Looking on the Brighter Side

Radio Record, Volume IV, Issue 23, 19 December 1930, Page 8

Looking on the Brighter Side

A Cheerful Correspondent UITE a number of New Zealand listeners are troubled with electrical interference, and it will probably be of some consolation to those unfortunates to learn that their fellow-listeners in many countries are. much worse off in this respect. This is particularly the case. in America, where the widespread use of electricity for every conceivable purpose is a serious drawback to troublefree . reception. However, every problem has its lighter side, which in this case is well illustrated by the following amusing letter contained in a Canadian electrical journal :- ' "Friend Joe,‘You may not know it, but I reside on the north-east corner of Summer and Barret Streets, in a brick veneer house, comfortably mortgaged. The mortgage doesn’t perturb me much, but a transformer on a pole south of my mortgage on Barret Street, causes me acute misery, not to mention un--speakable anguish. The transformer, I am informed and believe, is the property and corporate holding of a ‘benevolent institution doing business under the name and style of Southern You-tell-me-one Company, of which you are the local Big Gun. . "What I am getting at is that last evening, when radio reception all over the town was remarkably clear and pellucid, th: disturbance which erupted from my all-electric set sounded like the patter of spring rain on a red-hot stove. The first selection on the Palm Olive Hour was like unto the Battle of the Marne, with effects. ‘The effects were contributed, presumably, by the Southern Interference Company, incorporated under’ the laws of ---. The second number ‘(introduced by Philipps Carlin, with -staecato accompaniment) was a weird ‘ yepresentation of Feeding Time in the Zoo. We distinctly heard the roar o£ the famished lions, the strident yelp of the hyenas and sibilant hiss‘ing of the boa constrictors, all furnished presumably by the Statie Dis"ability Company, a corporation organised and persisting contrary to the Statute in. such case made and pro- . vided. The third number, I think. "Was Fun in the Foundry, with a stun‘ning climax, representing the blowing up of the whole damn works, the falling of debris on/tin roofs, the siren shrieks of the fire department and the agonised wails of dying foundry--men-all sound effects by the -- Sputterin’ Inferno Company, a conspiracy organised and operating on a frequency of 500,000 discontented kilowatts. At this point, we wrecked the radio, wrapped our ears in hot towels, and slunk to our couch like quarry slaves scourged to the dun_geon. "IT think, Joe, your naughty little xilowatts are running around at night, wasting the kilowatt hours in ungodly revelry. They are badly trained; they think every night HalHallowe’en, and go yelling around our block, necking and sparking, and making life miserable for staid house‘holders. I know that kilowatts must have their fling but keep them in at nights and teach them some manners.

I am a patient man, but if I ever find one of your kilowatts pedalling around my screen-grid on his little kilocycle, I’m goin to grab him and shake the brat until the sparks fly. I never killed. a watt, but another night of torture like last and the --- Stentorian Dynamic Dissonance Company, a corporation disorganised and existing under the laws of Gehenna, will be holding kilowatt obsequies. . . ." Statically yous,