The Amazing Adventures Of Gary Polo

Radio Record, 3 June 1938, Page 25

The Amazing Adventures Of

Gary Polo

A Fairy Story, With Humblest Apologies To Sam Goldwyn

Hf FIND it hard to treat Samuel i Goldwyn’s "Adventures of Marco Polo" with quite the reverential awe usually accorded to anything that has so obviously cost such an enormous amount af money. Still, I doubt if Mr. Goldwyn himself would expect us to regard his film as a serious contribution to history; and the latitude which he has shown in producing it will, I trust. not be grudged to me in reviewing it. One might, of course, try the poetic approach (with apologies to SS. T. Coleridge) :- Ln Hollywood did Goldicyn (Samy) A super-spectacle decree... .. No, that’s, going to be too difficult; so if Miss (. A. Lejeune (and Mr, Goldwyn) will pardon the liberty, I think J’ll humbly borrow Miss Lejeune’s priceless technique of the critical questionnaire: Eastward, Ho! Q.: Who was Marco Polo? A.: Mareo Polo was wa handsome young American whose real name was Gary Cooper, and he went to China seven centuries ago. ().: But there weren't any Americans seven centuries ago, were there? A.: No, of course not, silly. Don't he so tactless, In this story the young American was supposed to be a Venetian, Q.: Why did he go to China? A.: Beeause his father told him to, and also because the Love of Adyenture was in his blood. You see, he was the world’s first travelling salesman. ().: And did he know any good stories’ A.: He must haye, All the pretty Goldwyn girls in Venice were in love with him. ().: How did he get to China? A.: First he went by boat, but there was a terrifie storm and the boat sank, end two Arah horsemen pulled him and his travelling companion out of the Brown Sea, Q.: What do yon mean-the Brown Sea? A.: Welt, it looked brown. Phe whole picture was brown, Sepia, they call il, but it’s really brown,

A Long Walk Q.: What happened efter they were ruuiked out of the Brown Sea? A.: They rode on horses till there was a sandstorm in Persia. and then they walked to Peking. ().: All the way? A.: So I gathered, Q@.: Lt must be a terribly long picture? A.: Oh, no, not when you have a director who knows how to photograph. maps and weary feet and mountains and roads and more maps. They reached Peking about five scenes and ten seconds later, Q.: Still walking? Av: Well, Gary Polo was earrying his funny friend on his back. His friend had sore feet and wanted to lie down and die, but they couldn’t let the Comie Relief die so early in the pieture, e Q.: I suppose they felt very strange when they got to Peking? Little Black Bag A,: Oh, not at all! They found that the Chinese and the Venetians and the Americans all spoke the same language, And almost the first person they saw was a monk out of "The Lost Horizon," Only he'd got married and raised a family since then. Q.: What else was he doing? Av: Making gunpowder and talking

Chinese epigrams like Charlie Chan. He gave Gary Polo some fire-crackers and some spaghetti to put in his little black bag. That was Very Symbolic, you know. It meant he had to bring back a blessing and a curse to Western Civilisation. Also it cleared up that Silly legend about Roger Bacon introducing gunpowder to Hurope, Q.: What’s all thig about x little black bag? A.: I forgot to tell you that. It was what Marco Cooper had to carry the little things that change history. His ather gave it to him before he started hiking. Later on he put a piece of coal in it-another clever Chinese invention. Q.: When are we coming to the Love Interest ? Khan and Cur A.: Patience! Culture comes first. Next they went to the stately pleasure dome that Samuel Goldwyn decreed and met dear old George Barbier, dressed up like an Oriental Wather Christmas, Q.: What for? A.: Beeause he was Kublai Khan and ruled an empire measureless to man. But there was dirty work afoot -partieularly dirty work. It was Basil Rathbone. He was a Saracen and his name was Ahmed, and he kept vultures and lions in his livinge room and fed them on mutinoug Mongols. Anyone but George Barbier would know at once he was not at all a snifable Prime Minister.

