In Lighter Vein

Radio Record, Volume III, Issue 29, 31 January 1930, Unnumbered Page

In Lighter Vein

Compensation. A soldier in hospital with a maimed hand asked the nurse if he would be able to play the piano when his hand had been treated. She replied brightly, "Yes,.of course you will!" "A’ woel," he reflected, "thot? s a guid thing, for I couldna’ befoor." ‘The Insult. The traffic officer raised his: hand and the lady motorist stopped with a jerk. Said the officer, as he drew out his little book, "As soon as I saw you come round the bend, I said to myself, ‘Forty-five, at least.’ " "Officer," indignantly remonstrated the lady, "you are very much mistaken. It’s this hat that makes me look so old." Knows His Business. "Is he-a good rabbit dog?" inquired the hunter, after inspecting the animal. "T’ll say he is!" the dealer replied, with pride. "You should have seen the way he went after my wife’s new fur goat!"

A Good Colleetor. English grammar was the lesson in progress. "Now, give me an example of a collective noun,’ demanded the teacher. "Vacuum Cleaner," replied the bright boy. Selected. "T take in boarders," said the poulterer’s new customer. "Pick out some of your toughest birds, if you please." The delighted poulterer very willingly complied with the unusual request, and said in his politest tones: "These are the tough ones, ma’am." Upon which the customer coolly put her hand on the remaining pile and said, "’ take these!"

A Good Excuse. Housewife: "If you love work, why don’t you find it?’ Beggar: "Ah, lady, Love is blind." A Bargain, An old negro, who was leading a a08, was asked what he would sell it or. "Two dollars, Massa," he said, with a grin. "That’s far too much for a dog like that. I’ give you half a dollar for it." "No, sah, it couldn’t be done," said the negro. "Why, de man I got that dog from gave me a whole dollar to get rid of it!" Well Wrapt Up. "Go to Father," she said, When I asked her to wed. Now she knew that I knew That her Father was dead; And she knew that I know Of the life he had ledSo she knew that I knew What she meant, when she said "Go to Father."