LAUGH — and the world laughs with you

Radio Record, Volume VI, Issue 10, 16 September 1932, Page 3

LAUGH — and the world laughs with you

Few of us realise how much we owe to "the man who makes us laugh," whether he be a story teller or writer, a comedian or an unconscious humourist. And so, at a | time like this, when there is‘a tendency for us to lose sight of our sense of humour, this talk is a timely one. ‘A talk broadcast from 3YA

by

E. J.

BELL

f Ar™ost everybody can enjoy a good joke . or a good story. The man or woman who cannot must be very rare. To-day when that word, depression, is so prevalent, I think a good story or a good joke must surely act as a tonic. Take a gathering of men, for instance. | What happens? Someone tells a funny story, which is enjoyed by all those present, and it immediately puts them all into a good mood; -they feel jolly, and for the moment cares and worries of business are entirely forgotten. Everyone is happy. That is just what we want to-day; plenty of fun, plenty of laughter. Whether or not a gathering of ladies is equally as jolly is difficult to say. It may be, of course, that the ladies possess a different sense of humour, and that some of our stories would make no impression upon them. I wonder? Undoubtedly, England still possesses an abundance of humour and wit. In the past she has produced writers and poets who were born humourists, and we have enjoyed: the entertainment which they have given us. Their world was different to ours, and their humour, too, was different. Going back to the last century, we have only tc mention the humour of Charles Dickens, especially that of Pickwick, a great comic character and the creation of a master mind. Then, for a moment, take that master of fun, Jerome K. Jerome. Who could help being amused with his book, "Three Men in a Boat," a book which is still selling in thousands to-day? Think of Mr: Wodehouse with his comic characters, "Jeeves" and "Bertie Wooster," and many others too numerous to mention. . : Mr. K. R: G. Browne is another writer brimful of fun. I wonder if you have made the acquaintance of: Eve, a charming person in the book, "Suburban Days," by Mr. Browne? Eve goes to the tailor’ with her husband. She selects

the colour of his suit tor him, and makes him feel very uncomfortable when she tells the tailor to "give him plenty of room round hisggrms because he waves them about when he’s excited." And later on, when the tailor suggests two pairs of trousers. ‘"Certainly," said Eve. ‘Then he can wear one pair and sleep on the other." No wonder Eve’s husband, seized his hat and stumbled out into the street. Any man would, with a wife saying things like that to his tailor. Another master of humour is W. W. Jacobs, with his merry nightwatchmen and his jolly sailormen and their wives:and sweethearts. If you do not know Mr. Jacobs, then please try one of his many funny books. You'll feel all the better for it, The English people have. always been fond of comedians, and of-fooling. Away: back in the Elizabethan days, when the stage

was in its infancy, clowns, comedians, and jesters were favourites with the people. It is the same to-day. We most of us love the funny man, the man who can make us laugh. How many of us have laughed at the absurdities of Charlie Chaplin? We did not need to hear his voice, but one watched the shrugging of the shoulders, the lifting of the eyebrows, the tilt of his bowler hat, and the twirl of the cane. All these things brought laughter. Most likely many of my listeners can call to mind such folks as George Robey, Chirgwin, Gus Elen, Sam Mayo, and Wilkie Bard, all great humourists of their day, each with his own particular style of fun, each out to make iaughter, and each succeeding. Cockney humour, naturally, belongs to certain parts of London, but it must not be confused with English or London humour. The three are distinct. The cockney usually furnishes amusement with his ignorance, but in some ways he is very witty. A cockney street hawker was once selling toothcombs, and was worrying an old gentleman to buy one. ‘‘What," said the old chap, whipping off his hat, "What do I want a toothcomb for? I’m bald." "Lor, bless, yer, governor," replied the hawker, "yer don’t want any ’air on yer ’ead for a tooth-| comb !" . COTLAND, I suppose, owes much to those’ comic characters, Jock and Sandy. The music-hall has developed both, and they are usually known in the ranks of the army, and at most gatherings of Scots. Humour abounds in Scotland, and countless stories have been told of ministers; elders, judges and lawyers. The Scottish people get all the credit for being canny. They always have the reputation of being very fond of the "bawbee." This is one of their characteristics, and they enjoy being bantered about it, just as they always enjoy a reference

to their love of porridge, whisky, and the bagpipes.

Have you heard the story of Sandy, a Scottish lad

who went to live in London? Sandy was very lonely.

