In Lighter Vein

Radio Record, Volume III, Issue 30, 7 February 1930, Unnumbered Page

In Lighter Vein

Wasting His Time. Maid: "The master do write a lot, mum," ; Mistress: "Yes, Susan, he’s writing a book." Maid: "Lor,’ mum, fancy ’im going to all that trouble when ’e could buy one for sixpence." Not Quite a Cellar Full. The banker asked a man who was trying to borrow money: "How much have you in the way of immediate liquid assets?’ To which his American cousin cautiously replied, "About a case and a half." A Curious Song. A dear old lady had just returned from her first visit to France. "And what impressed you most?’ she was asked. "Well," she replied, after a moment or two’s thought, "I think it was the French pheasants singing the mayonnaise."

Repentance. "The best way to cut a person," says a writer, "is to give the impression ‘that you are unaware of his existence." Many husbands are wishing they could cut the lawn like that. Profitable Advertising. Tron and brass bedsteads; 5/- down, rust weekly.-Advt. in a Daily Paper. There are other methods of selling iron bedsteads. Exactly. Housewife: "Now, did you notice that pile of wood in the yard?" Swagger: "Yes’m, I seen it." Housewife: "You should mind your grammar. You mean you saw it." Swagman: "No’m. You saw me see it, but you ain’t seen me saw it." Quite Certain. The solicitor was trying to be funny at the expense of an old countryman. "But wise men doubt things; only fools are sure of their case," said the man Of law. "Are you sure of that?’ queried the witness. , "Yes, absolutely," was the reply. A Dark Story. It was pitch dark in the room. He struck a watch to see what time it was.-Short Story. It is very doubtful if ithe watch would tell him after such rough treatment.