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Radio Record, Volume VIII, Issue 42, 26 April 1935, Page 8

Relentless Reprisals A Retaliatory Rhyme by WILL BISHOP [ am told certain learned and live legislators So, a5 really relentless repri- Have lately been modestly heard to declare sals are needed That to broadcast their prowess a8 doughty debaters With such a distressing Would make a most popular hit on the air. disaster in view, intend to produce (if and Wheretofore with the lilt of loquacious orationg when superseded) Displaying superlative statesmanship ripe, Political plans [ propoge to They propose to replace our dull disseminations pursue: Of what they term pure, unadulterate tripe: 1 submit for the purpose of For with all these inferior artist8 appearing clearly explaining They frankly opine you are fulsomely Fed. How perfectly just are the And, in consequence, avidly bent upon hearing claims 'of my cause Their virtuous views ventilated instead, That if learned law-makers propose entertaining, Then I can resort to the ma king of laws. They apFear to as- sume you are Having printed the words of my latest successes In gold on tke backs of nice new five-pound notes, patiently yearn- shall issue the- same as election addresses; ing Thus making quite sure of securing your votes: To tune in their magical voices Having sampled their querulous quips about quotas And listened in awe to their wisdom profound, and hear One can easily guess what intelligent voters The maternal M.P: Will do when (if ever) elections: come round_ c 0 nscientiously And although as a rule I avoid prophesying, earning As soon as your very next Parliament meets, His paltry four You will probably find Uncle Bill occupying With dignified mien the two principal seats. hundred a n d fifty per year. So [ smile at the critics who seek to efface me, For should they succeed and secure me the sack Then, in spite of the fact that the means may disgrace me Thus in future their mean to adopt them and stave a come-back_ keen acrimoni- ous clashes With dauntless display of the courage which teaches The world that we Britishers never despair, May p 0 8 sib l y will even descend to political speeches And tlunderous booms Onl the party brighten your And thus once again find a place on the air- big drum: boredom a bit, More especially 80 when enlivened by Alashes OF dainty and delicate Frageresque wit: You may furthermore find it a boon and a blessing To listen with joy to the nightingale notes Of: a petulant Polson politely profegsing Profound admiration he Feels for a Coates. With a gay and grandiloquent grinding of axes And thunderous booms on the party big drum, They would treat you to topical talks upon taxes While dud local turns are for evermore dumb. So the artist who strives to be mildly amusing Must mournfully view with the gravest concern The alarmingly pitiful prospect of loging Those fabulous fecs he pretended to carn, "1 Pure unadulterate tripe."