Fie was staying in a boardinghouse, and one evening he

got out the pipes, walked up atid down the floor of his room, and played some stirring Scottish music. Presently, a maid came up to ask him to cease, because the other boarders could not stand the noise. After a few moments Sandy commenced again. This time the proprietor himself went up and told him to stop. ‘"‘Ah, weel," said Sandy,: "I. thought it was all right, as I had taken! my boots off." Have you made _ the. acquaintance of Mr. J. J. Bell, the Scottish author, who made his name with that amusing book, ‘""Wee Macgreegor," a story of Glasgow life? This book appeared in 1902, and since that date has probably reached a sale of 500,000 (Continued on page 9.)'

LAUGH-and the world laughs with you

(Continued from page 3.)

copies. When we come to Wales we find that comic character Taffy. The Welsh language has been responsible for many good jokes, and it still survives as a spoken tongue, Thoge of us who have spent a good deal of time in Wales ate well acquainted with the delightful sing-song voices of the Welsh folks. These people have very vivid imaginations, and they cannot resist the opportunity to improve a story. The Welsh are noted for their great interest in religion, and many of their -~

jokes concern preachers and their utterances. Some of the Welsh preachers possessed fiery eloquence, but they also possessed wit and humour. Wales has given us some splendid orators and wits in the British Parliament. Welsh is said to be one of the oldest living languages in Europe-indeed, one old ‘preacher stated that Welsh was the language spoken by Adam and Hye in Paradise. Can anyone say it was not? . Old Stephen Jenkins was an elo= quent preacher and was witty. Once, in reading the third chapter of Daniel, in which the list of musical instruments is four times mentioned, he read the names of the instruments the first time, but when it came to the second, third and fourth time he relieved the confiregation by reading with the utmos+gravity "and the band played as before"! It is said of the Irish people that they quickly see a joke but are dull in making them. Illustrating this, one writer states that a joke was once made in the House of Commons in themidst of a dull debate, The Irish members roared with laughter. A few minutes later the Bnglish members smiled. . An hour later the Seottish members chuckled quietly. However, the Irish people have a wide reputation for wit and humour, It is imported into almost every incident. and detail of Irish lifé, and I think. that no people excel the Irish in smart and ready replies, . An old Irish woman was being crossexamined in court, "Tell the court

how the stairs run in your house," said the lawyer. "Shure, when. I’m oop stairs they run down, and when I’m downstairs they run oop." A very witty reply, too. One day an Irish priest called at Pat's house and. found that gentleman hanging from a tafter, a rope around his waist. "What's the idea, Pat?" said the priest. "Och, I’m fed up. with life and thought I’d hang meself," said Pat. The priest explained that it was usual to put the rope around the neck. "I know, father, but when I tried that way, sure I couldn’t draw me breath." Indeed, every phase of life has its humorous aspect, and in almost every calling there occur amusing incidents that serve to relieve the monotony of the daily round. Medical men always enjoy a‘ joke, especially if that joke or story is told against them. A doctor had attended a wealthy lady for many years, and she told him lots of times that. she would remember him in. her will. In due course she died, and naturally the doctor wondered what he would receive. The will stated that she had bequeathed him the eontents of a certain room. Going to that room he found it full of the bottles of medicine and the pills which. he had prescribed for many years. Of course sometimes . doctors are wearied by the patient’s complaints, and one doctor, after listening to a4 very long recital of Miss Smith’s many ailments, was heard to remark that he had just attended an organ recital, A well-known dentist was about to leave his surgery when the phone rang, It was a patient who wanted attention to a bad tooth, "I cannot give you an appointment this day," the dentist replied, "I have eighteen cavities to fill." ‘He hung up the receiver and picked up his golf clubs. In real iife many of the things that amuse us occur in the course of conversaition, A child amuses us with. its funny questions, and its absurd sayings. For instance, a little girl —

