This World of Ours

Radio Record, Volume XII, Issue 25, 2 December 1938, Page 2

This World of Ours

6y

JOHN

GUTHRIE

ee Herr Gocbbels has declared a Christmas holiday from crisis for Europe, + . % Hugh Herbert: ‘‘When I can’t’ sleep, I get up and watch the goldfish. The first thing I know, one of them will gape at me. Then I yawn at him. We keep this up for a few minutes, and usually I’m so sleepy that 1 can’t find my way back to my bedroom."’ * O0.K., Shoot! THESE days a good deal is being written about the new method of diplomacy introduced by Mr. Chamberlain, and % %

~~ {some say that too much weight ean be placed on.the policies of | direct action. Flying to Berehtesgaden and all that may be well enough up to a point, say | the grousers, but what will happen next time if Mr. Chamberlain fails to soften the heart of Herr Hitler? The film boys, however, are not dismayed at any such prospect. They still have a card up their sleeve. If Big Shot Chamberlain |falls down on one of these. visits, lsay the film boys, the world can jjeave it to them to put things right. The film boys say they had it all fixed last time, if Mr. Chamberlain had failed, for little Shirley Temple -|teo be sent over to Berchtesgaden hidden in a basket of fruit, and when the Fuehrer was gnawing his way through the first layer of apples he would have come across -{a lovely sleeping child, who would bave got out of the basket, stretched ‘herself and given a tapdance on the table. Then the wee girlie would have looked at the .{Fuehrer in her soft appealing way

and said: "Are you Dick Tater?" Winding herself round the Fuehrer’s heart in an instant, little Shirley would have soon become his playmate until the moment would come when-just on the point of ordering his-air force to pomb Prague to bits-the Fuehrer would have toyed idly with the passport round Shirley’s neck and suddenly found she was a Czechoslovakian orphan. There would have been a grand scene then, chock full of human interest, the Fuehrer making the Big Choice between bombing Czechoslovakia and wounding little Shirley’s love of him for life.

At the moment when he decides for little Shirley, cameramen would spring out of their hiding places and get ready for the scene in which Shirley throws her arms round the Fuehrer’s neck and says, "‘T like you, Dick Tater, you’re @ nice man,’’? and the producer was to say: ""O.K., boys, shoot.’’ Only thing the film boys are not sure about is what will happen when the producer gets that litlle phrase off his chest. ue % Es] NEW grounds for divorce were put forward by Mrs. Bertha Carter, of Trenton, N. Jersey. Explained petitioner Carter: "Th gets sizaply too monotonous having to eut down my husband every time he tries to annoy me by hanging himself." % Town Talk HOPES expressed last week by the District Governor of Rotary for New Zealand that the eountry will put itself out to make things attractive for tourists from abroad are likely to be realised in at least one vespect if we can believe what one High Authority told us with a naughty simper last week. "Don’t go publishing this, ’ he said, ‘‘beeause we don’t want to rouse opposition at this stage, but I tell you in confidence that we ave smacking things along in our plans for the cabaret at the Centennial "Exhibition. It will be got up in pretty modern style and we think it will make the ca 2

Night Club boys and girls of | New York and London sit up | and rub their eyes. ) "We are calling it The Garden. of My Grandmother,’’ he said. ‘‘There will be a bar at one end for the service of patrons. Squads of Girl Guides will be engaged each evening to ‘give turns in between the dances. The turns will be somewhat on the lines of the floor shows at the Berkeley and the London Casino, but instead of Apache dances and degrading scenes like that the girls will give utterly decent exhibitions of Swedish drill and hockey. The bar I spoke of,’’ said the High Authority, ‘will be @ milk bar. We are getting special permits to stay open until 10 o’clock, but on gala nights we may go on till 10.30. We think that will be late enough, don’t you? And lots of the tourists we've mentioned it ta unselfishly say they wouldn’t mind a scrap if a@ show like this doesn’t open at all.’? % % Oh, My Aunt! CHiEME recommended at the Plunket Society Conference last week for a voluntary ‘‘aunts’’ brigade, made up of voluntary ‘‘aunts,’? who will give up a. few hours weekly to help mothers by looking after their children, came as a shock to young Cousin Wilfred Wildflower. "The mater is just the one to muscle in on this racket to get someone to look after me," said Cousin Wildflower sourly, our cousin’s experience of aunts being that of the character of the Master Wodehouse, who remarked that, at the baying of his aunts, strong men climbed trees and pulied the trunks up after them. "T do think the Plunket Society ought to be more careful in what it recommends," said Cousin Wiidilower bitterly. "A well-mean-ing: society, no doubt, but shortsighted." But when we saw Cousin Wildflower again only a few days ago, he was radiant about the scheme.

The mater being away, he told us, he had put in an application for himself and chosen an aunt to look after him on his own. , Slim and blonde she was, with a neat way of squeezing into the seat of the low rakish two-seater sports car that Cousin Wildflower affects. "Of course, she’s a bit on the young side for an Aunt,’’ said Cousin Wildflower when we met the other day, ‘‘but lots of odd things happen in this life. Just a few evenings ago, I read a queer tale about a chap who, brothers and sisters had he none

but that man’s father was his father’s son. Well, we’ve got to rush along now. I’m taking Auntie to sce the view from the hills by moonlight this evening. Toodleloo, old boy. Are you ready, Auntie??? "Step on it, baby,’? said Auntie, adding with a girlish laugh, "‘Oh, you Plunket!’’