Q.: Can’t we have some Love Interest soon. The Love Interest A.: Any moment now; but first. Gary Polo had to win the confidence and gratitude of the Khan by picking a beauty chorus for him from Goldwyn Girls collected from all over Asia. The Khan wasn’t much of a picker, but Gary had a System. He asked each girl, how many teeth has a snapping turtle? It was very clever, really. Q.: And was one of these girls the heroine? A.: Oh, dear, no! The heroine was Princess Kukachin, the Khan’s favourite daughter, She had eyebrows plucked slantwise and a Norwegian accent. Gary Polo met her among the cherry blossoms, only she was betrothed to marry the King of Persia at the seventh moon. The dialogue at this point was very poetic, but I was surprised to find how backward the Chinese. were. Q.: What do you mean? Kissing Lesson A.: Well, they’d never even heard about kissing. Gary gave a _ fourminute lesson to the Princess, but she was rather indiscreet. Q.: How de you mean? A.: She did it in front of a guard and the guard thought it funny but he told the dirty dog Ahmed and Ahmed didn’t think it was at all funny because he knew what kissing meant (he not being Chinese, only a Saracen) and he told the Khan and the Khan told Gary Polo he must become a spy and go to the western part of China where Alan Hale was revolting and... Q.: Why are you so breathless? A.: Well, who wouldn’t be breathless after four minutes’ kissing? Q.: Why was Alan Hale revolting? A.: Because the story was written that way, and because he wore sheep-

skins and boiled people in oil. Q.: Did he boil Gary in oil? Back in Peking A.: Really, you ARE simple! Gary was the HERO. No, he made Gary his friend because he wasn’t much of a spy anyway, and because Alan Hale’s wife

‘Binnie Barnes) took a faney to him and that left Alan Hale free to cuddle a Goldwyn Girl. Q.: There must have been a lot of Goldwyn Girls. A.: What do you expect in a Goldwyn picture? ).: What happened then? A.: Kublai Khan, having heard an-

cestral yoices prophesying war, marched, off with his army and a lot of noise to conquer Japan; but of course there was a typhoon and the army sank. Q.: Why "of course there was a typhoon"? A.: Because: Ahmed had said all along there would be one, and laid his plans accordingly. Q.: What plans? A.: Why, to usurp the throne, and marry the Princess, of course. But being a Saracen, he wanted it legal, so he waited until Kublai Khan came back with the remnants of his sunken army and then he showed the Khan his daughter tied up in front of the hungry vultures, and he said to the Khan what about it? And the Khan being a very fatherly Khan, had to say yes. And the Princess looked even more unhappy than the yultures, who had only lost a good meal, and She decided to kill herself anyway. Q.: It sounds very exciting, Was it? The Big Fight A.: Yes. The time had come for Action, Suspense and Spectacle. Marco Polo dashed out of the far-away, revolting province, straight into Peking, and he dressed up to look like Gary Cooper wearing a Chinese hat, and (thus disguised as a beggar), he reached the Princess just as she was about to stab herself fatally. Then Alan Hale, who had given up being revolting, dashed up with the Cast of Five Thousand on horseback and stormed the walls, But they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it if Gary hadn’t blown up the gate with gunpowder. Then they all rushed inside and fought like Tartars (which they were). Q.: What wag Ahmed doing all this while? A.: He was trying to get married. But the Princess put him off cleverly until Gary was able to arrive singlehanded and stop the ceremony and feed the dirty dog to his own lions, . Q.: So then I suppose Gary and the Princess got married instead? A.: Well. that is what one would like to suppose; but you see the Princess Wis still signed up to marry the King of Persia at the seventh moon. However, Gary, having filled his littie black bag and signed trade agreements with the Khan, said he would escort the Princess to Persia himself. And as he said they would go there by way of the South Seas (and, presumably, via Panama), 1 suppose anything might have happened, Q.: And tell me, what did rou really think of this picture? a.: [ thought it was yory amusing, {"The Adventures of Marco Polo," Goldwyn-United Artists. Directed by Archie Mayo, starring Gary Cooper. Just released.] Patched Up BARBARA STANWYCK has come ro an agreement with Radio after :- ing suspended for three months © for refusing a part the sindio had planned for her. Her stand is calenlated °o have cost her abour £25,000, A new story is now being seught.