was crossing a London street with her mother -when she observed that straw had been laid down outside one of the houses. She inquired why this had been done, and was told that it was to deaden the noise of traffic becatige a lady was ill and that a wee baby had arrived that morning. "Dear me, mainma," said the little girl, "it sgems to have' required a good deal of packing." , An, authoress took her little girl shopping, and they visited the butcher. "What is that stuff, mummy?" said the child, pointing to a dish. "Tripe, dear," replied the mother. ‘"That’s funny," replied the child, "Daddy says that’s the stuff you write." An election canvasser rang the doorbell of a small house; it was answered by a little girl who said that her father was out. "And what colour is your father, my dear?" said he, referring to the question of political colour, "Well," she replied, "he used to be ginger, but he is very bald now." Hlections give-scope for the heckler and quite often the hecklers do not always get things their own way, honours going. to the harassed eandidate in some amusing encounters, I recollect one general election when I was in London. One of the candidates was quite a young man, he looked almost boyish. A wag in the crowd called out, "I say, does your mother know you are out?" "Oh, yes," instantly replied the young candidate, "she told me to stay out until I got in." This sally won him a friendly hearing to the end of his speech, and a hearty cheer, too. The late Lord Birkenhead once ventured to state "that the proceedings in courts of justice are so tedious that there arises a great temptation to alleviate them by humour even if one has nothing amusing to say. Hven a poor joke is a welcome alternative to the duliness of law-court proceedings." Anyhow, it is to the legal fraternity that we must turn for some of the best humour. Many of the great English Judges and some of the magistrates have been extremely witty. Many also possessed the rare gift »f sarcasm, while others possessed a great idea of the dignity of their position. Mr. Justice Park was-a gtickler for forensic propriety, and he often caused amusement by his remarks. At Chelmsford the sheriff appeared one day in a buff-coloured waistcoat. His lordship glared at it for some time, and pres-_ ently remarked: "I cannot sit here, sir, and behold that waistcoat any longer." | The late Mr. Justice Alpers introduced a breezy and fresh atmosphere into. court life in New Zealand. If you have not already tasted of that excellent book of his , "Cheerful Yesterdays." I would advise you to doso. Since the original publication it has been issued in a chéaper form and’ is well worth the money. The whole volume is full of wisdom and humour relating to the Bench and Bar in New Zealand, and it contains some good stories of Christchurch and West Coast Courts in particular. Witnesses are often responsible for a cousiderable amount of humour when

ape answering questions. For instance, a witness was examined at a trial of an ‘action for the price of some goods . Which had ‘been returned because they --e = -- were not up to sample. "Did you see the oats returned?" "Yes, your Honour,".was the reply. "On what grounds did he refuse to accept them?" "In the back-yard, your Honour," replied the witness, much to the amusement of the cour ‘A magistrate heard ‘an assault case between man and wife. The magistrate at last said: "My good man, I cannot do anything for you." "But she has cut a piece of my ear off, sir," After ° moment or two the magistrate said: "Well, I will bind her over to keep the peace." "But you can’t," shouted the man, "she’s. thrown it away." ° A nervous young barrister once made a funny transposition of words when he remarked at the conclusion of his speech: "I perceive I am addressing a beery wench. I beg your ‘ Lordship’s pardon-I meant to say a weary. bench." These few instances serve to show how ' humour is easily produced under somewhat serious occasions, ,; The public library opens out a very wide .field for the study of mankind. All sorts and conditions of men and women frequent its rooms, and during the course of my thirty-two years of library work I can recall many humorous incidents which have occurred both in New Zealand and in England. Nowadays the library is regarded as a general bureau of information, and this . led an American librarian to describe humorously a day in a library.

Folks interrupt my perfect ease By asking questions such as these: How tall rwveas prehistoric man? How old, I pray, was sister Ann? What should you do if cats have fits? What woman first invented mitts? What dictionary is the best? Did Brummell wear a satin vest? How do you use the catalogue? Oh, hear that noise, is that my :dog? Have you @ book on fear? Do you mind if I leave baby here? Such questions asked in good faith, it is'a pleasure to answer, but it often happens that the librarian is used as a.tool by cross-word puzzle seekers; and it does not occur to these peopie that the librarian or the members of his staff have worked out the answers for themselves. But he must preserve a calm state of mind under all circumstances. Another source of humour is that of the peculiarities of book titles, and the twists given them by borrowers. We were once asked whether we had the book "Benjamin and His Tribe," but found out that the book required was actually "Joseph and His Brethren," by Freeman. Another time we had inquiries for the "Lady With the Lamp," which at first was thought to be a life of Florence Nightingale. It turned ont to be "A Lantern in Her Hand," by Bess Aldrich. One could give many instances. of this kind, but . time will not permit. , Finally, I turn to thet latest science. and even this is not free from ‘humour, Only last week I. heard an announcement that the next item "would be the "Queen of the Earth," followed.by the "Wolf,’ which sounded rather amusing, and one hoped that the ‘wolf did ‘not bite the queen. The following is a radio recipe which a. young bride asked her husband, to copy down.: He did his best, but got’ :two stations at once, One was

— broadcasting a recipe, and the other physical exercise instructions. This is what he wrote :- Hands on hips. Place one cup of flour on the shoulders. Raise knees and depress toes, and: mix thoroughly in half a cup of milk. Repeat six times. Inhale quickly, one-half teaspoonful of baking powder, lower the legs and mash two hard boiled eggs een -- . . °

ina basin: Breathe naturally and sift into a bowl. Attention. Lie flat on the floor and rot! the white of an egg until it comes to-a boil. In ten minutes remove. from the fire and rub smartly with a rough towel. Breathe naturaly, dress in warm flannels, serve with fish