellington's citizens visit the Botanical Gardens? asked the Mayor of the city striking a somewhat sombre note at the opening of the Wellington rose show the other day. ‘‘Not nearly as many as should go,’’ said the Mayor sadly, answering his own question. Interviewed on the matter later, Cousin Wildflower said in his opinion the Mayor took too gloomy a view of the situation altogether. ‘‘His Worship should look on the bright side,’? said Cousin Wildflower. ‘‘You’d think that nobody ever went to the gardens at all. Not so. As a@ faci, i is pretiy common knowledge that there are more Naturelovers in most of our New Zealand cities than meet the eye. ""Tf his Worship cares to come with me for a tour of any of owr city gardens on one of these balmy summer evenings after dark,’’ says Cousin Wildflower, "he’d be surprised."’ = .% "x

ns " aed Artist Cousin Hobnail PLANS for a national keep-fit | week this summer having been announced in the Press, no cad will be able to say he didn’t know about it. Even now, we hear, squads of Fitness Girls are being signed up as a Blonde Guards corps, armed with rubber truncheons to go round keeping the citizenry up to the mark, and pretty severe penalties are likely to be imposed on anyone found not doing his daily dozen, The Blonde Guard is pretty keen about the whole business and already there is talk among the girls of taking a strong line against a fright- | ful slacker of a life-saver who

was seen on the beach last week-end wearing a _ wristlet watch with five jewels in it, Artist Cousin Hobnail, however, says when that week comes, he is himself prepared to go to the guillotine for his faith that fitness from the neck up is

a far, far better thing than fitness from the neck down. When the bell sounds for morning exercises that week, says Cousin Hobnail, he will deliberately don a flowered dressing gown, light an Egyptian cigarette and begin reading a French novel. When seized by the shack troop of Fitness Girls and hurried into the tumbril for the trip to the guillotine, he says he will vide through the jeering, hoot-

ing mob with a thin disdainful aristocratic smile, holding @ scented handkerchief to hs nose. We shall know him, says Hobnail, by his air of hauteur and. the fact that he may 6e seen carelessly tipping a wink at the third Blonde Guard from the end of the front rank if, be she’s passable and not too beefy about the ankles from overtraining. Ermyntrude | NEWS that a black Alsatian | dog from New Zealand, | rising three years old, has got | a job in the films was coldly | yeceived by Ermyntrude the

cat. "You seem oa trifle jealous," we said to Ermynirude. "Not at all,’’? said Hrmyntrude. "Well, you don’t seem very enthusiastic.’’ ‘‘Why should I be?"’ ‘‘He is a New Zealander. In fact, if one may say so, you seem @ bit catty about it.’’ "Trust you to say the obvious. If by catty you mean cool, I am eool about it. I don’t see him making much of a success as @ film star. How often has the dumb fish been married and divoreed ?"’ "Of course, your matrimonial adventures would entitle you to the lead in any film.’’ ‘‘A girl must keep herself in the public eye,’’ said HErmyntrude. ‘‘I see Joan Crawford’s parting from Fvanchot Tone.’’ ‘‘What’s that got to do with at??? "‘T was thinking of giving that Ginger Puss a miss myself next week,’’ said Ermyntrude. "Don’t you love him any more?’ "Oh, yes. In a way."’ "Then, why part from hin?’ ‘‘Why not?’’ said Ermyn- ; trude.

CHRISTMAS MESSAGES FROM OUR LITTLE FRIENDS We took the liberty of asking one or two of our ittle friends for Christmas messages to our "Record" readers. They kindly responded. Aunt Agatha: | heartily decline. The family was respectable before you started dragging it into print. Cousin Wildflower: All little girls, and big ones, too, should remember that this is the season of loving kindness. Artist Cousin Hobnail: | am too busy painting to do anything for you, though Heaven knows the page needs something to brighten it up. ‘1 am painting a still life of a Christmas pudding. {t will be called Design for Dying. It is a knock-out. Ermyntrude the Cat: | was not aware you had any readers.